Beat Your Heart Out
by GleeGeneration23
Summary: AU of Book 7 and the birth of James Sirius Potter. Ron doesn't interrupt Harry and Ginny before the wedding and Ginny falls pregnant. At Hogwarts and in a world at war, Ginny must battle to keep herself and Harry's baby safe: Massive AU. Mostly Ginny's point of view.
1. On The Day Before

**Hi, so here is another story to this wonderful fandom that I absolutely love writing for. This story is a massive AU that I thought of when watching and reading Deathly Hallows (for the tenth thousand time) and deals with the birth of James Sirius Potter abet a bit earlier. **

**I just want to reiterate that Ginny is sixteen when this story starts and the sex while not graphic, between her and Harry IS Consensual. **

**This story should take about twenty seven chapters to get through and takes place from the Wedding to the end of the book. I really hope that you all enjoy this chapter and that you enjoy this story. **

**Please Read and Review and let me know what you think. **

**Most of this story will be in Ginny's Point of View. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this little plot bunny. **

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Beat Your Heart Out

AU of Book 7 and the birth of James Sirius Potter. Ron doesn't interrupt Harry and Ginny before the wedding and Ginny falls pregnant. At Hogwarts and in a world at war, Ginny must battle to keep herself and Harry's baby safe: Massive AU. Mostly Ginny's point of view.

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Chapter 1-On The Day Before.

In which Ron doesn't interrupt Harry and Ginny. Ginny goes to her brother's wedding and the world falls apart.

* * *

Ginny had not intended to take Harry Potter up to her room and snog the life out of him. She had listened and a part of her had understood when he had told her that they needed to break up. She had understood that Harry had a target on his back, she had understood that Voldemort would try and use anyone close to him.

She had understood that in it's entirety.

It didn't stop the break up from hurting like hell. Ginny had held out on hope for so long that she would get Harry Potter as her boyfriend but she had never really expected it. She had certainly not expected those glorious weeks in the grounds where she'd been the girl that Harry had loved. She had understood in some way. Had hurt like hell though.

And she had told herself before Harry had arrived here, fresh on the doorstep of tragedy, that she was going to be dignified. Ginny had her pride after all and she was not going to pitch herself at his feet and start crying and begging for him to take her back. She was also not going to moon about like a lovesick girl. She was very aware that she had just under two years before she became of age and went to fight in this war. Even if what she couldn't take part in anything yet Ginny knew that she wanted to fight.

Nor had she been stupid in that regard either. Everything that Voldemort had done had been to get at Harry and now Dumbledore was gone…Harry had never been one to shy away from a fight either. And she supposed as well that he had known that there was always a chance this could end with his death. He had never denied the rumours that he was the Chosen One…and everyone from Lupin to her father seemed to know that ultimately the destruction of the darkest wizard of all time would have to be down to Harry.

It was just the day before when he had told her that he wanted to get started on the hunt for Voldemort instead of making stupid place settings or whatever it was that they had been doing, had shook her more than she was prepared to let on. She found that she had ended up in her bedroom shaking uncontrollably and that night she had burrowed under her covers and had wrapped her arms around her stomach and had tried to block out the images of Harry standing in front of the darkest wizard of the age completely alone and prepared to die.

Would just be the kind of thing that he would do, she thought somewhere around three am.

That night she had not slept a wink. The next morning was Harry's birthday and Ginny spent a long time watching the light become brighter. Tomorrow was the wedding. The day afterwards Harry would go and her brother and one of her closest friends—the closest thing she had ever had to an older sister would go with him and then Merlin only knew when she would see him again, see any of them again.

She refused to think of it as an IF.

That morning she spent a long time in the bathroom fiddling with her hair. She had never been that type of girl, six brothers had limited her bathroom time to a good ten minutes and money had never been easy for the Weasley family meaning haircare products or make up were hard to come by. Hermione had given her a load of stuff last Christmas both magical and muggle and again for her birthday and Ginny had spent a memorable afternoon with Hermione and Luna in which they had tried everything out in the dorm rooms and taking the piss out of Lavender and Ron.

She used some of SleekEasy's Shine Serum to make her hair straight down her back and then she used the eyeliner that Hermione had given her to make her eyes a bit wider and a bit greener. There was a pause where she stared at herself in the mirror and she let out a few choice swear words courtesy of six older brothers. Harry had never took notice of her make up before. She wiped her face off and threw her wand into the sink where it sparked.

* * *

Ginny waited until she had the courage to do what she thought she wanted to do. And she did, she couldn't rid the urge of Harry dying out of her mind. She loved him, truly utterly loved him. She suspected from the age of ten she had loved him even without seeing him. Last year alone had proved that he was still there, Dean and Michael had been nothing compared to Harry Potter. He had she suspected utterly ruined her for any other man and when she had told Hermione this in tears one day after he had come back from that maze with Cedric Diggory's body, Hermione had told her very sternly that weeping over a man was not helpful. Something which Ginny had told Hermione herself last year though she supposed she might have been a bit more blunt.

This was her choice, this was her birthday gift…oh no she couldn't say that to him he'd run a mile…no…she wanted to do this. Providing nobody interrupted them she couldn't see why she couldn't have this…though with six brothers, two parents, Hermione, Fleur, Bill's in laws and a eleven year old French girl all staying in the house she supposed that she and Harry didn't have much time. She handled the vial in her hand and then downed it in one.

"Harry can you come in here for a minute?"

Thank Merlin for Hermione. The older girl shot Ginny a look that spoke of some kind of disapproval of the hurt that Ginny knew she was inevitably letting herself in for and then dragged Ron out of the way and downstairs. Providing Hermione could keep Ron occupied for a bit then there was nothing getting in the way and considering that Ron could barely keep his eyes of Hermione when she was in full flow she thought that she might just get away with what she wanted to do with Harry.

Harry came inside and they had some inconsequential conversation about Veela's and presents and the view from her window which saw Ron deep in conversation with Hermione who seemed to be telling him what decorations she wanted to do to the trees for the wedding. If she was honest with herself later she couldn't remember a damn thing that was said between her and Harry before she turned and said the one thing that she could think of.

"Well that's the silver lining I've been looking for"

And then she was kissing him and he was kissing her back his hand in her hair and her hands around his back the bridge of his glasses cutting into her nose and she found in that moment that nothing mattered other than the fact Harry was here with her. For a few glorious minutes she was with the man that she loved and not with the Boy Who Lived or the Chosen One. She was with Harry. And all the pain and all the heartache and all the knowledge that this was a bad idea that would lead to more pain and heartbreak didn't matter to her.

He was here.

She led him back to the bed and he started backwards looking adorably panicked.

"Ginny"

"No" she said feeling that for once she was going to put her foot down. "Harry I want this, I want us. I want us to be together before you leave. Harry…please let me have this, let us have this."

Harry stared at her and Ginny was aware that her hair was all over the place and half her buttoned shirt was undone and that she was breathing heavily. Harry's eyes behind his glasses were blown and he seemed to be having a rather intense discussion with himself. Ginny could have hit him. She knew exactly what he was thinking. She shook her head placing her hand on the side of his face and forcing her to look at him.

"Don't overthink it Harry please. Just be with me. Just me…let's have this moment before the world takes it away"

But before she could finish his mouth was on hers again and she was back on her bed Harry's arms around her and what followed was one of the best moments of her life.

And for once she was not exaggerating.

* * *

Hermione caught her the next morning. Ginny had changed her sheets, took a bath and washed her hair and yet nothing could stop the small smile and the tendency to burst into giggles at random moments, she felt alive in a way she had never done so before. Nothing that Hermione was going to say was going to ruin this glorious, golden day even as she helped lace Ginny into a gold dress that was actually really pretty—gosh she had to give Fleur her due didn't she?

She remarked this to Hermione who stared at her from underneath the towel her hair was in. Hermione stared at her for a second and then sighed. "Oh Ginny…what did you do?"

Ginny stared at her for a second and then before she could stop herself she found herself telling Hermione everything. Hermione was silent for a minute and then…

"Why…what…Ginny why would you do that to yourself. You were heartbroken when he ended things even though you told me you got it. Why would you sleep with him if you know he's going to hunt down Voldemort, if you know that he is going to leave eventually…look…" she said quickly when she caught the look on Ginny's face.

"Ginny I'm not judging you. Your old enough to know what you're doing and It's your body and I suppose it's your heart but Ginny…I don't know how long were gonna be gone…what happens if It's ten, twenty years before you and he see each other again?" The _what happens if this is the death of him _was left unspoken. Hermione too couldn't speak of the death of the man she had known for nearly eight years who was surely walking into a battle he was only halfway prepared for at best.

"Then I will have had this" Ginny said firmly. "I will have had this moment with him. My first time with the first man that I love. The only man that I have ever loved. The only man that I think I will ever love. Don't Hermione, please I argued this back and forth with myself since he came here. I wanted to do this, and he wanted to do this…"

The memory of Harry's face as he looked down at her last night was always at the back of her mind and she shook her head. If she thought about that delicious secret now then it wouldn't just be Hermione who would know that she had lost her virginity to Harry Potter and he had lost his to her.

Hermione sighed. "Ginny your one of my best friends and I think I do understand it. But…Ginny please tell me you were careful. Did you do a contraception potion?"

"Yes" Ginny said nodding. "I did, I spent three days on it and I made sure it brewed correctly, I even ordered in the ingredients though that was bloody difficult and I nabbed the boomslang skin out of Moody's bag when you no doubt smuggled the whole Polyjuice potion out of it as well.

"And you checked all the ingredients were in date?"

Ginny had only a fraction to pause and think. The boomslang skin she had not checked and that was a fundamental part of the potion but she suspected that there was no way someone as hyper vigilant as Mad-Eye Moody would keep potion ingredients on him that were out of date.

"Of course. Didn't you check the Polyjuice potion? This is Moody were talking about after all"

Hermione said nothing for a second and then nodded.

"Ok well, at least you were careful. Was it…did you…did you enjoy it? And please Ginny…Harry's like my brother so…don't be graphic just a yes or no answer will do."

Ginny thought about it, the way Harry had felt and the look on his face, the pain that had turned into a pleasure the likes of which she had never known before. She could understand why her parents were still devoted to each other, why Harry's parents had gotten married straight out of Hogwarts, why Tonks looked so thrilled whenever Lupin was around. She could understand things she'd had no clue on before…even why Fleur was so devoted to Bill and vice versa. Things changed when you took the next step in your relationship. So much of it she had never known before.

"It was the best moment of my life" she said honestly.

Hermione nodded and then she held out her arms and Ginny stepped into them. They hugged each other, the fabric's of their robes rustling against the other and then there was a knock on the door and the distinctly broken English of Gabrielle Delacour asking if they were nearly ready.

Hermione replied in French. It shouldn't have been surprising but Ginny rolled her eyes anyway.

"Come on" Hermione said reaching for her beaded bag. "Let's finish getting ready and then go and see your brother get married"

Ginny nodded wiping her finger under her eyes and then turning back to the mirror so she could reapply her eyeliner before she finished getting dressed. She should be happy she told herself. She'd been with Harry in every way imaginable. She hoped it would help when he did eventually leave her. Most of her family was here, they had all come through the battle of the Seven Potters alive if not whole. She had one more glorious day with Harry.

She shook her head to herself in the mirror. Of course, Mad-Eye would keep his potion ingredients up to date. To suggest otherwise would be ridiculous.

She reached for her lipstick. It was time to go to the wedding.

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**And there you are. I hope you all enjoy. **

**Next Chapter-The Wedding descends into chaos and Ginny and her family come under threat. Harry, Ron and Hermione disappear and the Weasley's spend an uneasy week or so waiting for the other shoe to drop. **


	2. Disastor Relief

**Hi, so here is another chapter. I want to say thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed and followed and favourited the first chapter it means a lot. As I have said I expect this story to last twenty seven chapters and most of it will be in Ginny's point of view. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And I hope to publish chapter three sooner rather than later. **

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Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 2-Disastor Relief

The wedding descends into chaos and Ginny and her family come under threat. Ron, Harry and Hermione disappear and the Weasley's spend an uneasy night or so waiting for the other shoe to drop.

* * *

Even years back Ginny couldn't understand where it had gone wrong. She had just come off the dance floor with Lee Jordan who was mocking George who was now obvious with one ear and his obsession with Angelina Johnson. However once she was off the dance floor and alone Ginny found that she was thirsty and she thought that all things being equal it wouldn't hurt for her to find a glass of champagne and spend some time giggling with Luna about whatever it was that was making Luna so happy. She could see Ron in the corner with his own drink and his eyes met Ginny for a second. And then that was the moment that everything seemed to go silent.

There was a hush suddenly and Ginny tore her eyes away from her brother trying to see what was going on drink all but forgotten. She pushed forwards a little and saw what looked like a lynx twirling in mid air before it landed in the direct line of eyesight of her father, and when he spoke it was with the ever distinct voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

_"__The Ministry of Magic has fallen, Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming. They are coming. They are Coming" _

For a second Ginny stared at the place where the lynx had been, it seemed almost like her mind was like treacle, like the tart filling that Harry loved so much, that had always been his favourite. That her mother made whenever he was around because she knew it was a way of letting him know that she cared about him.

And just like that the dam broke. The Ministry of Magic had fallen to the hands of the Death Eaters. The Minister of Magic was dead. Voldemort knew where Harry was, Harry who was here…at her house, at her parents house, the very same Death Eaters who were coming here.

She threw herself forwards into the wave of the crowds that were now scattering. She forced herself forwards pushing one French cousin out of the way and seeing rather than believing the dark shadows surrounding the once happy tent. She could hear the screaming and she could hear the fighting begin, she saw Tonks raise her wand, Lupin next to her, people disapparateing and screaming and fighting and running and yet at no point could she see Harry, or Ron, or Hermione, or anyone else that she recognised. Just as she thought she was reaching the edge of the dancefloor a hand shot out and grabbed her elbow, pulling her out of the crush of people like a fish on a line. She was pressed back against a chest and dragged backwards, Ginny reached for her wand and was about to ram it backwards until she hit a part of this Death Eater's face but a voice that was loud in her ear and yet so exceptionally familiar that she thought her knees were going to collapse said.

"Gin stop it's me"

It was Fred. The twins now easy to separate were in a corner. Fleur her still lovely face twisted with a fury and a pain that Ginny couldn't even begin to understand was there with Bill and Charlie. She noticed that the Delacour's had gone and she wondered if Fleur had told her parents to go and take the little blonde who had shadowed Ginny and Hermione so much over the last couple of days and she had stayed there to face the threat with her husband.

Not for the first time since Bill had been attacked and she had watched as the woman her brother wanted to marry and her mother come face to face for the first real time, Ginny felt her respect for Fleur rise somewhat. A second later their parents were their and Ginny found herself pressed somewhat in the middle of a huddle. She had no idea if Luna, or if Tonks or Lupin had gotten away, if Lee or Angelina had stayed to fight. She also had no idea if Harry, Ron, Hermione…

She stopped thinking of that wiping her finger under her undereye and seeing water mixed in with the mascara that Hermine had lent her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She forced herself to stand up with her wand in her hand but her brain was still (if she was being honest with herself) wondering how she had gone from wondering if she could sneak a dance with one of her red headed cousins and get a chance to tell him…to tell him…

Oh Merlin, what if Ginny never got a chance to tell him?

Arms wrapped around her and she felt someone pull her closer. Ginny had always hated to be babied. She was the youngest of seven and all of her siblings were boys. She had learnt to be tough, she had fought in Dumbledore's Army in the Ministry of Magic, she had took down two Death Eaters that night alone and she had also fought the night that her Headmaster had fallen. Not to mention that whole being possessed and opening the Chamber of Secrets that had been her first school year. Crying was not something that she did lightly and yet here she was shaking with fear that they had caught Harry and that this war which all of her family were invested in was over before it had begun.

She looked up her hair coming down from it's half style to see Fleur her own blue eyes blown but her face perfectly steady she let out a small smile and Ginny smiled back feeling the muscles stretch across her face.

The whole thing from the Patronus to the Weasley Family standing in a corner surrounded by broken glass and champagne on the floor and fire coming out of the tent top had taken probably about a minute and a half and yet it had felt like forever, like time had slowed down and she had just gone along with it for the ride. The world had gone upside down and they had gone from just surviving the war, fighting and clinging to as much power as they could to the Death Eaters in on the rise and they were now up against the wall.

"Ah Mr Weasley"

Ginny despite her misgivings peered around her father's shoulder who had straightened up a hand half out to stop Charlie from coming to stand next to him. Ginny couldn't see much but she thought it might be the face of Theodore Nott's father whose name she couldn't remember. Nott had inherited his father's week chin and twisted smile.

"Mr Nott" her father continued in the tone that Ginny knew from childhood was reserved specifically for Lucius Malfoy.

"I regret to inform you that the Minister for Magic has had a…breakdown…of sorts and has had to be shall we say, removed from office for the time being. Pius Thicknessee has happily accepted the job. I was wondering if perhaps Harry Potter was around? The new Minister would like to co-ordinate security"

Ginny had listened to some hippogriff shit in her time (having six brothers will do that to you not to mention having been on a Quidditch team for the last two years) but this really was taking the piss she thought. How the Death Eaters expected the Wizarding World to believe this she didn't know. But then again a small voice in the back of her head said, the majority of them had believed that Fudge was a confident and collected ruler.

"I am afraid Harry Potter no longer resides under my roof" her father said with some delicacy, Ginny knew that he must have practised this answer. "He left after seeing my youngest son infected with Spattergroit. He is currently upstairs if you would wish to ascertain these facts for yourselves?"

He stepped carefully to one side his arm sweeping to the side so that Nott had no choice but to follow. Nott's father said nothing but his eyes slid from Ginny to Fleur in a way that had Ginny shivering despite the night air still being warm and humid. George stiffened next to her and then rubbed her arm and Bill stepped up to wrap an arm around their mother.

It was going to be one hell of a long night.

* * *

The Death Eaters and Ministry workers-though Ginny suspected that they were now all one in the same, left the Burrow at two thirty in the morning leaving behind a mess that would take weeks both physically and emotionally to heal from. The second they had disapperated from their living room (which was as Ginny had been told since childhood, about as rude as kicking down the front door—which she supposed they had anyhow) Fleur went to floo her parents, her father and mother retreated into the quiet of the kitchen to try and communicate no doubt with the various scattered members of the Order and Ron if they could.

Ginny went to the window and stared out into her garden. The stars were shining and the wind was blowing around the corn and there going to be a big fat moon in two or three days time she knew. She felt the warm night air on her face and knew that the protective boundaries which had allowed all of her family to come back two weeks ago from helping the man she loved to escape had gone. She knew that they were being watched, that they would be followed, their post opened and read not for security reasons but for suspicious reasons. They had gone in the space of that minute from allies in the war against Voldemort to enemies against the 'peace' that the Ministry so desperately craved.

Ginny took a moment to apricate that she was now calling him Voldemort in her head. She had tried saying the name to herself in the darkened shadows of her bedroom once and she'd had to curl up on herself and shudder her way to sleep. Tom, well…she knew Tom was his name, but she couldn't say Tom out loud. Nobody here would make the connection and she had never wanted to draw the gaze of her family to the events that had transpired in the opening of the Chamber of Secrets all those years ago. They would have thought that Tom was a friend or a boyfriend and even she had to admit there were three boys in her year called Tom alone never mind other variations of the name Thomas. So she had to call him by his first name but only in her head. Now she could do so but Ginny knew she could never say Voldemort's name out loud. She like so many others who had had parents growing up and raising families in the First Wizarding War was still too afraid to give a name to the thing that had caused hell.

And now it was starting back up all over again. And like before they were on the backfoot. No Dumbledore. No Harry.

She closed her eyes, he had only been gone a few hours and already she was wondering what he was doing, if he was safe, when she would see him again. Pathetic really.

"Ginny" George said cutting across her inner thoughts. "Why don't you help me make some tea? I think we should all spend the night down here don't you think?"

His tone was impossibly gentle and Ginny found herself nodding just for the comfort of having something to do.

"Just let me go and get changed first, out of this dress"

She was rather pleased with how her voice didn't wobble.

Her room was still the same as it had been this morning when Hermione had been asking her about the Contraceptive Potion. Now she didn't know if she would ever see Hermione again. Or her big brother…or…

She looked across at the dark sky, she could see what was left of the wedding tent in smoulders on the mass of grass that was their backyard and the garden that turned into the land surrounding them. She pulled her curtains shut and her light came on illuminating the bed where less than twenty four hours ago she had told Harry not to think, to be with her, to love her.

Methodically Ginny slid out of the golden dress and groaned as she felt the bodice force itself off her ribs. She left it on the floor and ran her hands up and down the ridges on her stomach and under her breasts. She kicked her shoes off, wiped her make up and ran a brush through her hair and then yanked her bra off. She lay on the bed for a second thinking that perhaps she might be able to smell Harry's unique scent of tea, treacle tart, broomstick shavings and something else that was uniquely Harry before she realised that there was only so much time she could get away with before one of her brothers (or worse her mother) came looking for her.

Privacy was a foreign concept when you had six brothers. And the last thing Ginny needed was for them to find her half naked on her bed, her arms wrapped around her waist and trying not to cry.

She forced herself into her old pyjama's the top and the shorts two sizes to small and she grabbed the blanket off her bed staring at her room where just a few hours ago the world had seemed perfect and full of light and she'd had everything she'd took for granted and not understood despite everything that she had seen and witnessed and been a party too, that she could have ever wanted.

Ginny wiped her eyes again but found that she was smiling even if it was self-deprecating. How had it been that this morning she'd been worrying about a contraceptive potion? How had it been that twenty four hours before that she'd been wrapped around Harry Potter pretending that what they were doing wasn't a prelude to a goodbye where there was no given chance that they would see each other again?

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**And there you are. Please let me know what you think. I will hopefully update sooner rather than later. See you next time. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny comes down with a bug that for some reason she cannot shake as she and her family try to survive the new world. And September 1st is looming. **


	3. Hold What You Got

**Hi, so here is another chapter and this one is the longest so far. I know many of you are wondering about when Ginny will realise that she is pregnant but that reveal wont come until the next chapter and the one after that will deal with confirmation and her thought process which I hope will clear up any questions that you might, therefore I can confirm she will be at Hogwarts when she finds out officially. **

**Also I do know that the information of Harry being Undesirable Number 1 and the release of the Death Eaters probably didn't happen in one day but that's just the way I am portraying it for dramatic purpose. **

**I hope to update sooner rather than later. And I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please Read and Review. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 3-Hold What You Got.

Ginny comes down with a bug that for some reason she cannot shake as she and her family try to survive this new world. And September 1st is looming.

* * *

The first week or so after the wedding was a blur. The Weasley family adapted in a way that they had never done before. Ginny had been a child born into peace, she had never known a world where Voldemort had been at large. Yes she had seen the strain to her parents that the past two years had given them, she had seen the loss that losing Sirius had given to Harry, she had heard about the attacks, Ron…Katie Bell…the death of Hannah Abbott's mother, the breakout of the ten prisoners from Azkaban. She had fought in the Department of Mysteries, she had listened that summer to Ron's nightmares as he remembered the brains…

But she had never before felt fear like this.

Perhaps it was because Dumbledore was gone. It seemed to the Order of the Phoenix that while they had, had Dumbledore they had, had hope. They'd had a figurehead. The Wizarding world had, had a figurehead. And then when he had died they'd had Harry. Now both were gone and the world that she had grown up in, her childhood, was crumbling around her ears and she didn't know what to do.

They were being watched. The charms that were placed around the Burrow during Harry's stay were back in place. The post was being searched again though Ginny knew it was not by their side. It was not for their protection, it was for information. Her father had chanced a Patronus to Ron's location warning him not to get in touch as they were being watched. He had gathered them all together that week after the Wedding and had told them using a tone of voice that Ginny had never heard him use before—even when Percy had left them that they were now in danger.

"Chances are we are being watched by the Death Eaters or Ministry Workers" he said over dinner. Ginny picked at the beef in front of her. She seemed to have no appetite.

"There essentially the same thing anyway" George said morosely through a mouthful of mashed potato. Ginny nodded. Their father sighed. "I know" he said heavily. "I suspect I am being watched at work. We need to be prepared. The Ministry is working on some secret legislature that I am not privy too. I am being demoted back to the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office as well—" his expression brightened a little at that and Ginny caught Fred's eye and had to look away to hide her smile. It was typical of her father to be pleased at a demotion back to the department that he had loved.

"I will try and stay on in my current job as long as possible. But I want us all to be prepared. We might have to go into hiding. Ron, Harry and Hermione have managed to stay hidden this long, Remus tells us that Grimmauld Place is their hideout though that was some weeks ago and I haven't spoken to Remus since…" their father frowned but Ginny was diverted.

"There at Grimmauld Place?" she shrieked. "Snape can get in there can't he?"

"Shut the fuck up Gin. Don't think the Death Eaters outside heard that piece of information" Charlie hissed at her. Ginny snarled her desperation making her feel slightly sick.

"We have enchantments around the house dipshit. They cannot hear us, cannot see us, cannot apparate into our house. For all intents and purposes, we are safe. We still have meetings, don't we?"

"Yes we do" her father said soothingly. "But Ginny these charms are not fool proof, if the Death Eaters have an excuse they will break them. I have protected us as best I can. They cannot hear us true. Yes I am Secret Keeper, yes I am protecting this house so we can continue to talk and yes Remus has indicated that Harry was at Grimauld Place. But I don't know if he is still there and the house is being watched constantly. So please. Can we calm down"

Ginny stared at her father for a second and then dropped down so that she was sitting back at the table she forced herself to nibble her bit of beef again even though the smell turned her stomach. There was another long pause before George started the conversation again.

"So what were you saying Dad. About going into hiding. We cannot do it here? If you are Secret Keeper?"

"No. I have a feeling that if they can they will break the charms and besides this house cannot take a massive offensive attack. Should we have to go into hiding and I can assure you that I will try and prolong that for as long as possible then we shall have to go to Muriel's"

"Oh bloody hell" Bill said with an eyeroll. Their mother's admonishment of "Bill!" and Fleur's gentle pat on her husband's arm was ignored as Ginny's stomach gave a violent turn.

"Shit" she muttered and then she was running up the stairs ignoring the looks of surprise from her family and finding the bathroom her hands clapped over her mouth. She fell to her knees and vomited in the toilet her whole body retching. She could feel it coming again and she leaned her head against the seat her body shuddering with the aftershocks.

Ginny could feel her hair being pulled back and she turned to see her mother standing their crouched over her with a wan smile. Ginny looked into the well known and loved face that was her mother and she felt the tears come to her eyes rapidly, they spilled over before she blink them away and ignoring the vomit, the stiffness in her knees and back that came with age and caring for a large family and stress and ignoring the cramped conditions of the bathroom Molly Weasley sat down next to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her as Ginny buried her head in her mother's jumper and cried for a little.

After a period of time Ginny wiped her eyes pulling back.

"Sorry" she said gesturing to the toilet.

"Oh honey" her mother laughed. "I raised seven children, six of them were boys and two were Fred and George. Vomit doesn't bother me anymore. I think I must be immune to it."

Ginny let out a watery laugh.

"It's just a bug" she said finally.

"How long have you been sick?"

"Just a couple of weeks" Ginny said. "Since the wedding. It's just stress, I need to get my appetite back but…" she shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it. I need to get myself together for Hogwarts"

Her mother dithered. Ginny caught her eye and started upwards pulling the toilet lid down, flushing the toilet as she did so and sitting down on the cold china so that the two of them were face to face.

"What?" she asked flatly.

"Ginny…have you considered the possibility that going back to Hogwarts…might not be the best thing to do in these difficult times?"

Ginny blinked. "You want me to drop out?" she asked flatly. There was a moment where she stared at her mother and then she felt the laughter bubble up inside of her. She laughed though there was no humour in it and then wiped her fingers under her eyes again, banishing the tears that came to her so easily these days.

"You gave Ron absolute hell for trying to drop out and have you even forgiven George and Fred for leaving that year Umbridge was in charge? And now you want me to drop out and do what? Hide for the rest of my life. No. That's not me. That was never me. And that was never the person that you raised me to be. I have to go back. I have to go back to Hogwarts even if the place is riddled with evil."

Her mother stared at her for a second and then smiled. "I figured" she said softly. "But you can't blame me for trying. You're not a mother yet Ginny. When you are…and I hope with all my heart that your never in my situation but if you are then you will understand why I asked you this"

She stood up and Ginny saw the stiffness in her mother's knees and her wince as she got to her feet and she felt a great wave of sadness for what she was going through. But she couldn't change who she was. She had to go back to Hogwarts, someone had to get Dumbledore's Army running. Someone had to make sure that the Death Eaters never got the chance to take Hogwarts as Professor Dumbledore was so adamant last year that they would never do. He had said that they were the greatest weapon that the Death Eaters had and Ginny would do all in her power to make sure that they never got the chance to use it.

She just needed this bug to pass sooner rather than later.

* * *

The following week Bill came home with an ashen expression. Fleur who had been in the kitchen had gone as white as milk and George had thrust a chair under their eldest brother who actually seemed to be having issues speaking due to what Ginny thought might be rage. Fleur had not gone back to work yet, she was trying to find the couple a house so that another location could be used for Order members and also so that they could move away from her parents and become a proper married couple.

"What happened?" Charlie asked gripping his wand. Her other brother too had still not gone back to work. Fred and George were here as well, their shop open but still finding their way home for dinner five times out of seven. Ginny watched from the doorway feeling exhaustion pulling at every bone in her body. She was still not sleeping very well. She put her hand to her stomach as if she could control the rolling in it that still hadn't gone away despite the potion she had ordered to control the nausea that she assumed came from the world crashing down around her.

"They just exonerated Bellatrix Lestrange" Bill said in a voice of deathly anger. "I came into work to find her ordering the goblins around with her husband demanding access to her vault." He shot a look to his mother. "Dolohov was with her. They've been exonerated by the Ministry. What happened to Uncle Fabien and Uncle Gideon…Frank and Alice Longbottom…all of it. The Ministry has declared it all a combination of freak accidents. Mum I'm sorry"

Ginny's eyes slid to her mother who seemed to be staring at Bill without really seeing him. The death of the two uncles that neither she nor Ron had, had the chance to meet was something that still brought her mother to tears even now. To lose two brothers all in one night…Ginny shuddered just thinking off it. And Neville…Ginny had been at St Mungo's. She had seen what was left of Alice and Frank Longbottom and it had made her shake that night in that big musty house in a way that the cold had never made her done. There was a pause where she stood there, where everyone stood there and then their mother seemed to sway. George pointed his wand again and another chair fell out of mid-air skidded towards them and caught their mother as her knees went out. Ginny moved to take her cold hand as her mother stared without seeing and Fred ran to the floo to contact their father. Fleur went to put the kettle on and with a whip of her wand got a blanket that Ginny arranged around her mother's shoulders. Bill dropped his head into his hands.

"What are the goblins doing with this information" Charlie asked his voice the harshest that Ginny had ever heard it. Bill shook his head running a calloused and scarred hand over his face.

"They don't like it. The Ministry has insisted that they should now be in charge of security for the protection of wizard-kind. And now they want access to vaults, security plans, information on how much money people have…Harry for a start and anyone else they can think they can threaten. You can imagine how the goblins of Gringotts are taking that. But they don't have a choice. It's form in line or be forced out. I imagine their putting a few traps of their own in place but the damage this has done for goblin and wizard relationships will take a generation to fix"

There was a rush of fire and their father came out his green suit coated in soot, Fred right behind him, his face furious. He immediately went to their mother's side and whispered in a tone of voice filled with so much emotion that Ginny had to look away…

"Molly…Molly dear…It doesn't change anything. We know how Fabien and Gideon died. The world knows. Dolohov might be able to walk around now unpunished but everyone who matters knows that your brothers died selflessly, as heroes."

Their mother took a shuddering gasp and nodded accepting the tea from Fleur with a small trembling smile. Fleur waved her wand and a round of Fire-Whisky came around. Everyone took one Ginny included though she sat on the stairs out of sight. She took a sip and but it back down again. Instead of the warmth that came when she had last drank the stuff she felt a headache coming. She threw it into the plant pot next to her and watched as the plant gave a little happy quiver.

"There is more news that I believe I must share with you" her father said and Ginny stood on shaky legs and came to sit at the table. "I intend to tell it to the Order but I believe you all deserve to know it. Ginny in particular this includes you especially if you have decided that you want to return to Hogwarts. It has been confirmed that Snape has been appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts. Also confirmed are the appointments of the Carrows who will join as teaching staff. They are Death Eaters and were their the night Dumbledore died"

"I know" Ginny said over the cries of outrage from her brothers. "I fought Alecto Carrow that night."

She remembered the look that he had given her and shuddered. Had Harry not given them his potion that night…well…things could have gone very differently.

"Gin are you sure you want to go back?" Fred asked quietly. Ginny looked at him and she knew her face was a mask of no emotion.

"Yes" she said shortly. "What more is there Dad?"

All eyes turned back to their father who gave a very long sigh.

"The Ministry has decided to move against Muggle-Borns. Tomorrow's press will see them claim that Muggle-Borns have stolen magic and that they plan to question all Muggle-Borns to see where they have stolen magic from. It's rubbish of course, it's designed to attack the weaker members of the magical society. Muggle Borns now have the chance to face mass persecution or flee the country. Remus has confirmed from one of Tonks's sources that education is now compulsory for every child in England. You always had the chance of home schooling before or sending your child overseas. Now He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will have control over every child in this country. Also the Ministry has confirmed they are looking for Harry…"

Their father closed his eyes for a second as if he knew that the news was going to hurt and when he opened them he looked straight at Ginny.

"He is being sought after in connection with Dumbledore's death"

Ginny stared at him unable to speak. Her hand on the table was trembling and she felt Fred come and stand next to her his hand on her shoulder. She took a deep gulp of air and tried to blink back the ever present tears.

"Bloody hell" George said into the silence. "Have they all cracked? How…how can someone steal magic? How can they think that Harry would ever be behind Dumbledore's death? How can anyone think that?"

"Oh they will" their father said darkly. "If it's a choice between believing Harry's guilty or getting dragged off to Azkaban in front of your children then people will believe it willingly. The coop's been relatively smooth and successful."

Ginny sat there feeling like the world had just been pulled under her again.

"Did you speak to Remus?" she asked quietly. "Does Harry know that he's a suspect?" And then a terrible thought came to her and the guilt rolled through her as she found she had not thought of one of her best friends since she had fled.

"Does Hermione know that she is now a criminal? Does she know that the Ministry is hunting Muggle Borns?"

Their father twisted so that he was staring at them and his face was filled with sympathy.

"I don't know if she knows Ginny. I don't know what is going on with Remus and Tonks and their marriage, but I do know that Remus is not there anymore"

Ginny blinked.

"Wow" she said finally. That she had not seen coming.

"Is he still at Grimmauld Place?"

There must have been something in her tone that gave away what she was thinking about. Because her father turned to her with a look that made her sit up straighter. His whole expression was one of worry and fury and concern mingled together and she found that she couldn't look him in the eye. It was like he was using Occlumency on her.

"Ginny! Don't you even think about it."

"Think about what?"

"Going to Grimmauld Place to see Harry, Ron and Hermione"

The second he said it there was an uproar. George got to his feet, Bill looked up from his hands and Ginny who was used to such protection and was used to feeling annoyed from it couldn't help in this instance from feeling touched that they cared.

"Alright!" she shouted over the noise. "I wasn't going to go anywhere anyway."

That was a lie and she could tell that while her parents believed her, her brothers did not. She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest and winced. Damn her boobs were tender all of a sudden—she was going to have to go to Madam Victoria in Diagon Ally and get a bra fitting she was sure. She shook her head, trying to think on more the conversation that her family were having.

"Look" her Dad said putting up his hand and effectively ending the conversation. "I will continue to tell you all what is going on when I hear the news. Boys, I want you all to go back to your work—the more we hide here the more we look guilty. Ginny you will have to go back to Hogwarts, what Ron, Harry and Hermione are doing is between themselves and Dumbledore and we will all respect that. Tonight I expect you to pack go-bags in case we have to go into hiding. Clothes, books, whatever, have them in case we need them. I expect each and everyone of you…" and here he looked at them each in turn including Fleur.

"To act accordingly. No risks. Nothing that might bring danger down upon us. Ginny when you get to Hogwarts I expect the same from you. if you can find a way out of the school do, but I don't want you to get into trouble. I will try and protect you all but…"

"Dad…" George said his face twisting slightly. "What are you going to do about Percy? I mean…does he know what's going on? Does he have a plan in case something happens?"

There was a terrible pause. Their father gave a long sigh taking their mother's hand as she passed Fleur the tea she had still been sipping.

"I have not seen Percy yet. If I can…I will pass on the message that he is perfectly welcome to come and hide with us. I know you boys don't like this, but if it means that we have to come out of this alive as a family then the invitation to come home is always open. I will not deny Percy that. I will not deny him a safe hiding place and neither will any of you"

His voice had become so strong and so unlike their usual carefree, father's tone that none of the Weasley's could argue with that. They all nodded. Fred and George a bit reluctantly but they nodded none the same.

There was a long pause as the Weasley children, Fleur and their parents took in what the world was coming too. Eventually their mother spoke.

"I think I'll start with dinner" she said though her face was still as white as skimmed milk. Ginny stood up but the nausea was back and she found she was slightly dizzy. She gripped the back of her chair forcing herself to stand straight. She was not going to fall now. She was certainly not going to fall in front of four brothers. She'd never hear the end of it.

"I can help Molly" Fleur said softly. It was a mark of how far their mother had come that she accepted Fleur's help without a second glance. Ginny watched them and then when the fuss had died down bolted to her own bedroom where she was sick in her own private bathroom that she had begged her Dad to charm when she had first gotten her period and had known the hell that would come if she changed a tampon in front of her brothers.

She was tired of feeling so sick but yet she had no idea what had caused this bug.

She didn't want to think of it. She was so tired she wanted to sleep.

* * *

Ginny did indeed sleep. She slept to dinner when Fleur came up her blonde hair curling over her shoulder to tell her that dinner was ready. She forced herself downstairs and found she was starving when she came face to face with the chicken pot pie that her mother made.

She found that night he ate three helpings of the damn thing and picked the edge of her pie dish for the extra butter filled pastry. She added a bit more salt than she was used to on her pie but it was the first meal in a while that she found that she could eat. Certainly it was better than that beef monstrosity that her mother had cooked (despite the fact that she had cooked that as a Friday night staple since Ginny was young enough to dream of going to Hogwarts).

Either way she found that when she went to bed that night she was full and happy for the first time since the Wedding. She found that she was sleeping better and deeper. There were no dreams of Harry on the end of Voldemort's wand.

She woke up at what she thought was three in the morning and crawled out of her bed. There was a week between her and Hogwarts. Tomorrow she would be going to Diagon Ally. She found herself staring out of the window at the stars that were shining in the sky. She found that she was looking at them for a long time and then she crawled back to bed her thin cotton pyjama's giving her no warmth.

If she was brave. If she was really brave then she would grab her broomstick and fly to London and she would be with Harry right now, safe and sound in his bed, in his arms and with her brother chatting over breakfast as if nothing had changed and talking to Hermione—perhaps she would know what was making her so sick…

Either way if she was brave, then she would do that. But she was not brave. Not like that. Instead she went to bed and burrowed herself under the cover and closed her eyes, her arms wrapping around her stomach and wondered what Harry was doing right now, as the stars shined down on her and she fell into a deep sleep, the kind that came with a good meal and something else. Something that Ginny didn't know yet, and something that when she did, would blow her life apart.

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will publish the next one sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-The Weasley's descend on a very different Leaky Cauldron and beyond. Ginny's bug won't go away. Luna makes an appearance and makes an suggestion that horrifies Ginny and sets certain events in motion. **


	4. Beneath The Mask

**Hi, so here is another chapter. Same rules as all the others apply to this one. Next chapter does see the beginnings of Ginny going back to Hogwarts and soon I will introduce a character who I believe is sadly lacking when it comes to cannon Harry Potter. As of right now though here is this chapter and I apologise for the lateness of the updating. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine **

**Please Read and Review and let me know what you think. **

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Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 4-Beneath The Mask

The Weasley's descend on a very different Diagon Ally and Leaky Cauldron. Ginny's bug won't go away. Luna makes an appearance and an suggestion that horrifies Ginny and sets certain events in motion.

* * *

Ginny had seen the Leaky Cauldron dead the year before. She had seen it in silence for the first time in living memory and she had seen the streets of Diagon Ally like this. She had seen people huddled together last year, she had seen the worried looks and anxious faces and the way that people had muttered when they had seen Harry who had always tried his best to be immune to the looks.

This was entirely different.

The streets were deserted. Shops were boarded up and closed. Wanted posters of Death Eaters had been replaced with Wanted posters of Harry and Ginny found herself strangely biting back a laugh when she saw the picture they had used. The only poster that they had, had to hand was the one where he had been in the Triwizard Tournament. The Ministry had never bothered to post pictures of him when Umbridge had been in her thrall and Ginny knew (because Harry had told her during their secluded sessions in the grounds) that both he and Dumbledore had refused the Ministry any more posters. And Rita Skeeter was forbidden to come anywhere near him.

Of course the only poster that they were using was the one that they had, had when he had still been in favour, the one when Ginny had still been half deliriously in love with him, a child who had been on the verge of becoming a woman and who had cried herself to sleep when she had realised that she had lost the chance to ask him to go to the Yule Ball with him.

There were no wanted posters of Ron which meant that the story their father was selling was working in which Ginny was glad. She didn't think she could stand to see Ron or Hermione's face on a Wanted Poster.

Silently she, her mother, Bill and Charlie (both of whom had come under the guise of speaking to Fred and George—and not as they had assured a sceptical Ginny—protection) moved quietly down the ally. It felt strange, not having Ron here. Ginny was used to going into Flourish and Blotts with Hermione by her side a list in her hand ready to get all of the books that she needed plus a few others that she probably didn't need but had always claimed were nothing more but 'Background Reading'. It felt strange to go to Quality Quidditch Supplies and not see Harry in the back looking over the newest Broomstick Servicing Kit. The whole experience was just strange and Ginny who had never been the most emotional of people felt close to tears for reasons she didn't want to think about. She was always crying or laughing hysterically these days. And they were only two weeks into the new regime. If it lasted long then she'd be a physical and mental wreck by Christmas.

And more to the point she couldn't go anywhere alone. She felt like snapping to her mother (who had clearly decided that she was going to shadow Ginny today and all days they were outside the perimeter of the Burrow) that even though she was underage she had fought in two small battles with Dumbledore's Army and with the exception of a broken ankle and some scratches she was still alive. She didn't need the constant shadowing. All it did was put her teeth on edge.

"Dear I wrote to Xeno Lovegood yesterday" her mother said finally. "I thought we'd take Luna with us when we go down to London in two days time. I know he usually takes her himself but…well…I didn't want to leave things to chance. With him…I've always said I'm amazed that girl gets to the platform on time"

Ginny nodded without really hearing it even thought she had to bit back her smile. Luna and her had been friends since they were kids, the Lovegood's neighbours to the Weasley's and certainly since the death of Luna's mother, Molly Weasley had never hid her concern that Xeno Lovegood was not the best parent left to raise a child. But Ginny wouldn't deny that it would be good to see Luna again. She needed the company and more to the point she needed help with her battle plan.

Ginny had suspected the second that the Ministry had declared what had happened to Frank and Alice Longbottom as accidents and had given Bellatrix Lestrange a full pardon and an apology, Neville Longbottom had begun to put into operation a plan to restart Dumbledore's Army. She knew Neville. She knew what he was capable off. She knew how he had felt when she had broken out of Azkaban in the first place. Either way she knew that he was struggling. Either way she wanted to be part of the fight.

And she knew that Luna would want to be part of it too.

Also…Luna was a friend. Luna was a good friend and a trusted friend and Luna wouldn't care if all Ginny wanted to do was sit and cry and try not to think about Harry. In fact knowing Luna she would be more than content to sit in the corner doing a Quibbler crossword rather than bemoaning Ginny for knowingly getting her heart broken again.

"That sounds great Mum" she said finally. "Luna and I need a proper chat"

Her Mum nodded seemingly pleased with the upbeat mood and she finished her shopping with a spring in her step though it was rather quickly diminished as soon as they hit the open air and she saw Harry's face plastered all across the wall.

A quick visit to Fred and George's to make sure that everything was ok and that they were coming to dinner this weekend and Ginny disappearing into the small sweet shop for a massive box of fudge that for some reason she was craving like mad, Bill, Charlie and her mother decided that they had gathered enough supplies to leave Diagon Ally. They had not seen one Death Eater and of that Ginny was eternally thankful for. She had to admit that while she was looking for a fight—slightly recklessly, desperate for a fight she didn't want to start fighting Bellatrix Lestrange in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron. They ducked back into the floo, back into their kitchen where Ginny watched as her mother checked the spells around the house were still in place and then only then could her mother relax, the tension in her shoulders loosening somewhat.

"I think I'll start on lunch." She said in a vain effort to pretend that she had not just gone through the longest morning of her life. "Ginny will you take your things upstairs and unpack. Also do a quick check of your toiletries for Hogwarts please. If you need anything more then you need to get it ordered to the house, I don't want to go out again if I have too" her mother shivered slightly as if the cold breeze that had permeated the ally had followed them home here on the warm August day.

Ginny nodded once again feeling a wave of concern at the way her mother was acting. There might be times when Ginny felt completely overwhelmed by the protectiveness that she thought came from being the youngest and the only girl, there were times when she was damn well irritated. And yet…there were times when she felt the strain just like her mother. There were times when she felt the great wave of pain for what her mother was going through, having raised small children during the last war and was now raising grown children in this one.

"I know mum" she said finally. "I'll be upstairs if you need me"

She turned and walked upstairs but something on the first floor made her stop. Fleur was in the bathroom and probably having a bath and Ginny could smell the lavender coming out from the bathroom. The scent of it was so strong that Ginny almost went dizzy. She could feel the vomit rising and she bolted for her bedroom, for the tiny toilet that she had in the tiny area near her room and she threw up into the toilet her whole body groaning with the strain. She felt dizzy with the strength of how hard her stomach was revolting at the stench of that damn lavender oil which was strange because she usually liked scents like that.

She wiped her face in the mirror and noticed that she was white, the strength of this illness had knocked her backwards. She looked older than she was and as she crawled back into her bedroom and changed into her pyjama's she noticed that she was shivering so violently it was like she was vibrating in the bed. She couldn't seem to get warm despite the fact that it was a hot day in August and then before she could stop herself her eyelids were closing without violation and she was asleep.

Ginny dreamed of Harry, it didn't surprise her, of course she was beginning to dream of him, she had been dreaming of him since she had been a child. She was not surprised she was dreaming of him now.

But she was surprised when she woke up to find that her face was wet with tears. She couldn't remember the dream at all but she had been crying throughout it and she turned on her back to swipe her fingers under her eyes. She stared at the ceiling again and then her stomach did another roll and she bolted.

This time she made it to the sink before she vomited.

She crawled back after she had washed her mouth and curled back into bed shivering again. Despite not wanting anything more to eat she found that she was unwrapping a piece of fudge and popping it into her mouth. One became two and two became three and suddenly she was eating most of the box.

Only then did her stomach do a little flutter and then finally settle down. Ginny laid back against the pillows and tried to think about the last time she had been sick and how long it had lasted. She thought once before sleep claimed her again that she could go to her mother and tell her that she thought that she was sick but she couldn't.

Ginny personally thought her mother was going through enough.

And with that she fell asleep again.

* * *

She didn't wake up again until it was dark and she felt before she saw Luna sat on the edge of the window looking out serenely as if Ginny slept for most of the day every day that they had known each other. She sat up on one elbow and ran a hand through her hair wincing as she felt the tangles pull.

"You've been asleep all day. I think your mother thinks your heartbroken all over Harry. I tried to tell her that it was probably the Nargles affecting your hormones but you know what she's like"

Ginny resisted the urge to laugh. She could only imagine what her mother would make of Nargles.

"How are you feeling?" Luna asked her face awash of concern even under her mass of blonde hair and her wide eyes. Ginny felt nothing but glad that her friend had not changed regardless of the fact that the world was ending for the second time.

"Are you ok?" Luna asked finally turning to look her in the eye. "I know that Barney was Harry. I know that the two of you were close."

"I slept with him Luna" Ginny said finally into the silence. There was the belief that if she couldn't be honest with Luna then she couldn't be honest with anyone.

Luna stared at her for a second with her big eyes and then turned her attention to the window again.

"I did wonder why he looked so happy at the wedding. He seemed…at peace with himself even though he was disguised. There were no Rackspurts surrounding him at all. Usually there are but he never wants me to help cleanse him of it"

Ginny flopped down onto her pillows staring at the ceiling.

"It's a mess" she confessed. "I'm a mess"

"Explains the Rackspurts surrounding you" Luna said sagely. "Are you pregnant?"

Ginny sat up so fast the room went blurry for a second.

"No!" she said so vehemently that Luna jumped a little. "No Luna I am not! Don't say things like that! I was careful, I told Hermione I was careful. I'm just sick. Not surprising considering what's happening"

"Yes it is all very unpleasant" Luna said finally as if Death Eaters being freed and Voldemort taking over the Ministry and Harry being hunted down like the last stray dog in the pack happened every other day. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Daddy says it's not going to stop him though" she added with a tinge of pride in her voice. "He says the Quibbler is now going to promote the truth. I do hope he knows what he's doing, he's been fired up like this before and it's never ended well. But still…your mother has made a ham and leek pie for dinner by the way I was supposed to come up here and get you"

Ginny paused. Her appetite was so delicate these days that she dithered. But the thought of a hot pie with thick pastry and that creamy sauce her mother could produce out of thin air made her feel hungrier than she had in a long time. Why was it just beef she couldn't go near? Was she getting an aversion to red meat?

"Come on then" she said throwing back the covers. Luna stared at her for a second her head tilted to the side. "What?" Ginny said wrapping her hands around her stomach feeling the flesh there…maybe she should lay of the fudge a little bit.

"Nothing, just…just something different about you that's all. You…Ginny you were careful with Harry weren't you?"

Ginny rolled her eyes again like she had done with Hermione and tried to fake a confidence she was too tired to feel.

"Yes I am sure. I've already had my period this month but I promise you Luna as soon as I have it again I will show you ok? If you want us to be _that _close"

"Oh I trust you Ginny, it's just the Rackspurts"

Ginny tactfully didn't say anything she just went down to dinner.

She ate the pie, she ate second helpings too but for some reason she couldn't make herself eat the mashed potato even though her mother had made it smooth and creamy like Ginny loved (unlike the twins who loved it with lumps). She found the pastry with the butter crammed in delicious and she felt that small smile come back on her face as she knew she was well fed.

That night she didn't throw up once but she thought before she went to sleep watching Luna sleeping her blonde hair a mess on her pillow, that she would be a lot happier once she had her period and she could stop her friend from filling her head with ridiculous suggestions.

Ginny turned over and firmly shut her eyes. Her last thought before she went to sleep was; her pregnant?

Ridiculous.

* * *

**And there you go, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Next chapter will be posted hopefully sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny boards the Hogwarts Express but her illness continues. Having thrown up in the toilet she meets a girl who she knows by sight and who she doesn't know if she should trust. And Hogwarts is a very different place than she remembers. **


	5. I Three (My Echo, My Shadow And Me)

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I apologise for the lateness but I have recently started a new job and all of my attentions have been on that. I will try and update sooner rather than later but if not then I will wait until Christmas and then post what will hopefully be a double update. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing in this chapter is mine. **

**And yes I know Ginny is still in denial, believe me she knows that something is wrong and her brain is trying to protect her from what is coming. Denial is a very powerful emotion. **

**Also in this chapter I introduce a character and her family that has been ignored. I DO NOT subscribe to Cursed Child so any writings about this character and her family are my own. Also I do not subscribe the idea that all Slytherin's are evil or that they were all Pro-Voldemort, as we have seen with the character of Andromeda they are not all Death Eaters in training and I do believe that some of them broke out of that dungeon in Deathly Hallows and fought for the good guys. So therefore this is my take on a character that has long fascinated me and has yet never (to my mind) been explored in depth.**

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review.**

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Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 5-I Three (My Echo, My Shadow And Me)

Ginny boards the Hogwarts Express but her illness continues. Having thrown up in the toilet she meets a girl she knows by sight and who she doesn't know if she should trust. And Hogwarts is a very different place than she remembered.

* * *

Her mother hugged her so tight Ginny couldn't breathe. Over the course of the last two years or so she had noticed that her mother had hugged them all a little bit tighter. Up until recently she had thought that was just her way of seeing them off. It was Hogwarts, they had had Dumbledore. What could be safer?

This year she understood.

She also saw with wiser eyes the parents hugging their children. She had seen Neville with his grandmother, the older woman's hand firm on her grandson's shoulder and her expression softer than Ginny had ever seen it. Luna had come with them of course but she could see other members from her year and the obvious absences. She noticed both Creevey brothers with their infectiously enthusiastic parents were absent, that the calm quiet presence of Demelza wouldn't be on the train meeting up with them. And of course the gaping hole in her chest whenever she thought about Ron, Hermione and especially Harry.

She understood why her father was here and all of her brothers sans two. She even felt something when Fleur hugged her and she found herself thinking that at least Bill had someone to keep him out of trouble. She noticed Angelina Johnson seeing her own siblings off and she saw George's soft smile when he caught sight of her and wondered just how much she had missed there.

"If you feel the need to come home Ginny we will get you out" her mother promised her eyes red. "Please dear do be careful. With Snape now as Headmaster…" she paused wringing her hands. George spat on the ground even as Fred grabbed him by the elbow. The news that their old enemy was now in charge of their school had not gone down well with any of them but George who had lost an ear had stormed off outside in a rage and it had taken the combined efforts of Fred, their father and Bill to get him inside before nightfall.

Ginny on the other hand had felt a savage kind of pleasure. She wanted nothing more to do than to take care of Snape. Had Snape not taken out Dumbledore then Harry wouldn't be on the run. He'd have been at Hogwarts helping the Headmaster out with whatever it was that they had to do to defeat Voldemort. They would have still been together.

Ginny was going to personally ensure Snape faced a rebellion even if she was the one standing alone.

Umbridge had nothing on this.

Her father hugged Luna and then her.

"If I hear you do anything that puts yourself in danger Ginevra I will drag you home myself" he muttered in her ear. "I expect you to behave with the upmost concern for yourself and other people's safety. It would destroy your mother and break your brother's hearts if anything happened to you. It would destroy me too. We've already had to imagine a life without you once"

Ginny closed her eyes feeling tears burn at them.

"Love you too Dad"

After she had hugged everyone there to see her off she clambered on the train Luna behind her and then they were off.

They took a compartment to themselves when Neville joined them his expression pinched and his mouth taught with some emotion that Ginny knew had everything to do with what the Prophet were calling a miscarriage of wizarding justice.

They had never done that with Sirius she thought wondering what Harry would have made of that. She blinked again. Thinking of Harry hurt too much these days.

Within seconds they were joined by Seamus Finnigan who had hung outside until Luna had told him to come in before the nargles got to him. Without Dean by his side he looked small and lonely and tired. Lavender Brown joined them without a word ten minutes later followed by Parvati who said only once that she was here because she had been forced to be under the new rule.

"It's not that I don't agree with your course of action Neville of course I do. But I worry about my parents. The strain they have been under…I…I worry. My Dad's heart isn't strong he's not as young as he used to be." she said simply.

"I know" Neville said simply. "We all worry Parvati, I worry about Gran though she's told me enough times that she's outlived one war and plans to do the same to this one. Either way I do worry. But we have to protect the younger students first. We have to be able to reach out to other houses and ensure that we stand united. Like Dumbledore always said"

"What about the snakes?" Seamus asked finally as the door opened and without another word Ernie McMillian and Hannah Abbott came in. Hannah flashed Neville a small smile and Ginny watched with amusement as Neville went scarlet around the ears like Ron had always done.

"What about them?" Ernie asked.

"Well, do we go to war with them as well? Or are we focusing all our attention on Snape and the Carrows? Half of them have Death Eaters for parents"

"Half of them don't" Luna pointed out softly. "And half of them don't share those views. Remember Astoria Greengrass Ginny."

Ginny remembered dark hair and dark eyes and a small smile that time when they had been forced to share a desk in Defence Against the Dark Arts and shrugged non-committedly.

"She's anti this whole thing I know that much because she told me once last year in the bathroom. And she's a Slytherin. And her father's never been a big supporter of the Dark Arts has he?"

"That's true" Ernie said nodding. "The Greengrass's have a pure a blood as mine, Neville's and Ginny's and they've been accepted into far better circles but they were outspoken again the torturing of muggle children during the last war. Cyrus Greengrass is a healer, he works for a living unlike the Malfoys. He's hated by them because Daphne isn't in the same circle as Parkinson or Malfoy or Nott. I don't like them but even I know that some Slytherins aren't all evil. If we could get some of them to change sides it would be a huge bonus for us. Imagine the information we could get if Snape's still head of house"

"Merlin's dick have we really come to discussing trusting the Slytherin's?" Seamus asked. "Things must have gotten bad"

Everyone laughed.

Just then Ginny felt her stomach roll and she stood up. Everyone looked at her.

"Bathroom" she said clambering over Seamus's legs and bolting down the corridor her hand over her mouth.

She could feel Luna's stare even before she had reached the toilet.

* * *

She vomited twice.

"Ugh" said a voice behind her.

Speak of the devil Ginny thought wiping her mouth and leaning back against the door of the cubicle she had landed in.

Astoria Greengrass was watching her.

The years had been a lot kinder to Astoria than they had been to Daphne. Both Greengrass girls were pretty, Merlin knew they could knock socks of Parkinson and Bullstrode without trying but when they did try they threw the rest of the girls in their house into shadow. Daphne could steal the attention of the whole room but Astoria could warm a man's heart. Even now her heart shaped face was full of concern. She had soft billows of chocolate coloured hair that fell down to her back and wide brown eyes framed by long lashes painted with mascara. Her lips were a nude brown colour and her eyebrows were sharp and defined, as sharp as her cheekbones. She was wearing muggle clothes in the shape of a long skirt that flowed around her ankles in black and a white blouse with elegant sleeves and boots.

Right now Ginny hated her.

Her head was titled to the side watching Ginny.

"Are you alright Weasley? You've had better days"

Ginny ran a hand through her hair and spat into the toilet.

"Missing Potter?" Astoria said shrewdly applying more lipstick. Ginny hated her.

"Fuck off Greengrass"

"Charming. Well I'd say it's been a pleasure but…we both know I'd be lying."

She turned walked away. Ginny shook her head. Get pally with girls like that? Luna was as loopy as Ritchie and Jack had always said she was.

She forced herself to sit and not let the motion of the train disturb her.

This was going on too long. Even Ginny knew that a bug shouldn't last this long. It had started after the wedding and the wedding was nearly a month ago. She shouldn't be feeling this tired and this sick. Even if she was depressed over everything that was happening…she had known Harry was going to go and she had known deep down that this was going to happen. They had delayed the take over of the Ministry for as long as possible but Ginny had known that it was coming.

She wiped her fingers under her eyes again splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror.

Well shit. She did look terrible.

Of course anyone was going to look terrible next to Astoria-fucking-perfect-Greengrass but that was besides the point. She looked like she was fighting a war with herself.

She reached for her bag slung over her shoulder still for her deodorant. As she brushed her breasts, her hands under her shirt to spray she felt herself wince. Her body was now hurting as well as her mind.

Fantastic.

Maybe she was going mad.

Well. It wasn't like it was the first time she had thought that.

* * *

The speech at Hogwarts wasn't interesting. Neville payed attention to everything, Ginny sat next to him, Seamus on the other side of her zoned out. Snape couldn't justify what everyone knew and she had known rules like no Quidditch and no out of bounds activities and everything being cleared by a teacher was compulsory. She was already taking Muggle Studies so that wasn't an added burden to her timetable. If she was being honest with herself all she wanted to do was to sleep. She wanted to curl under the covers and sleep away everything. She could hardly keep her eyes open.

Unusually the slab of chocolate cake that she usually had at desert repulsed her. She noticed that the treacle tart that Harry always had wasn't on the menu tonight and she had to bit down a bubble of hysterical laughter that threatened to escape. As if taking Harry's desert of the menu could take away Harry's presence in the Great Hall of Hogwarts.

Instead she ate a bowl of vanilla ice cream and didn't say anything to anyone the whole evening.

Neville kept trying to talk to her but all Ginny wanted was to go to the bathroom and go to bed.

"Neville" she said as they stood in the corridors. "I didn't hear a damn word of that speech. We can talk tomorrow. Or the weekend. See how the land lies"

_Anytime but now. _

Neville nodded and patted her on her arm thinking that it was love no doubt making her sick. He had no idea, Ginny supposed how true he was. She was missing Harry, she was missing home, she was missing the world she had grown up in and she was convinced that there was something wrong with her. She didn't want to think about anything other than letting the dark whole pulling at her drag her under.

She thought once as she unpacked yawning every so often about what Luna had said about pregnancy. She checked her diary. This weekend she was due to start her period. Then if the sickness had not abated she would write to her mother and tell her what was going on and see if she knew what it was. It wasn't pregnancy. She had been careful, she had been careful to the last, even Hermione had not found fault in her carefulness. There were other reasons for this and Ginny was going to cling to those before she thought of anything else.

Her period would start soon.

Ginny never thought she would be looking forwards to that.

The dormitory of Hogwarts for the girls gave them two bathrooms. Ginny had been sharing her room with four girls who went by the names of Pearl Radcliffe (who had been a muggleborn and was therefore not here), Sofia Wilson (whose parents had pulled her out last year and who was not back) and another girl Natalie Henderson who had lost her mother and father over the summer to a Death Eater attack. Natalie wasn't here either despite being pure-blood. Her parents had, had very pro Dumbledore sympathies. Natalie had been a good friend. For the first time in her life she was alone.

She went to the bathroom stripping naked as she went. She showered and then shivering climbed out. The mirror in the bathroom was full across the wall showing her body right from her head to her stomach and there was something in the way that she looked that had Ginny dropping her towel and checking herself out in the mirror like she had done when she was a teenager and thrilled at the thought of becoming a woman and convinced that if she developed a chest Harry might see her as more than his brother's little sister.

Merlin she had been stupid then hadn't she?

She still had her clear skin her shoulders dotted with freckles. Her stomach was still flat but was it her or was it a little bit harder than it had been before? Like the muscles were tightening? She had always been small in the chest department but was it her or was she getting a bit bigger? Actually that might be the case. She shifted the towel back up and winced again as they came into contact with the fabric.

Surely growing pains had to be over now?

She flicked the light off and went to sleep the second her head hit the pillow her old jumper that she slept in warm and comfortable. Her calendar which was on the bed fell off in a heap and Ginny slept on not caring.

Had she been looking, had she been really looking she would have realised that her period in the month of August had been scheduled for the week where her mother had told her that she didn't have to go to school and that she had been unable to keep beef down. Had she been looking she would have realised that she had missed that period completely.

She would have been forced to acknowledge that for a month she had been clean and that perhaps might have led to the revelation that Ginny didn't know was coming but was slowly beginning to realise she couldn't deny.

But she didn't and so Ginny slept on and continued to (unknowingly perhaps) live in that kingdom called Denial where she dreamt of warm air, trees, green eyes and a crooked smile and a summer that had seemed to last forever.

* * *

**And hopefully I will update the next chapter sooner rather than later. Please enjoy this one. **

**Next Chapter-As Dumbledore's Army begins to gather, Ginny must come to the realisation that she is not sick and the realisation that perhaps, ****_just perhaps_****, it might be something else. **


	6. Distress

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I apologise for the lateness but hopefully there will be another chapter coming after this one and then another one in the New Year to make up for it. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is here. **

**And Yeah! We are here, Ginny has finally left the Kingdom of Denial. **

**Anything to do with Hogsmeade and the villages that surround it and how far students went to get muggle stuff (somehow I don't see Hermione getting tampons sent through owl post while Umbridge was reading the mail) is entirely my own plot device. **

**And let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 6-Distress

As Dumbledore's Army begins to gather, Ginny must come to the realisation that she is not sick and the realisation that perhaps, _perhaps, _it might just be something else that is plaguing her.

* * *

The first week of her sixth year of Hogwarts saw Ginny back to throwing up sporadically each day. Neville who when confronted by her ducking into the toilet, told Seamus who remarked sagely that it was _'love sickness and that women were easily upset in wartime'_. Lavender rolled her eyes so hard that Ginny thought they were going to get stuck back in her head and recommended that Ginny needed company and a hot bath and said that if she wanted to spend the night in Hermione's old bed she was more than welcome. Ginny took that to mean that Parvati and Lavender were on their own and not liking it. They missed the two muggleborns Fay and Hermione and more to the point Ginny was willing to bet that they had now come to realise just how much they had relied upon Hermione and how much they worried about her.

Instead she tried to concentrate on the immense amount of homework that she had been given as well as the new rules that were constantly in place.

It soon became clear that Defence Against the Dark Arts and Muggle Studies were to promote Death Eater propaganda. Neville in the first lesson with the female Carrow (and as Luna said as they walked to class that was being generous) got a taste of some sort of slashing curse when he asked how much Muggle blood they had. He was remarkably chipper about it though. Ginny refused point blank to go to Defence Against the Dark Arts claiming that she was sick, she dragged Luna into the bathroom with her and they shared a tiny cubicle sitting on the toilet seat one at a time and pretending that the world that they had grown up in was not falling around their ears.

They used the Muffliato Spell that Hermione with a bitter twist to her mouth had taught them and Ginny sat crossed legged on the lid of the toilet as Luna sat on the floor doing a quiz from the Quibbler which was emblazoned with Harry's face. It had been a photograph taken she suspected without him knowing as he didn't look unhappy. She kept trying to pretend she didn't see it or the headline that was etched on the front page in big purple letters proclaiming Harry's innocence to everyone. But she couldn't deny that it was good that someone was sticking by him. Wherever Harry was she hoped he knew that people believed in him and were thinking of him. Ginny wondered if it would make a damn bit of difference to him. She hoped so anyway.

"You know" Luna said conversationally. "The Nargles surrounding you haven't gone away. Your aura is all over the show. Are you sure that nothing is wrong?"

Ginny dithered. She was sure something was wrong. She was also very sure she didn't want to tell Luna what her symptoms were until she was very sure. She was still clinging to the hope that come the end of the week she would be trying to find tampons and then everything could slow down again and she could spend her time on finding ways to shield the new students from the wrath of the Carrows.

She changed the subject to this wondering aloud how they were going to ensure that the younger students who had never known about Dumbledore's Army knew to come to them. Ginny would never ask them to help them in their fight but she did wonder if they should begin teaching them the basic defensive spells. Shield Charms were perhaps the greatest source of protection that they could have but when they had learnt it in Charms, Ginny had struggled for weeks to get it right. There was no way any eleven or twelve year olds were every going to build their magical strength in time to start learning.

Luna thankfully didn't bring up the conversation again and instead she put down the copy of her magazine and the two of them instead had a very lively discussion about weather or not they should try the more practical side of the DA again when the bell rang.

Careful not to be seen in the corridor they scuttered back to their various common rooms Luna's dire warnings about how they didn't have Harry's cloak or his map this time ringing in her ears even as she ducked into the portrait hole, got changed and then found the comfiest armchair she could find.

Of course, Neville was waiting to carry on their conversation from the previous night. His cheek was mended now though Ginny knew the bruise wouldn't fade away as if by magic, even if the cut did. He seemed animated by the fact that he was making a difference. All Ginny wanted to do was help him and yet she wasn't sure if she could. Because she had begun to think late at night, without the chatter of the girls that she shared her dorm room with, about what it was that was making her feel tired and moody, that was making her throw up, that was making her crave fudge and hating beef, that was making her boobs so tender that she couldn't put on a damn bra without wincing. And then there was the crying that came in the night when she woke up and knew her face was going to be stiff with dried tears.

Contrary to popular belief Ginny was not stupid.

There was one other reason why she could be feeling all of these symptoms.

* * *

Friday was the day her period was due to start.

She spent the entire day on tender hooks waiting for that feeling that came when you knew you had to excuse yourself to the bathroom with your bag. She had been waiting for it. This was not her first time after all and she knew that nine times out of ten her body worked like clockwork and reacted on time. She knew this…and she knew that she would laugh herself stupid over this one night when she was reaching for her box of tampons in the empty bathroom that she had once shared with four other girls.

And yet…

And yet…

Nothing was coming.

There was no cramping like she usual got, no deep bone coldness that seemed to permeate her (even in July and had nothing to do with the new addition of Dementor's stalking the castle entrances), nothing other than the sickness, the sleeping and the crying, the aversion to food, the tenderness, the need to go to the bathroom more and then as Friday rolled around Ginny was forced to admit to herself that as she watched Neville and Seamus slip out of the common room determined to leave a message to anyone unsure of weather or not there was a safe place for them in this school, that she had missed her period.

She told herself that she wasn't going to sleep that night. It was a lie, she was asleep the second her head hit the pillow and she dreamt that night of Harry. Well, there was nothing new in that, she always dreamed of Harry. But this dream…well…this dream was different. This dream woke her up.

It wasn't the dream of Harry dying and the face of the man she had never seen though she had heard was beyond terrifying, looming over him. it was not the dream of him broken…as broken as Neville's parents as Bellatrix Lestrange waved her wand over his broken body. No…no….this dream was different to all the other ones gone before.

This dream was of her and Harry, in her old bedroom at the Burrow, with the covers wrapped around them. Half asleep, half awake it was like she could feel everything even down to the cotton sheets that she had, the smell of the laundry soap that her mother used, the warmth of the silky fabric at the top of her duvet that was tickling her under her chin.

Her back was to Harry's chest and she could feel his mouth somewhere near his hair. They had curled up together like this sometimes during those stolen hours in the grounds but she had always felt the ridge of his glasses digging into the back of her head. There had never been a moment where she had been this close to him, this intimate…well apart from…well…

Harry throughout all of those months at Hogwarts had always been the perfect gentleman. Ginny suspected that was more to do with the fact that he had to go back to the Dormitory and look Ron in the eye after he'd had a lapful of her but she had never questioned it believing as naively as she had before Dumbledore's death, that they would have more time. She had never really believed that he would not hunt down Voldemort, she knew him. she knew who Harry was and she knew she could have never stopped him from going to the wizard that had marked him for death all those years ago and bringing the fight to him.

However Ginny had always thought that she would be fighting with him, side by side for what was right and what was good. After all…Harry's parents had done that hadn't they? Regardless of how that story had ended they had fought side by side through the good times and the bad trusting each other to be there when they needed it. Her own parents had done that time and time again, not with the big things like the war but with the day-to-day things that had come with raising seven children on the smallest budget imaginable. The kind of day to day domestication that came from the love and the respect that she had seen day to day. That had been the normal part of her growing up. And even now her parents were fighting.

She rolled over in her bed but the dream Ginny from a dream, which was so violently vivid was still playing out beneath her eyelids didn't. She continued to lie there as Harry's hands which had been around her chest drifted downwards to her stomach.

_Her hard round…pregnant stomach. _

It was then that Ginny woke up with a start.

She wasn't surprised to find that she was crying, tears drying on her face. She sat up as if she was trying to figure out what part of herself was injured. It was then that she felt it.

She made it to the toilet just in time.

Of course most of the vomit landed in her hair.

She turned on the shower stripping and found that she was shuddering as if she had just come out of the Chamber of Secrets again and the reality of what had happened had just come crashing down upon her.

She shivered as the warm water washed over her. She methodically reached for her strawberry shampoo and tried to wash her hair more than once making sure that it was completely clean. Her hands with her sponge brushed her chest again and she winced. They moved to her stomach without violation and she stopped eyes unseeing unsure of what she was feeling.

She had been sick, she had been sore, tender, she was late by one month, maybe more. She had been having strange dreams, her emotions were all over the show and she could eat some foods in excess and yet would shy away from others as if they were the plague.

And a month and a half ago she had slept with Harry Potter.

Who was now the most wanted man in the Wizarding World.

Had the situation not been so terrible she would have laughed. As it was she forced the hysteria down and tried to concentrate going through the motions of stepping out of the shower and getting dressed. Smearing body lotion (something she had learnt from Hermione who had been insistent on a smooth skin before bed) all over her she felt her body. There was no sign of a bump showing but now the veil was down and she was seriously thinking of it she realised her skin did feel a little harder, a little tighter, a little more defined. And it wasn't like she worked out.

She used some of her Instant Drying Hair Potion to get her red hair to dry and then ran her Instant-Sleek-Hair-Straightening Potion-Gel through it so the curls she had inherited from her mother straightened themselves out instantly.

She climbed back into bed but sat up reaching for her calendar.

Ginny flipped to August and counted. Three times.

She was nearly two months late.

She flung the book over onto another bed and started to walk up and down the small room.

She wasn't stupid. There was only one thing that could mean all of those symptoms.

Ginny stopped by the window. There was a big creamy moon outside and she noted that Remus would probably be in the first flood of his transformation. Absent minded she wondered weather or not he and Tonks had gotten their shit together.

She bit her lip. She had to know for sure. How she was going to do that she had no idea. Their mail was being checked so she couldn't order the potion, it was more than her life's worth to ask her mother and Hogsmeade was too regulated now. And then even if she trusted her own potion brewing abilities (and after this she most certainly did not) she wasn't sure she could get the ingredients without arising suspicion. Unless she walked the extra twenty five minutes to the muggle town that was near the village and bought a test there. She knew enough about muggle studies to know that much.

She crawled back into bed her hands finding her stomach again.

She knew what this was. She _knew_. And in the dark she said it to herself in her mind not trusting herself to say it out loud without screaming or crying.

She was pregnant.

* * *

**Next Chapter-Neville comes into his own as a leader. The first Hogsmeade weekend comes around. Ginny gains a new perspective on life. Ginny manages to get what she needs and faces the most agonising wait of her life.**

**Enjoy. **


	7. Were Not Friends

**Hi, so here is another chapter, and this is the chapter I believe most of you have been waiting for. I will try to get another chapter out but in case I don't I hope you enjoy this one. As I have said before I don't subscribe to the views that all Slytherins are evil and therefore I had so much fun giving Astoria Greengrass a point of view. If you are interested I am thinking of writing a story about the Slytherins and the decisions to support or declare against the war. Either way let me know what you think about this idea. **

**Also I totally think that McGonagall wouldn't have given a shit about house divisions and would have made her pupils sit next to each other regardless of what house they were in because while she had a (friendly?) rivalry with Snape she would have expected her pupils to be above this...yeah. **

**Also I do think that there was a muggle village near Hogsmeade if i am wrong with that then I apologise but i do not believe that Hermione for example would have ordered tampons via owl post if she had thought that Umbridge was opening her mail (never mind the Ministry or the Death Eaters) so therefore that's where this plot device comes from. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And if I don't get a chance to say it may I wish each and everyone of you a very Merry Christmas, and a happy and safe 2020. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 7-Were Not Friends.

Neville comes into his own as a leader. The First Hogsmeade weekend comes around. Ginny gains a new perspective on life. Ginny manages to get what she needs and then faces the most agonising wait of her life.

* * *

The next morning Ginny woke to the most dreadful headache she had ever encountered. She thought about simply bunking off school and spending the day in bed but she couldn't trust anyone not to come looking for her weather it be the Carrows or McGonagall. Either way Ginny didn't need the hassle. She forced herself down to breakfast taking in with wide eyes and a small smile that temporarily drove everything out of her mind, the words splattered on the walls in red ink.

_Dumbledore's Army Still Recruiting. _

Filch she noticed wasn't there. Usually whenever something like this happened (and Ginny as the sister of Fred and George knew that this kind of thing happened more than once) he was in a fury with a cloth and a bucket of soap water but she noticed with wry amusement that he was nowhere to be seen. She had to admit that it was a shock and yet not a shock. Umbridge had been a key ally of Filch but while Umbridge was as foul as the Death Eaters she was not one of them and it seemed that finally Filch had hit his limit.

Of course where squibs fit in on the Death Eater list of people who didn't deserve to live Ginny didn't know.

She moved to the breakfast table in silence least someone catch her staring and she helped herself to her eggs in silence. Conversation around the breakfast table was very thin these days and it was only the second week here. Neville had not come down yet, neither had Seamus, considering (from what she was listening to) most of the paint was plastered around various points of the castle it looked like they had spent most of the night sneaking around making sure that the castle was covered in slogans that proved that they were not forgotten, that Snape and the Carrows knew that there was an underground resistance to their rule.

Had she not got something else, something perhaps bigger than all of this combined to worry about Ginny would have been impressed and more than a little excited to do her bit. As it was right now she could barely force down her eggs and mushrooms something which made her clamp down on her bottom lip because up until recently she had never liked the Hogwarts breakfast mushrooms as she had claimed that they were always swimming in oil.

At least the…no…no she was not going to finish that sentence even in her head.

_(At least the baby liked eggs) _

She forced herself to eat another mouthful and then decided to cover the offending yellow eggs in ketchup.

She drank her tea in silence but she noticed as she sat and ate alone (after all everyone she used to have breakfast with was gone) she noticed that Draco Malfoy was back. Ginny felt her teeth gnash together. She had not thought to even look for him having thought that being a Death Eater would have meant that he was dropping out of school. She had to admit that she was more than a little surprised Narcissa Malfoy was letting her precious only child out of her sight but then again she supposed much like her own mother she had no choice in the matter.

Malfoy she noticed was looking rather pale and thin. He looked just as grey and as tired and as lonely as he had done last year when only Harry had thought that was odd. The confident swagger was gone, perhaps it would never return. But the look on his face even as he sat between Crabbe and Goyle (and yet was still slightly isolated from the rest of his classmates even the ones who were in his inner circle) told Ginny that the glory of being in service to Lord Voldemort was not a joyful experience as Draco Malfoy had been led to believe.

Good she thought viciously. She dropped her eyes back to her tea and wondered if Hogwarts did a decaf version? Or was that a myth.

She shook her head her red hair shifting slightly. Why was she thinking, thoughts like this when she didn't even know it for a fact?

Her eyes swept down the rest of the table of Slytherins. She noticed that Nott wasn't there though she wasn't surprised. She had heard rumours that he and his father were not on speaking terms. Perhaps he had ran rather than go back to Hogwarts where upon his seventeenth birthday he would be forced to take the Dark Mark? Parkinson was sat in silence picking at her plate, Bullstrode beside her laughing and chatting away as if this was a dream come true for her, an average day, another day where the snakes ruled supreme. However what she did notice was that the Greengrass sisters, Daphne and Astoria were deep in conversation with Zabini who looked worried. His arm was around Daphne's shoulder (since when had those two been a thing?) and they both seemed to be talking to Astoria who had her hair knotted on top of her head and who seemed to be gesticulating wildly.

How that woman still looked that good when Ginny felt as bad as she did was a mystery. Honestly how did she get her eyeliner that perfect?

For a second Astoria reaching for the toast with a roll of her perfectly lined eyes (bitch) caught Ginny staring at her. Her expression wasn't filled with animosity or smugness, in fact she seemed like she was on the edge of doing something but before she could her sister tugged at the end of her sleeve and forced her attention back onto her.

Ginny watched for another second and then turned back to her plate. Her appetite had increased somewhat she thought as she helped herself to another spoonful of scrambled eggs—she refused to allow herself to think about what that meant.

Snape was absent from the table Ginny noticed as she picked up her bag. Transfiguration was her first lesson and she headed along to the classroom hoping she would get a chance to speak to Neville who she knew had Charms but he was not there. She sat down and noticed that Astoria Greengrass and her were sharing a table this year. McGonagall had no issue with pairing students from other houses and a glare from the woman at best ensured that they got along—or at least didn't attempt to change the other into a small turtle.

* * *

Astoria sat down next to her reaching for her parchment, quill and ink and then pulling out a book. A muggle book.

"Don't look at me like that Weasley" she drawled without looking up. "I believe in an education outside of these walls"

"How do you sleep in your dormitory at night?" Ginny asked without meaning too. "Reading muggle books?"

"I have a rather good right hook, plus I know how to cast an effective acne-inducement curse, not as good as Granger's on Edgecomb but close enough. Besides sometimes I charm the covers." She dithered a little as if she was thinking very hard about weather or not she wanted to say what she was thinking or what she knew. Ginny waited.

"Weasley, remain perfectly calm ok. You need to know something, I got it from Daph who got it from Blaize who got it from his mother whose either sleeping with someone high up the food chain or at least can blackmail the shit out of them. Two days after we arrived Harry Potter broke into the Ministry of Magic with two accomplices one they identified as Hermione Granger"

Ginny felt the world shift. She threw her thumb into her mouth biting down so hard she knew she would have teeth marks. Astoria turned a page.

"I assume" she continued as if she had not rocked Ginny's world apart. "That the other was your brother but they don't know that. All they know is that he broke in attacked Umbridge, stole something and then disapperated freeing thirty muggle borns in the process"

"They didn't catch him?" Ginny forced her throat to work. Astoria put down her book and shot Ginny a rather amused look.

"Of course they didn't. Merlin's whore's dripping cunt Ginny had they caught him it would be all over the paper. He's the most wanted man in the world right now. If they could they'd have the Muggles looking for him like they did with Sirius Black."

Perhaps it was the language or the knowledge that Harry had gotten away but it shocked Ginny back into her senses. She ran a hand though her hair wincing as she caught a knot. She was going to kill Harry when she next saw him.

If she next saw him.

(She refused to believe that)

"Greengrass why are you telling me this?"

Astoria Greengrass seemed to consider this for a long moment. Ginny found she rather wanted to know the answer.

"Weasley"—and Ginny noticed the return of her surname.

"Have you and Longbottom and Lovegood and Potter even ever considered the possibility that not all of use who were green and silver are the same? That you can be cunning without being evil? That just because _He _came from our house all most of _His _followers did doesn't mean we all dream of wearing the Dark Mark? I don't subscribe to You-Know-Who's view Weasley I never have. My father never has, he actually works for a living, my mother never has—she used to take us to the Muggle coffee shop when we came home for a latte and a cake. Daphne's make up is from a muggle brand, we know muggle money, we snuck in cider and gin into our house and we eat take out pizza. Were as much of a blood traitor family as you are, the only problem is we don't like to broadcast it because we want to stand out"

"Is that what you think we do?" Ginny asked, she was intrigued despite herself.

"Yes" Astoria said simply. "Weasley I was put in Slytherin because I am cunning, and I am smart, and I do have ambition, I want a husband who loves me and a nice house and I want a lifestyle where I can choose what I do for a living and not be chained to a job just so I can meet the bills. I want to throw parties and have a big library and I want pretty robes to wear, I'm not ashamed that I want that, put believe it or not I don't want to live like that if it includes living off the deaths of innocent people. Think about that before you judge me again wont you?"

Ginny opened her mouth and then shut it again. She would not, she could not concede the point which was she could see where Astoria was coming from. She too had her pride.

Of course she also had something else now.

"You know" Astoria said as Ginny's stomach gave a roll again. "In another life Weasley you and I could have been friends."

Ginny let out a laugh that caused Colin Creevey to look at her as if she had grown two heads.

"You and I Greengrass are not friends, were never friends, will never be friends"

Greengrass smiled. Her arrogance and confidence were shocking, her words terribly true.

Ginny would refuse to admit it but she had left her stunned into silence for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

Two weeks later Neville championed his first DA meeting in the Room of Requirement.

"The first thing we have to do" Lavender said as Neville opened up the floor to questions. "Is protect the younger students"

Ginny agreed as did many others. Two first year students had been tortured by Crabbe this week for calling Voldemort, Voldemort had shaken them all including the staff.

"I also think" Neville said. "We should continue with training. Now meeting here is too risky, so we should do it by individual common rooms. Ginny, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati and myself can start with the Gryffindor's, Luna, Cho, Anthony, Terry, Michael, if you can start with the Ravenclaws and Ernie, Hannah and Susan can help the Hufflepuffs—"

"What about the Slytherin's?" Ginny asked.

There was an appalled pause.

"Look" she said into the silence. "Neville you and I both know that not all of them subscribe to Death Eater views, if we can get a spy in their camp…if we can get a layout of what Crabbe and Goyle or even Malfoy are planning it's a major bonus for us and we all know it. Besides there are first years in that house too. The Carrows might say they might not want to spill too much pure blood but they will if they think someone's put a toe out of line"

Neville sighed.

"Let me think about it" he said finally. "I get it Ginny I do but…let me think on it. Let's all of us think on it"

"Neville if they start cursing their own then we have to do something" Lavender said sharply. Cho sat on the edge of her chair nodded furiously and said in her Scottish accent. "Neville I wont sit by and free a tortured Ravenclaw and not free a Slytherin if he or she is also there. It's cruel to ask us to ignore that, we become the thing were fighting against"

There was another pregnant pause.

"Alright" Neville said slowly. "We can cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now we need to start training. Ginny…do you know someone you can ask? From Slytherin"

Ginny nodded. She didn't trust herself to say more.

"The first Hogsmeade weekend is next week" Terry said into the silence. "We should be able to gather any supplies we need by then, I for one think we should go on the offensive. But once Snape and the Carrows realise that it's us there going to take steps to ban us from gaining information or getting supplies"

There was another silence.

Ginny bit her lip. It was twenty five minutes to the nearest village outside Hogsmeade.

It was her only shot.

Either way, she needed to know.

* * *

Hogsmeade was stunning, it always was whatever weather. Ginny had claimed she needed to go the muggle village to get sanitary items—the way she had said it had, had Neville and Seamus darting through the door of the Three Broomsticks with the promise to meet her there afterwards. Luna was in need of a new quill. Ginny was quite alone.

She got the pregnancy tests and paid for it with muggle money. She imagined if it wasn't for the situation that they were in her father would have been proud.

She pocketed the tests and walked into the Three Broomsticks her head held high and her smile unshaken.

* * *

That night she sat in her room alone in front of the stove a blanket around her, the test on the top of the heated grate. She had gotten three as she believed (and Hermione had once said these things were not accurate) that she needed to be sure and then she had drank enough butterbeer to make herself sick.

She stared into the fire feeling the heat and yet at the same time feeling nothing. She felt nothing.

Her wand which she had set as a timer timed. Ginny took a deep breath and looked at the first test.

She looked at the second.

She looked at the third.

She then burst into tears.

There was no mistaking the results. No hiding behind muggles vs magic. No pretending anymore. In some way she had known this was coming.

It didn't make it any easier.

Ginny Weasley was pregnant.

Pregnant with Harry Potter's baby.

Ginny Weasley was pregnant.

There were no words to describe how she was feeling.

Instead she just gave into her emotions and cried.

* * *

**And there you are, I hope you enjoy and I will endeavour to publish a new chapter soon. **

**Next Chapter-As the longest night of her life continues, Ginny Weasley must decide what is best, what is right and what is easy verses what she wants. The aftermath of this decision will define her life after all. **


	8. Fear And Loathing

**Hi, so here is another chapter, and the update I promised before New Years, I am so happy I got this out in time! **

**I want to stress that I have written reasons for Ginny hiding her pregnancy in this chapter, I know for some of you, you might think this is strange but I wanted to channel the mind of a sixteen year old girl who is carrying the most wanted baby in the world right now. And for the purpose of this story it works to keep it a secret, weather or not she can truly keep it a secret from everyone is yet to be seen. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 8-Fear And Loathing

As the longest night of her life continues, Ginny Weasley must decide what is best, what is right, what is easy verses what she wants. The aftermath of her decision will define not just her life after all.

* * *

How long she stared at nothing crying like she had just come out of the Chamber of Secrets Ginny didn't know. She couldn't remember much other than at some point her tears had to have stopped. She wiped her face feeling the stiffness and then walking as if in some sort of dream she reached for the blanket on her bed and wrapped it around herself feeling the cold chill at bay—a cold chill that she suspected had nothing to do with the way the weather was slowly turning.

Finally she felt her limbs unfreeze. The fire in the little stove was almost out and she threw another log or two onto it so that the sparks ignited and her face was warm again.

Pregnant.

Pregnant at sixteen. With Harry Potter's baby.

Merlin's right testicle.

It wasn't like pregnancy was an unusual thing at Hogwarts, this was a school filled with teenagers with teenage hormones and teenage mistakes. It happened. Ginny knew that there had been a girl in Seventh Year last year who had left three months gone, she had known several girls (herself included) who would come back at one, two in the morning their hair mused and bruises on their neck, smelling of an aftershave that was most certainly not there's. Her own mother had told stories of how she and her father had gone for 'Moonlight Walks', Harry's parents had been twenty when they had gotten pregnant, nineteen when they were married, Fleur was only twenty now. The world had gone to shit and she could remember her mother telling her and Hermione when they had been gossiping about Fleur that she was worried it was the world they were in that was making them rush into things—after all why wait for the next day if the next day wasn't coming?

She had thought then that she would never be in that situation, that she would not marry or make decisions because the world was crashing down around them and she had mocked Fleur in her head for living. Ginny had been so wrong then. She had been so wrong now. She had been naïve and childish and she had not seen the end that year that was in sight. She had not seen Dumbledore dying and Harry shouldering his destiny alone. And she had done the exact thing her mother had warned her about because a part of her—despite how much she loved Harry with everything she had and ever would—had slept with him because she had known in the morning there was a good chance that he wouldn't be there.

She had been right then too.

That had been part of the reason why she had decided to sleep with Harry in the first place. She had loved him, she still did love him but a part of her had known that there was a very good chance that she wouldn't see him again. She had known that and she had still wanted to be with him in every way possible. Merlin, she had been so naïve and so childish, at fifteen she had thought herself so grown up and now as she stood in the dormitory the weight of another life on her shoulders could she understand why her parents had always insisted she was too young to join up.

How…how had Mad-Eye Moody, the consummate planner and survivor forget that his boomslang skin was out of date? Seven of her friends and family had transformed using a potion that he would have needed boomslang to do it. How had he let something like this slip? Ok he had died but she knew Mad-Eye, he had not gone into that battle thinking that would be his last.

And then there was Hermione. She had told Hermione that she had checked her brewing and Hermione had been the one to point out that she might have made a mistake. And still Ginny had not seen it. Through the vomiting and the mood swings, the strange food, the dreams and the crying, the disinterest and the exhaustion…she had not seen it.

She wrapped her blanket a little tighter around her and tried to think…she needed to think about what to do…this was the most important, defining decision of her life. She needed time to think about this. But time was not something she had.

Ginny stood up throwing back the blanket and pacing around her room her feet bare on the tiles.

There was the one option that would make sense she thought. The one option that was the best for everyone involved and that was to go to a clinic in Diagon Ally and take care of the baby. Abortion was something that existed in the Wizarding World but it wasn't popular. Of course she knew that there was a muggle side to that world but she wasn't sure how it operated…but even she could see the pros to this option. The baby she was carrying was the child of the most wanted man in the Wizarding World who had just broken out of the Ministry, it's family was the best blood traitor family out there. The child if discovered would be used as a hostage, Ginny would be used as a hostage, and there was only so long she could hide pregnancy. Even if she managed to have this child and go into hiding that would put her whole family at risk…

But yet…

But yet…

She didn't want to do that. Selfish as it was she didn't want to lose Harry's baby. She had never thought of motherhood as something that she had ever wanted but now she was confronted with the possibility of it (and with the man that she loved as the father) then she couldn't take her mind of it. A baby. A baby with her red hair and Harry's green eyes or her brown eyes and Harry's dark hair that never laid flat. That would love Quidditch and making trouble and keep her on her toes and that she would love regardless of all the times she would want to pull her hair out. Her baby…Harry's baby…her baby with Harry. There was a pause where she thought about that and then she had to turn around and walk across the whole of the room again running a hand through her hair and tugging at the strands in agitation.

She didn't want to get rid of this baby.

So that left the option of keeping it.

And that opened a whole other door.

If she kept the baby then there was two options, one she could raise it in hiding, run away from the fight and let Neville and Luna take on the mantle of Harry's legacy. She could raise Harry's baby far away—she could hope against hope that France with Fleur's family would be safe, or she could go somewhere else in Europe or even America, and hope that Voldemort did not find her there—though she suspected that if Voldemort ever got wind of her baby then he would be after her regardless of what country she would be in.

And then there was the second option which was to raise the baby and keep him hidden but stay and fight for as long as she could. It was nearly October now and she had not noticed anything other than a tightening of her stomach. If her bump was small then perhaps she could get to Easter without having to declare anything. She could keep this secret, lay down the groundwork for Dumbledore's Army and then go into hiding when she had to. Or give the baby to her mother or Fleur's parents or someone…and go back to fight.

But she wasn't sure if she could do that either.

And the problem was she was utterly alone in this. She had no idea what she was doing

She knew if she told her mother her mother would be there for her no issue. She knew that, she loved that. But Ginny remembered her mother when she had last seen her. she remembered the look on her face as she had waved goodbye. She had seen the lines and the streak of grey in the long red hair and the weight that was dropping off her and the worry. She knew her mother considered Harry and Hermione to be her adopted children, her mother couldn't stop loving anyone really. Her baby boy was on the run with her other son and daughter, Percy wasn't speaking to them, Bill had been ravaged by a werewolf, George had lost an ear and she had gone back to Hogwarts under the 'care' of the man who had killed Albus Dumbledore. She forced herself to breathe again. She couldn't ask her mother to take on more strain. Her Dad would insist she come home and she couldn't have that. Two of the Weasley's couldn't come down with Spattergroit.

And…and Ginny loved her parents, she loved them but the fact was they did not deserve to worry more than they had to. She could not put more on their plate than she had too. She loved them to much for that. She loved them enough to not want their lives to change because she had been knocked up with the saviour's child.

So what did she do? Did she run, did she hide, did she put her and her baby in danger and stay and fight for as long as possible? Did she involve her parents with this deadly secret and put more fuel on the fire or did she handle this herself? After all she had gotten herself into this, it had been her idea after all. Harry had…well…Harry had given her an out. Actually throughout the course of their relationship Harry had given her several outs, it was always her moving forwards, pushing forwards, running towards the danger because she had always wanted to be with him.

But that didn't change the situation she was in. she was pregnant.

So what did she do?

Ginny knew what she was going to do.

She was not going to get rid of this baby, or send it into hiding. She would keep it, raise it, love it and when Harry came back (and she refused to believe if) then she would show him and they would live with their family. She was confident in him and confident enough in his love for her, she knew that he would stay for her and be with her—a child was not going to change that.

When the time would come she would go into hiding with her baby. Ginny was not stupid she had long ago reconciled herself to the knowledge that she was not going to finish Hogwarts, she knew that she was not going to graduate—her family was the biggest bunch of blood traitors around, her brother had been the best friend of Undesirable Number 1, already they were being watched it was only a matter of time before they came for the Weasley family and all Ginny had to do was wait until then. If she left now…if she went into hiding now…did she not make the situation worse for her family? Did she not add more suspicion to them? Did she not speed up the process of going into hiding? Did she not take away the freedom they were already on borrowed time with?

Ginny couldn't do that to them. Bill and Fleur deserved their first Christmas in their own home, Charlie deserved to come and go as he pleased, the twins had a business they had fought so hard to get, even Percy deserved to live his life he chose to protect himself. And…and if Harry or Ron got wind of this well…Ginny knew that if Harry got wind of this he would be back in Hogwarts like a shot and Ron would no doubt be bringing up the rear regardless of how dangerous it was for them.

Her hand found her stomach and she paused looking down at her still flat belly.

A baby.

Wow.

Could she get involved in Dumbledore's Army? Ginny knew Neville, knew the world that he had grown up in and the way Augusta Longbottom had raised him. If word got out Neville would never let her fight. Seamus and Luna would have combined fits. That was before the rest of the Army got wind of it. She couldn't imagine sitting with her belly growing bigger and feeling more and more excluded regardless of what was best for her baby. She wasn't that kind of girl, besides Neville would probably write to her mother himself and tell her.

So that left hiding it for as long as she could. If she could get four of five months until the deception was exposed (and make sure she was at home when it did) then she could lay down the groundwork for her rebellion. She could make sure Dumbledore's Army got their message across, she could utilise the skills that she had as a powerful figurehead. She could make a stand now and then when the time came tell her baby that she had done her bit for the free world that she wanted so much for it.

Ginny had no doubt that this plan—which was all that she had right now—would no doubt come crashing down around her when someone looked at it hard enough but she was so tired and so emotional that she couldn't keep her eyes open.

She climbed into bed her hands finding her stomach again. It was hard to believe that there was a baby inside her growing away. Right now she didn't feel anything.

As she lay there Ginny wondered if what she was doing was the right thing, if she could do it at all and then absurdly she realised that the previous war had took away the one person who she thought might have understood her dilemma between wanting something so bad and knowing it was the worst time in the world to get it.

She fell asleep her hands still splayed on her belly and wishing that she could talk to Lily Potter.

* * *

**And I hope you all enjoy, I wish all of you a very wonderful and happy 2020. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny must deflect her secret from the people she loves and the people she hates, Dumbledore's Army completes another raid. Astoria Greengrass makes a choice. **


	9. Lessons Learned

**Hi, so here was anther chapter, I hope you all enjoy this one as the plot slowly thickens again more Astoria action here as well. **

**I am back at work soon so updates might be a bit slower so please keep that in mind. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 9-Lessons Learned.

Ginny must deflect her secret for as long as possible from the people she loves and the people she hates. Dumbledore's Army completes another raid. Astoria Greengrass makes a choice.

* * *

When she woke up it took Ginny a moment in the morning to figure out just why she was tired. For a moments she was just an ordinary sixteen year old girl in school and then it all came crashing down on her as she stretched out sleepily.

Hogwarts had been taken over by Death Eaters.

Harry was on the run.

Her family were being watched.

She was pregnant.

With Harry's baby.

She made it to the bathroom before she vomited though at this point she didn't know weather or not it was because of the morning sickness or the revelation crashing down on her again.

She ran a hand through her hair and leaned back against the bath tub for a second. Her hands found the soft skin of her belly again. Again there was not much there, why she thought there would be she didn't know.

She gave herself a minute to sit there before she hauled herself up to her feet. The first thing she did was brew a 'Obliterate Potion' and throw the pregnancy tests in, the room stank a little of burnt plastic but that way she knew that nobody (especially in case her room was searched) would find any evidence of the fact that she was carrying a baby inside of her.

Ginny forced herself to get dressed. Her skirt still fit and she pulled on her robes wondering how long she could get away with them until she needed bigger sizes or an engorgement charm to hide the fact that she was pregnant.

Pregnant.

Merlin.

* * *

She walked downstairs to breakfast pulling her hair into a topknot on top of her head. She carefully pulled the pot of decaf coffee towards her and hoped that nobody noticed the difference. Neville was chatting animatedly to Seamus who was nodding along. The graffiti was still prominent on the walls as well as the new message which loudly told everyone that Snape had murdered Dumbledore. How long they would remain under cover Ginny didn't know. She also knew that she had to start doing something now before she got too big that she couldn't.

Thinking hard she pulled the platter of toast, eggs and mushrooms towards her and tucked in. Now she knew why her appetite was as strange as it was she found that she could like the food that she was eating and she could enjoy it a bit more. The mushrooms at the breakfast table at Hogwarts were really not that bad now she knew that they were feeding the baby inside of her—or at least the small thing growing inside of her, Ginny was sure whatever it was, was about the size of the snitch.

Either way she enjoyed breakfast and then charms with more enthusiasm than she had done in a long time. Potions under Professor Slughorn was still the same though the man seemed to be going for his hipflask more than usual and Ginny didn't believe for a second that it was because he had adapted a Mad-Eye approach and didn't trust anyone.

Since the OWLs had been cancelled the previous year McGonagall and the exam board had reached an agreement based on what grades had been expected to be. That meant that Ginny who had actively tried to study even as the world had been crumbling down around her, could take the subjects she had wanted too including, Charms, Potions and Transfiguration. Defence Against the Dark Arts which had been her grade she had been most worried about (considering who was teaching) was now compulsory anyway.

She forced herself to pay attention to her potion book all the while she was thinking hard over what she was going to do when she got Neville alone. This graffiti thing was good and it worked well but they needed to make more of a stand. Perhaps if they used some of Fred and George's products to help them…after all her brothers had managed to get stuff into Hogwarts last year by pretending they were other things, surely they could do it again?

She thought about that as she was measuring out lacewing flies. She was sharing a table with Luna and a Hufflepuff girl who was the sister of Anthony Goldstein, Anna Goldstein who had her families long dark hair even as it was curled into tight curls around her face. She was chatting with Luna before telling Ginny that she was going out with Michael Corner. Ginny thought it was laughable that Anna would think that she cared about Michael anymore. She pointed out that he was a sore loser but Anna pointed out that most Ravenclaws were that caused Ginny to giggle into the potion she had almost forgotten she was making at the look on Luna's face.

It was the only humour that she got all day.

* * *

Defence Against the Dark Arts was just as worse as it had been last week and the week before that. Ginny noticed that instead of defence it was just about the dark arts. She was learning more and more though about the magic behind the people who had created the three deadliest and unforgivable curses that had ever been forced onto the Wizarding World. That alone would have been interesting. Being told by a Death Eater that she had to mean the hatred behind the torture curse was rather ironic but Ginny found as much as she could hated the thought of hurting her rabbit and as much as the dark magic made her throat tighten she thought that if she imagined that Bellatrix Lestrange was her rabbit she could do it.

Didn't change the fact that she was breaking the one wizarding law that her father had taught her to respect above all else and it most certainly didn't change the fact that she was torturing some poor animal. It didn't sit right, she had never seen Moody (or the Death Eater that Moody had been at the time) do the curses but she had heard enough from Ron to know what they looked like, she had been ducking them for nearly two years now and hear she was casting them.

She came out the classroom feeling rather sick. Luna had scrapped her hair back, had grabbed them and pulled them into the nearest bathroom. Anna had said she was going in search of Michael her own brown eyes wide with tears and Ginny was half aware that she was being pulled into a bathroom until she saw Luna, the tough, on a different plane, indomitable Luna sink to the floor and rock backwards and forth her hand in her mouth and her eyes wide.

Ginny had never seen Luna look like that. She had never seen Luna even upset before. She had been there when Pandora Lovegood had been buried and while Luna's father had gone on his walks over the hills barefooted and rambling it had been Ginny's mother who had took Luna home with them. Even so she had never seen Luna in the state that she was in now. She forced herself to sit down next to her friend and she wrapped an arm around Luna rocking her backwards and forwards as if she was the baby that Ginny was carrying inside of her. There was a pause where they sat there for a second and the door to the bathroom opened.

Ginny was halfway to yelling at whatever poor girl had, had the audacity to interrupt them in their moment (as she had been thinking hard about telling Luna—well—that she had been right) only to see that it was Astoria Greengrass. The girl had her dark hair in a bun at the nape of her neck and her tie was down by her breasts, even her shirt had three buttons open and Ginny could see that there was necklace there on a gold chain that was of some sort of muggle thing. She remembered what Greengrass had said about growing up eating stuff out of carboard boxes and watching TV and all other non-magical things because her parents didn't believe in the pure-blood ideology. She flicked her wand at the door to lock it and she waved it in a way that showed Ginny she knew the mufliato spell as well. Ginny also noticed that she was rather pale before she dumped her bag and her books on the floor and came and sat with her back against the cubicle door.

She reached for something in the pocket of her robes and passed it to Ginny. There was a pause before Ginny took it, flipped over the flask lid and sniffed. It was firewhiskey.

"No thanks" she said but she was more than surprised when Luna reached out and took a sip passing it back before rocking backwards and forwards. Astoria watched her with a clinical kind of interest before she turned to Ginny. There was a dark look to her eyes that had Ginny sitting up straighter. Her legs were under her and she met Astoria's dark mirror glance with one of her own.

"Last night Parkinson, Goyle, Crabbe, Nott, the ilk surrounding that drip Malfoy were talking" she said finally. "Daphne, Blaise and me are mostly on the outs with them, but of course in the Common Room there are all talking, some of the first year Slytherin's are scared of them and they want assurances that they will be protected if they choose to hide, I'd ask Longbottom but I don't trust him and he doesn't trust me. Also they plan to reform a new squad under Alecto Carrow. The plan is to get Dumbledore's Army in the act, capture them and then use them in lessons—probably when they get us off rabbits, failing that someone is passing them instructions probably from the Ministry, if family cause trouble then they will take it out on the children. The children here, it's a scare tactic that we all know will work"

There was a heartbeat of pause before Ginny spoke up.

"And your telling us this why?"

Astoria took a gulp of firewhiskey. "Because" she said slowly. "Because, this world crumbling around you two, is my world too. And…and I don't want to see children hurt. The first years, my first years are still eleven years old and their scared. They cannot go to their Prefects because they know who they are and what they are. So they come to me. They want to know if the great Gryffindor's will protect them if they have to go and hide. I said I'd find out if you had a plan. And…and I have a line, lines in the sand that if crossed I will do anything to stop. I wont practice the Cruciatus Curse on eleven year olds or classmates whose families are speaking out. This is how I do that. Besides your going to need a spy in the camp one way or another. I see this as a relationship that can go both ways"

Ginny stared at her. Never had she thought that this would be presented to her. Astoria stared at her for a long moment and Ginny stared back. There was a lot at stake here and not for the first time she wanted to really speak to her father. Her Dad would know what to do. But her Dad was not here, her Dad couldn't tell her weather or not to trust Astoria Greengrass. That decision and the consequences that might stem form it rested with her.

She breathed through her nose considering.

"I'll take it to Neville" she said finally. "I don't know weather or not he'll believe you but…he's running the show now. Either way I can promise that your guys will be protected if you can vouch for them"

Astoria nodded she sat up and Ginny wondered how she could stand in the miles long inch high heels that she was wearing.

"The raid tonight, don't do it" she said finally. "Or at the very least don't do it in the Entrance Hall or the Great Hall. Do it somewhere were they won't be looking for you. And tell Finnegan to learn to spell right before he sticks shit on the wall. Spelling Snape's name wrong was just embarrassing for all"

And with that she unlocked the door and stepped out. For a second she dithered on the doorway and then came back in to see Pansy Parkinson stood there her hair loose and greasy. Greengrass smiled the bitch persona she had adopted for so long back in place. Ginny scrambled to her feet wand out. Luna followed her.

"Problem Pansy?" Greengrass said in that magnificently haughty voice she adapted when wishing to wound. Pansy Parkinson looked around at the three of them. Greengrass shifted a little and Ginny realised she was looking at someone aimed for a fight.

"I just heard that you were in the loos with the Blood Traitor and the Loony. Just wanted to see if you were alright. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you" Pansy said with fake sweetness. "Or that blood traitor father or sister of yours"

It happened so fast Ginny didn't see it coming. Astoria's wand came up and then Parkinson was on the floor. It was a curse the same as Hermione had used on Marietta Edgecomb but the word SNEAK was not etched upon Parkinson's face but the purple warts were just all over. Greengrass was a lot better at non-verbal magic than she had been giving people to believe. Greengrass waved her wand in a memory loss charm and then stepped over Parkinson's body.

"You should go before anyone sees you" she said finally. "Tell me in Transfiguration what Longbottom says Weasley" she raised one perfect eyebrow and Ginny realised that in her panic when the spell had been cast her hands had gone to her stomach, to the baby that was growing inside of her, to Harry's baby. Feeling utterly stupid Ginny dropped her hands and instead reached for her own bag.

"See you around" Greengrass said and then she was gone.

"Come on" Luna said and together they stepped over Parkinson's body and out into the hallway.

* * *

"I don't like it Ginny" Neville said finally. "I know she's not uber Slytherin but she's still Slytherin"

"I will take full flack for it" Ginny said. They were playing chess (or attempting to play chess—Neville was a very poor player) in the common room. "But she's onto something Neville, if the Slytherin House is breaking within then we have a great opportunity here. Besides you and me both know that we just can't ignore the Slytherin students, they don't want to fight then they don't have to. And Astoria Greengrass is both brave, slightly stupid and moderate enough to get the ones that are scared out of harms way. Besides if she's right then we now know how to be careful"

"That's true" Neville said finally. "Lavender was going to go out tonight with Corner, McMillian and Bones. I'll tell her to hit the Owlery instead. Half of the school go there and then I want to start hitting the floo network. If we can I want to get something up so we can keep in touch with the Order. And yeah, I want to keep in touch with the Order. So there's that. I was thinking as well, do you want to do a raid with me. Sprawl something on the walls?"

"Possibly but I was thinking were gonna have to do some training in the Defence stuff soon and I can help with that. Also I was thinking that there was going to have to be some way we can get stuff from Fred and George through the post."

Neville nodded "I get it Ginny but you said you'd be with me in this for the long run. So I need you to be in this with me for the long run. I need you to be there doing the raids with me"

Ginny opened her mouth and then shut it again. She had said she was going to keep this to herself and she meant it. She was going to have to keep her mouth shut.

"Checkmate" she said knocking Neville's king over. "I'll see you in the morning Nev. I'm going to go and see if I can make a code that Fred and George can understand"

She left Neville sitting there and began to run a bath.

She turned and eyed herself in the mirror as she got into it.

She stared and stared and even though she was beginning to think she was imagining it she found that she could see it. A small hardening bump forming.

Baby.

"Baby" she said to the bump. She wasn't sure what else there was to say. She climbed into the bath, she climbed out of the bath, she climbed into bed.

When Ginny slept however, it was a dream free sleep, and she didn't wake up once.

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you all enjoy and I will try and update sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-As Ginny plans and puts into operation a deal which will see the rebellion inside Dumbledore's Army gain inside information the Death Eaters make good on their threats to punish the children of Hogwarts for their parents mistakes. Also Neville continues to push for another slogan to scrawl on the walls of their school. **


	10. The Perfect Storm

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I hope you all enjoy this one, I did intend it to be posted before now but I caught the dreaded January cold and therefore everything had to be pushed backwards. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as we get more into the story. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 10-The Perfect Storm

As Ginny plans and puts forth into operation a deal which will see the rebellion inside Dumbledore's Army gain inside information, the Death Eaters make good on their threats to punish the children of Hogwarts for their parents mistakes and their parents loyalty. Also Neville continues to push for another slogan to pain the walls of the school.

* * *

It was nearly a week and a half before Ginny could speak to Astoria Greengrass again. There had been no sightings of any of the now numerous wanted people. Kingsley was gone, as the months turned and Halloween neared and Ginny could now see the bump between her hips, she had received that information. He had used Voldemort's name to the last and had fought his way out of a confrontation. Ginny wasn't really surprised.

Reading between the letter lines and her father's carefully coded talk several times on the dull Monday that Halloween fell upon she found that she became even more worried if that was even possible.

The first thing she picked out from reading in between the lines was that Fred and George were doing something completely and utterly stupid and possibly illegal. Considering this was Fred and George, Ginny was not surprised but she would have thought—or rather she would have hoped—that they would have tried to control their natural desire to thrive of chaos until the war was over.

She paused reading again. Granted the letter gave nothing about their activities but Ginny knew her brothers well both before school, in school and out of school. She knew that they were loyal and that they had been itching to get into this fight as soon as it had begun. To be honest she was surprised they had lasted this long without doing something, Ginny suspected they were running some kind of mail order thing running the now banned controversial products through some kind of black market racketeering which would be great for her.

(Of course that was not all Fred and George were planning but in fairness she didn't find out about _that _until months later)

She sighed turning back to her toast and wondering if it really mattered if she grabbed another couple of slices. Ginny had always been on the slimmer side and she had never really been bothered when it came to her appearance but she figured that the body that Harry had loved so much was going to go to hell anyway once the bump became bigger and developed into a fully formed human so she may as well use the excuse to eat as much white bread with butter as she could.

She tapped the letter against the table and wondered how to form a reply that told her father just what was going on here without giving too much away. She didn't know how to tell him that there was a rebellion and she was as much in the thick of it as he didn't want her to be, how she was now in partnership with a Slytherin and how she was now practicing the torture curses before lunch every Friday.

Oh and also she was pregnant and Harry Potter was the father.

Merlin Ginny could only imagine what the reaction to _that _letter would be if it was ever sent.

She rolled her eyes and stuffed another slice of toast into her mouth and resisting the urge to just grab the whole damn toast rack and have at it.

At least it was a normal day today—no Death Eaters teaching lessons.

Days like this were good, it grounded her somewhat, made her believe even if it was only for a second that she was back at the old Hogwarts and Harry would come in any minute with that tired smile.

Of course it was a dream. But it was a better dream than the nightmare that they were living in.

The peace however did not last long because just as Ginny was pulling out her timetable to make sure that she was right about the timing of her lessons when she heard a scream that had several people standing up. Before Ginny could even reach for her wand, Neville was flying past her and Seamus and Lavender were right behind him. She staggered upright, forced herself not to sway a little as the vertigo hit and then followed them. She was not the only one however, half of the school including the Slytherin's had joined them. McGonagall was there as well her face as white as chalk. Ginny had no idea what was happening but she knew enough to know that whatever could make her solidly dependable head of house look like that was enough to make her stomach turn and this time it had nothing to do with the morning sickness.

There was a child on the floor of the entrance hall. A first year boy whose face was the colour of milk and who was curled up on himself sobbing hysterically. Above him with a look of utter glee on his face was Vincent Crabbe who seemed to finally have come into his own. Ginny stared her brain desperately trying to catch up with the events even though she knew deep down what was happening here.

Crabbe raised his wand again but before he could utter the Cruciatus Curse McGonagall was there and Crabbe's wand went flying so it landed at Blaise Zabini's feet who picked up the stick of wood with a look that told Ginny he was desperate to snap it in two.

She turned to see the sandy haired boy shivering on the floor and there was something in her that was unable to stop herself from bending down and touching him lightly on the shoulder so that he knew that he wasn't alone. The boy however flinched and moved away and Ginny felt her heart break at the sight of him curled up on the ground.

"Mr Crabbe" said Professor McGonagall with a coldness so beyond anything that she had ever produced before that even the Slytherin's all took a step backwards or looked around sharing uneasy glances between them, the boy let out another whimper and Ginny took her cloak from out of her bag and passed it to him letting him use it as a shelter as well as warmth. He took it but didn't meat her eye as if he didn't have the stomach. Ginny felt her own stomach twist with a cold hard burning fury that would not go away. If she had ever needed a reason to stay and fight, this was it.

Because she had a feeling that she knew what the reasoning behind this was.

"What?" Crabbe snarled looking feral. Ginny shifted slightly pushing back so that she could get to her feet not that she suspected their Transfiguration teacher and the veteran of the last Wizarding War needed defending from some angry seventeen year old, but she wanted to fight. She could feel that shiver that ran down her spine when she thought about it. The last time she had felt like that Ron had held out Harry's luck potion with an expression of great apprehension and had asked her to fight. He had not been too pleased with it as he had not been the previous year. Ron had also inherited that rather overbearing, overprotective nature that nearly all of her brothers had got. Merlin what she wouldn't have given to have helped rescue Harry that night…the waiting had killed her.

Ginny still wasn't a hundred percent sure that she could wait forever.

She turned her attention back to the present.

Crabbe clearly couldn't stop talking.

"This" he prodded the boy with his toe who whimpered. "Is Alfie McDonald whose father has just spoken out against our glorious Dark Lord—" there was a snort from the Slytherin corner and Ginny was willing to bet Galleons she didn't have that it was one of the Greengrass girls.

"I have taught him what will happen to traitors. And—" he said with the air of pulling out a rabbit from a hat. "I have the authority of both Professor Carrows who stand above you, you old bat" and he spat at McGonagall's face.

"You piece of shit" Seamus shouted raising his wand but McGonagall raised a hand her face as white as the chalk she used.

"Finnegan put that wand down right now! Longbottom, Brown you too! We are not going to brawl in the Entrance Hall and give Mr Crabbe what he wants though I have no doubt you'd wipe the floor with him" Ginny grinned despite herself.

"Crabbe get yourself to the Headmaster's office before I forget that I am a teacher and take you on myself, I have no doubt that you will not be able to curse me"

There was a very awkward silence before Crabbe looking thunderous slouched off towards the stairs that would lead to Snape's new office.

There was another long pause.

Professor McGonagall bent down to touch the hand of Alfie McDonald who whimper but managed a small shaky smile. Professor McGonagall managed a small one back.

"You get yourself to he Hospital Wing Alfie" she said finally her voice oddly gentle and a bit croaky. "And you take as long as you need. When your ready come and see me and we can have a chat." She looked up and caught Ginny's eye.

"Weasley, Patil" she said sounding rather like her regular self again. "Take Mr McDonald up to the Hospital Wing and make sure he is there. Longbottom, Finnegan my office if you will, the rest of you get to class. NOW!"

She ended that sentence on a full throated roar that had everyone scrambling to do what she said.

Ginny helped the little boy to his feet, Parvati at his other side her brown eyes wide with concern and together they got him to the Hospital Wing just in enough time to see the slinky slivery-white tabby cat disappear into thin air around Madam Pomfrey's ankles. Ginny couldn't help the snort of amusement even though the situation had nothing amusing about it. Trust McGonagall to always be prepared for a situation.

She left the boy with Parvati who promised to wait until his brother, a Hufflepuff fifth year came and then turned to walk out, she wasn't at all surprised to see Neville waiting for her, though she was surprised to see him in conversation with Daphne Greengrass. Both had their dark heads together and both were whispering with an urgency that Ginny had never seen before.

"Daphne says her sister is going to work with us and a select group of Slytherins to pass on information" Neville said as Ginny approached.

"I didn't know this was going to happen" Daphne whispered looking around. "But I'm not surprised. Elliot McDonald is a news editor at the Prophet, he resigned yesterday rather than publish anti Muggleborn stories. He's a half blood himself and his wife before she died three years ago was a muggleborn. Somehow Crabbe got the information before I did"

"Carrows" Ginny said shrewdly.

"How many Slytherins are sympathetic?" Neville asked.

"My sister completely and utterly, Zabini if only because war threatens his wealth and to be fair to Blaise he does have a moral code, the Hardwood brothers especially after this, I might be able to turn a few more…Crabbe and Goyle are ruling the Common Room it's hard to tell who listens to them because they have to or because they believe it"

Ginny paused.

"Malfoy's not ruling the roost?" she asked. Daphne shook her head. "He's hardly ever there" she confessed. "And when he's in school he's in the Head Boy's office, it has a private floo network set up so he can pop in and out whenever he's called"

"How do you know that?" Neville asked his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Because he told Astoria. I don't know if he fancies her or if she just fascinates him because she doesn't pant after him like Parkinson. Malfoy's used to being the one in the Common Room that all the girls fancy, my sister's never given him the time of day but then again she doesn't give anyone the time of day. I think he was boasting to her but…" she shrugged.

"What do you want?" Ginny said shrewdly. Granted she didn't know Daphne that well but she knew enough about the cunning of Slytherins to know that she was probably after something. Daphne eyed her with curiosity for a second and then spoke.

"Astoria's got political views, I mean real political views, and she's gonna keep going, helping you, using Malfoy's interest in her to get the information you need. I don't share the same views, don't get me wrong I think that what happened this morning was beyond words and if it came to a fight I would fight but I am more of a survivalist than my sister, I want to live through this with as little loss and bloodshed as I can. And nothing I say to here will make her stop. So my price for the information that I can get you, for the connections outside of the school that I can get you with other Slytherin's who will feel the way I do but who will be protected due to their outwardly appearance is that when the shit does hit the fan you get Astoria out, you get her into a safe place and you do your best to protect her. If you don't I will go to the Carrows myself and give the names of everyone in Dumbledore's Army and then you and most likely your families will be as finished as mine will be"

There was a very long pause.

"Fine" Neville said. "But one wrong move from your house Greengrass"

"Yeah I know" Daphne said her voice weak with relief. "I know Longbottom, I know the stakes in this."

They were interrupted by the sound of running footsteps and the three of them turned to see Arthur McDonald run up to the Hospital Wing, he crashed through the door to his brother without giving them a glance.

"I should go" Daphne said. "Astoria said to tell you that Malfoy isn't going to be in the Head Boy office tonight, Crabbe said this morning that there was a big meeting"

And with a flick of her dark hair she was gone.

"Did you mean what you told her" Ginny said finally. "About her sister?"

"Yes" Neville said finally. "I could have lied but the truth of the matter is Gin I don't want to. If Astoria can get us names of the children that are being targeted by students we can try and stop as much as we can. Besides, there's something very Dumbledore about this—working with the Slytherins even after his death to defeat the enemy within. And if we attack the Head Boy's room then we can see if the information pans out. You up for this one? Me you, Seamus from Gryffindor? And I know that Ernie's desperate to have a shot, plus Boot from Ravenclaw…we can use them as lookouts"

Ginny wanted to say no, she wanted to say that she was pregnant and couldn't risk it or failing that fall back on the very real excuse that she had a mountain of homework to do and some of it if she didn't do it would see her in the same place of that boy. But she couldn't. She couldn't, she couldn't sit on her arse anymore and do nothing, besides if they were careful, if they were smart then…

She ran a hand across her stomach as if pretending she was holding herself together feeling the hardened skin underneath her robes, her skirt, her shirt. She closed her eyes and thought about Harry, about what he was doing, about what he would do if he was in her situation.

"Yeah" she said opening her eyes again with a bright confidence that she didn't feel. "But let's take Parvati as well and tell Ernie to let Susan and Hannah know, Arthurs's in their house and the last thing we need if for him to get any wind of this"

Neville nodded. "Midnight?"

"No" Ginny said shaking her head. "Dinner, it will still be light enough to see where we are going and the Carrows will be at this meeting. Plus any Slytherins will be in the Great Hall. In fact Luna, Parvati and I can be at the table and if needs be give you alibi's, you and Seamus have a good thing going and if were all gone then…" she didn't need to finish. Neville got it.

"I thought you'd want to help"

"I do Neville" Ginny snapped feeling her head throb. "But we have to be smart about this. For some unholy reason Astoria Greengrass trusts me. I too have people on the outside who want to help. Let me do this my own way. If you want to scrawl names on doors then do that. I want to make sure you don't end up in a grave somewhere or worse. To that we need to ensure that you have an alibi. To do that we need to make sure that the targeted children get out. We need intelligence not brute force."

There was a long pause.

"You can handle yourself if the Carrows ask where I am?"

"I'm almost insulted you have to ask"

Neville nodded his jaw tight and then he walked away. Ginny knew he was confused and a little offended she had all but called his plan stupid and childish but she didn't care. She had bigger things to worry about.

She sat down on the windowsill and stared at the now closed doors of the Hospital Wing. Intelligence was good, if she could keep working that angle of this war then perhaps she could get through it unscathed. She only had a few months here before she had to go into hiding, she had to work with what she had, put things in motion that Luna could step into or Lavender or Parvati, she had to make sure that something came out of her time here.

Her hand found her belly again where her baby was growing inside of her. This might be the only contribution she made to this war. She had better make it good.

She sat on the windowsill for a very long time, when she stood up the sky was dark and her legs were stiff and her hands were cold. Slowly she made her way down the stairs to the Great Hall. She ate in silence.

The storm it seemed that had been raging inside the castle for nearly two years, had just begun.

* * *

**And there we are I hope you all enjoyed that, next chapter should be published sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny defends the first years in battle against the Slytherin's during Halloween as her pregnancy develops. November comes to Hogwarts as Dumbledore's Army finds a sympathetic-or near about-ally in Hogsmeade. **


	11. Mayham

**Hi everyone here is chapter 11 and this is a long one finally with a bit of action. I had a lot of fun with this one especially because i got to introduce some more OCs which I always enjoy and put together some of my own ideas of what was going on in the castle. I do believe that all of the students wanted to help and though Neville might have been loath to it (as Harry would have been) he didnt stop it because he knew that it was going to happen anyway. I also got to introudce Aberforth which was just brilliant as he is a massvily underused character. **

**Anyhow just another note from me and then the usual-I am in the process of gahtering notes for an Astoria Greengrass story that runs concurant to this one (sort of) it wont even be looked at until this story is finished and probably will need some time for the plot to be fleshed out a bit but if that's something your interested in reading or if your wondering about certain plot holes that's what this is about. **

**And now: Disclaimer, Nothing is mine just this chapter, this plot and those little first year OCs. **

**Please Read and Review and i will desperatly try and update soon****.**

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Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 11-Mayham

Ginny defends the first years in battle against the Slytherins during Halloween as her pregnancy develops. November comes to Hogwarts as Dumbledore's Army finds a sympathetic—or near about ally in Hogsmeade.

* * *

The first wave of intelligence came three weeks after the deal between the more sympathetic Slytherins and Dumbledore's Army came into effect. One day during Transfiguration, Astoria reading a copy of the magazine in a way that hid her face told Ginny under her breath that Crabbe and Goyle had a plan to attack a group of first year Hufflepuffs and Gryffindor's as they came out of Herbology. The target was apparently one in particular a Gryffindor by the name of Sasha Maxwell whose mother had voiced publicly her disgust of the release of Dolohov of whom she had lost two brothers and a mother too in the first war.

Ginny remembered her own mothers white face when she had heard the news that the man who had took down her brother—the main one anyway—would be walking the streets and then remembered the little blonde girl with big eyes who was currently in Charms and would be in Herbology before Ginny got a chance to warn her. She said nothing as Astoria told her that if more than one first year got hurt Crabbe and Goyle didn't care as they had authority from the Carrows and they got their authority from Snape or more probably someone else.

At that Astoria had gone quiet and Ginny knew who she was thinking off. She couldn't blame the woman she found, she too thought of Voldemort and felt a cold that she had never felt before—even when she had come across the Dementors. Her hand found her stomach again and she removed it quickly when she noticed Astoria looking. The girl was too quick for her own good and she would wonder.

"Period cramps" she lied. Astoria raised an eyebrow but nodded. "They get worse as the news gets worse funnily enough" Ginny garbled quickly.

"I get it" Astoria said sagely. "Have you tried hot water and lemon? Works for me"

"A muggle remedy?" came a cackle behind them and Ginny turned to see Millicent Bullstrode giggling with Parkinson. "You're a disgrace Greengrass. Wonder what Crabbe and Goyle would make of that? Wonder what the Dark Lord would make of your father teaching it to you?" She giggled and Ginny wondered if they'd overheard but then she realised that she was being ridiculous. They had only just walked in after all and they most certainly did not sit behind them.

Astoria raised on perfectly plucked eyebrow.

"You can tell the Dark Lord what you want Bullstrode but I can count my pure-blood ancestors back four generations while you can only count yours back what? Ten years?" she gave a soft mocking laugh that wiped the smile of Millicent's face as if she'd been slapped. Ginny had to admire Astoria's nerve if nothing else. "And as for Crabbe and Goyle I think you find they take their orders from Malfoy and I doubt dear Draco is going to tell them to turn on me, as I think Parkinson knows. I mean…don't you have any respect Pansy? Panting after a man who sees you as a distraction at best and a hole at worse?"

Ginny choked on her own spit. She caught sight of some other people in class who were watching. Ellie Blackwood was watching with her mouth open and both the McGregor twins Hayden and Liam were opening grinning. She glanced at the door and wondered if at some point their teacher was going to come in before this turned into a war which ultimately she would say Astoria would win.

Pansy turned a rather unflattering shade of puce. Ginny stared. Surely to Merlin Astoria wasn't implying what she thought she was. Neville was going to have a fit of righteous indignation once he found out and she was willing to bet a good amount of money that Seamus wouldn't like it either.

Astoria gave another long slow smile and turned around. At that moment the door opened and their professor came in and the two girls were quickly dismissed from the class. Ginny waited until they had their books out and then muttered under her breath. "Please tell me you aren't prostituting yourself for information from Malfoy?"

Astoria sighed. "It's really not that simple" she said finally. "He doesn't want sex, if it was sex it would be easier because I'd detach myself from what was going on but he's…he's lonely. He wants someone to talk to, someone who he thinks will listen and not judge, someone who doesn't look at him like a monster or a hero. I don't think life as a Death Eater is any joy for Draco at the moment. He's half terrified. I don't condone his choices not for a second but…I don't know, sometimes I feel sorry for him. And…and he's giving the information away freely. It's like he wants stuff to happen to stop the fanatics. It's strange, but then again he's always been that. Last year he went from cock of the wall to nothing in half a year. Confused the hell out of everyone"

Ginny stared at her.

"You like him" she accused.

"Sometimes" Astoria said getting her wand out as she underlined their homework. "I told you it's not that black and white for me. Besides I know what side of this war I want to be on and it's not his. That should be enough for you. I'll get you the information, you judge for yourself if it's any good. But there is an eleven year old who has two seventeen year olds after her who plan to torture her and the staff don't have a choice but to let it happen"

Ginny nodded.

"Don't" she said finally. "Don't prostitute yourself for the information Astoria. Don't sleep with someone for intel. Neville will have a fit if he finds out that's happening and Seamus will hit the castle roof as well."

Astoria stared at her for a second and then nodded. She looked as if she was on the verge of saying something else but thought better of it. Instead she turned back to her mouse as Professor McGonagall announced they were going to practice non-verbal vanishing spells. Ginny who had struggled with the actual spell for seven long weeks the previous year groaned inwardly. She was too tired for this shit.

* * *

That afternoon the hallways stank of baking pumpkin. Ginny felt ill with the smell. It was a shame she thought, that her baby disliked it because the pumpkin spiced coffees that came at the end of the feast had always been her favourite thing. She scowled gripping her wand, she was going to be sacrificing a lot of things for Harry's baby. She felt a flare of irritation that the man himself wasn't here but then as soon as she felt it, it disapperated. Harry was sacrificing more than she was. She didn't want to think about the ultimate sacrifice he might make. She felt like she was dying herself when she thought about that.

As soon as transfiguration was over she had used the coin that Hermione had transformed to send Seamus a message. It was complicated but Ginny had no idea how to do the talking Patronus and a horse cantering though the halls of Hogwarts was something of a giveaway. Seamus who had a free period had set off at a flying run to intercept Sasha Maxwell and Ginny who had been walking to the Entrance Hall felt rather than heard the tell tale signs of curses flying through the air. Screams hit her from all angles and she pushed forwards despite the fact that she knew she shouldn't only to see Seamus roaring with furry and using some of the most colourful language Ginny had ever heard (and she had grown up with six brothers) thrusting a blonde girl at her. Ginny grabbed her and thrust her up the stairs towards the common room not caring who was getting in the way. They had just made it to the floor where the Fat Lady was when she saw Parkinson standing they're like the cat that got the cream. Shoving Sasha to the side behind a rather large statue of a wizard whose robes were rather loose around his waist, Ginny bent down to take the tearstained girls face in her hands.

"Stay here until I come and get you"

"She's going to kill me" the eleven year old cried. Ginny smiled a fury she had never known coursing through her.

"No" she said pressing a kiss into the blonde hair without thinking. "No darling she's not. But I might kill her"

And with that she turned around wand in hand to take on the Slytherin girl stalking forwards.

The first curse was a Cruciatus curse. Ginny blocked it with a shield charm but it didn't change the fact that if that was the way Pansy wanted to play then she was going to have to up her game. She thought briefly of what her father would say if he could see her now but she didn't think about it more than a fleeting thought. The first thing she had learnt in that battle at the Department of Mysteries was that thinking about anything other than the fight got you killed or blasted backwards into a planet.

She fired two hexes after Parkinson in quick succession who responded by hitting a curse at her that made a vase explode. Ginny snarled and sent a stunning spell at her that missed Parkinson by two inches. She forced herself forwards spell after spell coming out of her wand and she could almost see Harry's crooked smile when she yelled out the spell that had saved his life time and time again. Lupin had been right it had become her signature, whenever she casted it she thought of him.

"Expelliarmous"

Pansy's wand went flying. Ginny crossed the corridor that was now littered in shards of glass and dust pulled her fist back and with all the skill and force that came with living with six brothers punched her hard in the mouth. Pansy spat blood but before she could move Ginny punched her again and again she knew breaking her nose. Pansy didn't move just spluttered blood.

"And you are lucky it's just that you evil little bitch" Ginny snarled. "Because if I wasn't my parents daughter I'd have secumsempra'd your arse into St Mungo's and back and fucked the consequences" she stood up and spat at Parkinson crossed the corridor grabbed Sasha Maxwell by the arm and frogmarched her into the common room.

Lavender was there and she took one look at Sasha and Ginny and seemed to understand. Sasha burst into uncontrollable tears and soon found herself sat at the chair in front of the fire with Parvati's softest blanket wrapped around her a mug of hot chocolate from a fourth year girl Ginny was sure was called Katy Jamison and Lavender cleaning the cut at the top of her eyebrow. Ginny went straight to the bathroom on the first floor scaring another girl who had been up there and threw up in her bathroom.

The girl disappeared and she heard footsteps on the stair and turned to see Parvati watching her with kind eyes.

"Neville and Seamus are back. They got most of the first years back to the Common Room. Seamus has also wiped Parkinson's memory, he thought it was for the best. Neville says two first years in the Hospital Wing, Bonnie Grey from Hufflepuff and a Jessica Hunter from our house, but Terry managed to block a curse coming for them so it's a broken wrist and a concussion which is better than what it could be. Terry got sectumsempra but it only caught his arm and he'll live."

Ginny nodded not hearing the words.

"I wanted to kill her" she said finally. "I was stood there and she had no wand and I punched her and all I wanted to do in that moment was punch her until she stopped bloody breathing. I…" she ran a hand through her hair. "I have never felt like that before Parvati…that level of anger and hatred. I don't…" she turned away and felt tears come to her eyes.

Parvati came and sat next to her on the cold stone and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Why don't you come and spend the night in our dorm Ginny. You don't want to be alone with the way your feeling"

Ginny nodded noting that Parvati said nothing about hatred and wanting to kill someone. She wondered if she was alone in those feelings or if it was something that everyone was feeling these days. She forced herself to swallow and drink the water Parvati provided. She rubbed hand over her face feeling the dust smudge and her eyeliner and mascara being ruined.

"What are we going to do now?" she asked.

"Were having a meeting. Downstairs."

Ginny nodded. "Give me five minutes to take my make up off" she said finally. She didn't need five minutes to do something that trivial but she thought Parvati understood that she needed time to herself before she faced the house. She patted Ginny once on the shoulder and then disappeared downstairs.

Ginny found her way to her bed and got changed methodically into a pair of leggings and a Harpies T-Shirt that seen many better days. She wiped her make up off and took a gulp of calming potion (Merlin did something right when Ron became friends with Hermione who was a wonderful woman who thought of everything) and then stood in front of the mirror. She lifted her shirt and stared. Yeah. It was there now. The bump, it was hard and she was curving slightly. She was three months along nearing four. She placed her hands on the hard skin and breathed.

"Sorry" she said to the thing inside of her. "It's just…it was an innocent first year. Just as you will be one day. I couldn't let it happen. It's not that I don't want you safe. It's just…I really hope one day you'll understand cause I think your grandparents will never let me hear the end of it."

And with that she went downstairs.

* * *

The common room was in uproar. Seamus was still swearing loudly in a way that had half of the second year boys looking at him like he was a God, Neville was attempting to keep order. Sasha Maxwell was surrounded by a group of first year girls and more than a few boys who were scowling and desperate it seemed to fight.

"Enough" Neville said into the din. The house fell silent.

"First things first. Nobody under the age of fourteen is fighting. No…" he said pointing at a first year called Tommy who looked murderous at that. "No Tommy nobody. But what we can do is start teaching you some magic so that you can defend yourself. It will be hard. Very hard, some of it will be really advanced. But if someone starts on you it might help but I want to make it clear that you are DEFENDING yourselves only. You do not go out and start fights for the hell of it. If anyone does that then the lessons are over. Deal?"

"Whose teaching us then?" Tommy the first year asked his chin jutting out as he glared at Neville.

"I will" Ginny said into the silence. "I have fought in two battles against two lots of Death Eaters, I have fought in Dumbledore's Army since it's creation. Anyone got a problem learning off me?"

There was a silence.

"Good" Ginny said standing up. "First lesson will be after the Hogsmeade visit. If you can get a copy of The Defence Manual and…let's see, The Book of Spells, Grade 3 and 4 and probably Defensive Magic in Practice do so. Theirs the library and theirs Flourish and Blotts. If you can't then I expect third and fourth years to share them. And…" she said seeing her opening as Neville was due to open his mouth. "Perhaps Hannah could take over lessons for Hufflepuff and Terry's going to be out of action for a while perhaps he could help with the Ravenclaws"

She had said the magic words. Neville was head over heals for Hannah. The fact that she would be out of danger kept Ginny covered for a while. He wouldn't notice why she was going to stay on the side-lines. Besides, she thought she could do this.

"We'll also learn basic potions as well" she continued. "Polyjuice for a start. So it's going to be hard work and I don't want you here If your going to mess about. Clear?"

There were several nods and mutters.

"What do I do?"

That was Sasha, her head was leaning on another boy's arm and she was still shaking.

"I think Sasha" Lavender said gently. "That you might have to leave Hogwarts and go into hiding."

Sasha sobbed.

"Hogsmeade weekend is tomorrow" Seamus said finally. "Ginny you have some Polyjuice yes?"

"Hermione gave me some over the summer yeah" Ginny said not seeing where this was going. Seamus nodded. "We can get Sasha out that way. To the edge of the village and then I can take her by side apparition to her mothers and that way she's safe. All we need is a third year to give up their hair"

"I will" said a voice and they turned to see a third year girl who had her arms around a first year, they were clearly sisters and Ginny thought that the oldest one was named Talia but she couldn't be sure. She looked white to the lips but resolute.

"I can stay here for the day. I have a mass of potions homework anyway"

"Wont it be a bit obvious is you don't come back though" said a forth year boy.

"Not if there's a distraction" Seamus said. "Even if the Carrows are there they'll go to the noise first, we can say she came in while everyone was looking the other way"

There was a murmur of approval. Neville nodded looking around the amassed students.

"Any volunteers?"

Every first year put their hand in the air. Ginny felt a smile tug at her face despite the fact it felt wrong given the circumstances. Neville grinned too.

"Alright, John, Tommy, Alfie you three find Peeves in the morning and tell him he can make some noise at about three in the afternoon. Tell him to use the trophy room, then go and wait in the broom cupboard off the entrance hall if nothing happens set off a load of Weasley Wizbangs, don't hang around just get back to the common room as soon as they've gone off. And if Peeves makes the Carrows leave then get back anyway. We don't have a lot of stock"

The three named boys looked utterly delighted at their chance to fight and nodded.

"The best thing to do tomorrow, Is to act as if this is a normal day. The Fat Lady wont let anyone in unless it's us I already asked her. But if one word of this gets out then it's all up in smoke. This is people's lives were talking about here. So no gossiping in the bathrooms. Anyone who wants to fight put your name and your age on a piece of parchment Ginny will have and she'll start timetabling classes."

"Are you going to use the Room of Requirement?" Lavender asked that night. Ginny had taken them up on their spare bed and she crawled into Hermione's shivering still with adrenaline. She had not gone down for dinner thankfully a first year by the name of Nadia had smuggled her two bread rolls and a cookie as she had signed her name down though Ginny had struggled to eat those.

"No. Too much of a risk should we be discovered. I was thinking the Common Room. We can use different years each night. It's not ideal but…"

There was a pregnant pause. None of this was very ideal.

"Let's get some sleep" Parvati said finally into the silence. "If tomorrow goes well…well I for one will feel like I actually achieved something"

Ginny went to sleep. She dreamed once again of Harry. When she woke up she realised that once again she had been crying in her sleep.

* * *

Ginny walked with Sasha clutching a bag with a hastily done and rather crude undetectable extension charm in it done by Cho Chang in the corridor, disguised as Talia. There was no issue getting past the Carrows which told Ginny that Seamus's memory charm on Parkinson had worked. They walked down through the village to where Seamus was wating beyond the little gate and then up through the caves.

"Thank you" Sasha said finally. Ginny bent down a little and hugged the girl.

Seamus caught her eye with grim understanding and then they were gone.

Ginny thought she needed a butterbeer. She would have liked a firewhiskey but the baby prevented that. She walked into the Hogs Head checked it was deserted and saw Neville in conversation with the barman. There was something about him actually…

"This is Aberforth Dumbledore" Neville said as the man passed over the Butterbeer. Ginny spat it out.

"Oh for the love…I just cleaned the bar girl"

Ginny tampered down her response which was not that of the nice girl her parents had raised her to be but more of the little sister of Fred and George.

"He might be able to help us"

Ginny stared at Aberforth and took another gulp of Butterbeer. She was really getting to tired for this and it was only November the first. She could feel the hardness of her belly straining against her skirt and wondered how long she could keep doing this.

She closed her eyes and saw beneath her eyelids the look on Sasha's face as she realised she would have to leave Hogwarts, the grim determination in the first years to fight, the hatred that was etched on Parkinson's face, Astoria's calm acknowledgement that she was not above sleeping with a Death Eater to help them and then Harry's crooked smile as they had laid in bed together and he had pressed a kiss to her temple and told her she had made him feel things he thought he would never get the chance to.

She opened her eyes and she thought for one second she saw something shift in Aberforth's eye as he looked down at her. But then it was gone and Ginny shifted forgetting the bone aching tiredness she felt and blinking back the tears that were constantly on the edge. She straightened. She had promised herself she would do this for as long as she was able too.

"Tell us how you can help" she said.

She was proud. Her voice was still steady.

* * *

**And there you are, i hope you all enjoy this chapter and i look forwards to seeing your reaction to the next one. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny becomes a teacher, a confident, a mentor and in some ways a practice mother/big sister all at once. Luna worries about her father's increasingly pro-Potter views, Neville puts together a plan that might have dire consequences for all. **


	12. Masterpeice

**Hi, so here is another chapter I hope you all enjoy. The note from me this time is going to be short and sweet. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**As always I intend to update sooner rather than later but real life sometimes gets in the way. **

**As this story is AU certain events will be AU and this includes the stealing the sword scene mentioned in Deathly Hallows. **

**The Illusion Cream is my own plot device so this story can continue for a few more chapters and I actually do believe that in this world **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 12-Masterpeice

Ginny becomes a teacher, a confident, a friend, a mentor, and in some ways a mother and a big sister all at once. Luna worries about her father's radical 'Pro-Potter' views. Neville puts together a plan that might have dire consequences for all involved.

* * *

The weeks passed and suddenly it was the end of November, the workload had increased with the winter holidays only a month away and Ginny was now waking up in the morning to find that her bump was now showing so much so she had to order shirts a size bigger and then use magic to elasticated her skirt. Her robes hide most of the weight she was gaining but she found that she was waking up always within the sense that she was in company even when she was alone.

She had started to notice the changes a bit more. The fourth month bump that was rapidly becoming five at the completion of this week was now painfully obvious though she had managed to keep it hidden by being very careful. Her breasts were still tender to the touch and she had gone up a cup size. They were heavier and she knew that soon enough she might need a new bra size. She was also aware that her hair was longer and glowing a bit brighter and hang a bit straighter and she was sure that, that had nothing to do with the fact that she had changed her shampoo from vanilla to coconut (because vanilla now apparently made her heave). Personally, she thought that whole pregnancy making someone glow thing was a myth, but she thought that her skin was a bit clearer even when she stripped her make up off at the end of the day.

She had been doing some very quiet reading, it was hard to get materials in but she had learnt from her brothers that the best thing to do was to disguise them, fortunately after her drink with Aberforth she had claimed she had needed to go to the muggle chemist outside of Hogsmeade for some tampons which had made Neville go red, mumble about how he would meet her in the Three Broomsticks when she was done and said if she wanted to go for a lie down he would understand. Seamus muttered several words under his breath, wouldn't look her in the eye and said he would go and make sure the first years didn't cause any trouble.

Ginny had waited until they had gone and then had rolled her eyes so hard that it hurt. Weather magical or muggle, war or peace, boys would undoubtedly be boys.

At the muggle bookshop she bought some books on pregnancy, changed the covers as soon as she was back in Hogsmeade and then went to the owl order service to pick up the parcel she had rerouted through Hogsmeade to avoid the Carrows.

There was a cream that was supposed to hide the stretch marks Ginny was sure were coming as well as help hide the bump. Ginny didn't know if this was true but even her mother swore that it had helped her fit into clothes when she had been pregnant with Fred and George and had given the impression she was pregnant with one baby instead of two. Tonks when she had seen her last had spoken of it as well claiming that Aurors used it when they wanted to work. While Ginny was both sceptical and unwilling to part with that much money she was also aware that Christmas was coming up and she didn't want to sit down with four brothers and her father and explain that she had gotten herself pregnant with the offspring of 'Undesirable No 1'. With a tap of her wand it looked like body lotion and though the shop was deserted (the owner in the back) and the parcel had not been opened, Ginny thought that the owl was giving her a rather judgemental look.

She met up with Hannah in the Three Broomsticks who was sat with her books open and Ernie next to her their blonde heads close together. They were planning on what to teach what years and Ginny sat down next to them listening, Anthony was on the other side circling things with a red ink quill and wearing an expression that Ginny knew was reminiscent of the Ravenclaws (and both Hermione and Percy) in the middle of exam season.

"I was thinking. Well Terry was thinking he just sent me" Anthony said looking over the Standard Book of Spells Grade Two. "That we should find another escape route if things go bad. Hogsmeade might not always be an option, twice it was cancelled last year. Michael and I can work on that with Cho, she wants to fly but with Dementor's around the entrance…"

"The more fifth, sixth and seventh years who can cast Patronus's corporeal or otherwise needs to increase" Ernie muttered over the din. "Sixth years are learning it anyway, seventh mostly have it locked down but the fifth is gonna be a nightmare, they don't know the magic"

"Then that's the first spell we start them off with." Hannah said closing her book with a snap. "Most fifth years can do the basic, Impedimenta, Stunners, Point-Me, and a series of jinx's and hexes, we can brush up on the basics for the first couple of weeks see if there are any gaping errors and then look at the theory before Christmas and set them practising afterwards. Hopefully nothing happens until then, we only have to make it through three weeks"

"And hopefully don't drown in the weight of our homework" Ernie said meaningfully. "That's something we should make clear—seventh year is hard and the Carrows are looking for any excuse, we need to make sure that as far as the younger students are concerned we don't give them any excuse"

Ginny nodded looking over the list of spells that Hannah had complied and the notes underneath it.

"Did you put together the list of potions? Half of the plants included in these are gonna take time to get, especially if we don't want to be caught stealing them"

"Neville did. And he says over Christmas he can get what we need. To be honest we need to start small " Hannah said going slightly pink, Ginny raised an eyebrow at the fact that Neville had apparently been spending the night with Hannah (though knowing Neville and the fact that Susan shared the same dorm room she reckoned it was just sleeping) but didn't comment. Instead she folded up her copy of the list, bade goodbye to the three seventh years still sitting there and walked back up to the castle in silence her cloak wrapped tight around her robes that (being a size bigger than what she usually wore) covered her bump perfectly.

* * *

When she got back to the Common Room it was too see the three first year boys in a corner chatting animatedly. Ginny listened for a second with wry amusement. Tommy, John and Alfie had done nothing more than relay a message to Peeves before making sure that the Carrows were in the entrance hall but they were telling a collection of first year girls a story that had morphed into a conflict between them and the Carrows in which they had nearly been kidnapped and had, had to fight them off singlehandedly before Peeves arrived. It seemed to be having a great effect on the girls surrounding them including a blonde one called Grace who was eyeing Tommy with an interest that reminded Ginny of the way she used to look at Harry.

"Sasha got away" she said interrupting the little class reunion. As one the First Years relaxed. Ginny gave them thirty seconds to whisper amongst themselves and then when she spoke there was the same snap to her words that she employed, that she had learnt from her mother who had used that tone too many times over the years with seven children. She was rather impressed at how she seemed to have it that well down.

"First lessons begin next Friday, I want you all to read up on the Expelliarmous spell and the Levitation charm. I know you've done that already but this time were going to try moving larger objects than feathers, and if you don't do the reading on the Expelliarmous charm don't bother turning up. Common Room, after dinner, 6pm till 8. Second years…" she said a bit louder raising her voice.

"Will begin learning the summoning charm which is a massively difficult challenge and third and forth years are going to do either a recap of stunning or beginning to learn it. Fifth, sixth years don't need any help just practice Saturday or Sunday and don't kill anyone. If your taking lessons of me though I expect you to learn the theory behind the spells. Makes my life a damn sight easier"

There was a flutter of excitement as she went up the stairs and when she came back down having rubbed some cream on her stomach (not that she could see much change—even if it felt fucking amazing) and changed into a pair of leggings with a baggy red jumper it was to see several first years and second years crowding over books their wands out and muttering under her breath.

* * *

The first year lesson look place on Friday after dinner. The first years lined up against each other in pairs, the common room cleared for once and students sat on the steps or on tables with bags of sweets occasionally calling out encouragement or cackling to themselves. The lesson was only an hour and a half (Ginny spent half an hour recapping the theory) but by the end of it she was beginning to think she should send Professor McGonagall a thank you card. How she had not throttled Fred and George out of sheer frustration was something that Ginny would never understand. The first years were dedicated—an attack on one of their own would do that to them but suddenly the five year age gap between them was startling when she looked at the group of boys who had told Neville they were desperate to fight throwing pieces of spare parchment around.

She set them homework (or something that sounded like it) for the following week—she wanted them all to improve as only three of them had actually made their partner's wand fly out of their hands and she was pretty convinced that Ellie had done it by accident considering she'd been looking the other way while it had happened. Either way they needed work.

The second years were marginally better, Ginny lost her temper and sent two girls away for giggling but the rest of them at least knew the difference between their wand and a muggle pencil. The third years tried very hard, the forth years showed off to Neville mostly as if desperate to prove their ability to fight, the rest of the house trained themselves. It took Ginny another two weeks to realise that the Carrows, that Snape, that Draco Malfoy had no idea that their was a rebellion in the making—of her making and that students were being prepared for the fight that was going to happen.

Ginny remembered Hermione telling her that Fudge was worried they were going to take on the Ministry. It made her laugh these days until her sides ached. Because of course Fudge was the one that they had worried about. She'd take a thousand Fudge's over what she was dealing with now.

She was now on decaf tea. She'd gone from white bread to brown bread because she couldn't stomach white anymore. She didn't touch anything that had beef in it, her lamb had to be rarer than it usually was, her corn on the cob smothered in butter. Twice Ginny had smuggled stuff into her bag so that she could eat it in her room late at night when the cravings hit. She was five months pregnant now after all.

Actually it could have been a lot worse. Nobody seemed to notice it. Her uniform was bigger but that could be easily explained away as hand-me-downs finally being thrown away, her mood swings were back under control, her anger was muzzled again. Astoria hadn't reported anything that made them need to contact Aberforth which was good because they still hadn't found a way outside of the castle.

It wasn't good, but it was manageable and Ginny felt like for the first time since the pregnancy she was back in some kind of control. All she had to worry about was Christmas and weather her mother would notice anything or if she was too consumed with worry to notice what was really going on.

Was she a bad person for hoping that she was?

Anyway It was of course that moment where everything was looking up that it all went to shit.

* * *

It was Neville who came up with the plan.

Ginny wanted that on record.

The whole thing was Neville's idea.

"Let me get this straight" Ginny said wrapping her robes tight around her. Neville's eyes slid over her and he didn't seem to notice the bump as she was now calling it in her head—she was taking some sort of pill that was supposed to help and she was using this illusion cream which (though it didn't look like it to her) was clearly working with her classmates. She was sat at a desk in the empty Transfiguration classroom a Muffliato curse on the door, Luna staring without seeing at the crossword in the Quibbler. Ginny didn't look at her or the picture that she knew by now was adoring the front cover. She didn't want to see Harry's face, she wasn't sure she could do that without crying or telling everyone. She had made this bed for herself when she had invited Harry into it. She was going to do this alone for as long as she could.

Even if the need to speak sometimes felt like it was choking her.

"You want to break into Snape's office, steal the sword of Gryffindor and send it to members of the Order via Aberforth Dumbledore who by the way if Seamus is right, is letting his pub be used for every snatcher, Death Eater and lunatic in the country?"

"Yes"

"Neville have you gone completely insane?"

It was a poor choice of wording all things considered but Neville didn't pick her up on it. Instead he flashed her a grin that was half feral. The scar on his face, fresh from rescuing another first year from the clutches of the Carrows was still red and angry. It seemed as if he had accepted that there was nothing in this to lose but his own life and that was an acceptable loss for him. It wasn't for Ginny, she had a bit more to lose than her life and she thought the life growing inside of her was a bit more precious.

"No, look the sword is a massive historical artefact and perhaps might be the only weapon to use on You-Know-Who. Hermione said it didn't she? It's covered in Basilisk venom and that can kill or destroy anything magical."

"And then what?" Ginny said her voice dripping with sarcasm and derision "We use it against him? Walk up to wherever it is that he's staying and then run him through? Neville we are doing good work here, we have a network that works, were training students, we have sleepers and spies this is better than anything we ever had when it was Umbridge and the stakes are a lot higher, you get yourself killed and half of the house will erupt and we are not ready to take on the Carrows, none of them are even the students in my year. Were not co-ordinated and we have no plan of attack this is a stupid attempt to get yourself killed"

Neville looked at her and there was something closed off and cold in that look. Ginny wanted to tell him that the reason she really thought this was stupid and she wouldn't take part was because she was pregnant and the thought of losing this baby—of someone finding out about this baby—was more terrifying than losing her own life in some foolhardy attempt to steal a sword that might not even work anymore. Merlin for all she knew it might just be for decoration, she had never seen Harry stab the snake, she had been too busy getting her soul sucked out of her by Lord Voldemort. But she couldn't say that, she didn't want to say that. If that meant this parting of the ways was happening between the two of them then so be it. Ginny was comfortable and happy doing what she was doing, she was not compromising her baby for anything.

"So I take it your not going to help?"

"No I am not, and I'll tell you this for a start Neville, if you so much as even think about using the first years as lookouts then I will blow the whole thing sky high now. Those kids aren't soldiers no matter how much they want to be and half of them can barely hold their wand in the right direction"

Neville nodded curtly. He was not pleased she could tell. Ginny didn't care either way. This was where she got off the train and went her own way, and she had no regrets.

"Luna?" he asked.

Luna was still staring at the picture of Harry on the front cover, at the headline telling everyone to believe him. Ginny felt a pang of sympathy for her best friend. The attacks on the students for their parents actions had everyone on tender hooks that either they or their parents would be attacked.

And Luna had already lost her mother. Despite her father's…_eccentrics_…Ginny knew the two of them loved each other and would be quite lost without the other.

"I'll ask Seamus instead, we can used Lavender for a lookout if she'll come, she's mastered the Patronus charm. If it's possible can you send an owl to your brothers or at least over Christmas get us some more supplies? If that doesn't bother your delicate conscious."

"Go fuck yourself Longbottom" Ginny snapped her temper getting the best of her. She stood up and noticed that nobody stared at her stomach. Good. They still didn't know. If there had been any doubt in her mind about telling people it was gone now. Nobody would know about this baby until it was physically coming out of her.

She turned and walked to the door before Luna spoke.

"It will work Ginny."

Ginny turned but couldn't utter a scathing retort at her best friend who was looking listless and lifeless.

"I hope so" she said finally. "But forgive me if I think that you'll both be dead by Christmas if you get caught"

And with that she slipped open the door and walked down the corridor her hand finding her stomach that felt big to her even if it didn't look big to anyone. She had four months to go of this.

Already she didn't think she could do it.

Would it be so bad to not come back after Christmas?

"Ginny look!" came a shout as she entered the Common Room still lost in though.

It was Tommy who was dancing around in glee. He pointed his wand at Grace and shouted "Expelliarmous" and her wand flew out of her hand and hit another second year in the face.

Ginny smiled. "Brilliant Tommy, clearly someone's been practicing"

Tommy looked thrilled, the first years gathered around him all of their faces flushed with excitement, the morale was spreading and rising like yeast in fresh bread and Ginny watched feeling rather emotional.

She couldn't leave yet she told herself watching as the Second years took their position ready to learn the Summoning Charm, if they got a cushion to twitch today Ginny would be a very happy teacher.

No, she couldn't leave yet.

She still had some work to do.

* * *

**And there you are, hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**Next Chapter-Christmas approaches and Ginny begins to panic even as she becomes more and more isolated. Torture within the castle becomes more and more frequent within the castle. Neville's plans fail and with it come consequences. Luna becomes more and more worried about her father. **


	13. The Distance

**Hi, here is another chapter, i'm going to keep the note short and sweet this time and just say I hope you all enjoy this chapter. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine just this plot. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 13-The Distance.

Christmas approaches and Ginny begins to panic as she becomes more and more isolated. Torture within the castle becomes more and more frequent. Neville's plan fails and with it comes another set of consequences. Luna's worry about her father increases. As the danger becomes more tangible Ginny makes a decision.

* * *

December came with the snow sticking think to the ground. Ginny thought about her home constantly as she was sure in the last two weeks of term it was all that she cared about. She was sure this Christmas the castle for the first time in living memory would be empty. Everyone was going home if they could and Ginny who had spent two Christmas's at Hogwarts found that she would not miss the castle when she left it and that was perhaps what kept her awake at night as she listened to the silence where once four other girls had been sleeping.

She found that she was devoting herself to the DA. By the last week of term every first year could disarm and levitate heavy objects. A few were having trouble still with holding the charm for long but they could all do it. Ginny set them homework revising the theory behind the next spell that she wanted them to learn which was a tricky find she had seen Hermione do with a wave of her wand—fire in a jam jar. The second and third years were coming along in progress as well. By Christmas the second years had recapped most basic spells to perfection and a handful of the third years had managed to summon objects to them. They would be learning the basic theory behind a useful spell she had found in books that she was sure Harry had been given by Sirius that one Christmas where she had told him that he was not possessed. It involved pointing your wand at an object and moving it so it could be used as a weapon. Ginny thought that this might be a bad idea considering the second and third years but she wanted to try. Forth years were learning the Reduco curse and the fifth and sixth were learning defensive spells. Ginny had promised once everyone had learnt those spells that she would look at Patronus's which was what everyone wanted to learn for some reason.

She on the other hand was trying to deal with the mountain of homework that was increasing. Non-verbal spells were a bitch and a half and the fact that some days she was so tired she thought that she might be falling asleep in the loos didn't help matters.

The cream she had bought seemed to working. The trick of illusion cream was that she could see her bump but nobody else could. How she was going to keep this up when she did start really showing she didn't know. She was quite fortunate in a way—she had always been petite and small taking after her grandmother and her mother in a way that her brothers had not and it was clear her bump was small. It was now noticeable if she wasn't wrapping herself up warm (thank Merlin for the snow that was thick and noticeable on the ground).

Of course she the fact that she was keeping this quiet didn't meant that her brain shut off.

For Ginny was now realising there was going to be other problems.

For one she had realised that she was going to need things. As stupid as that sounded she had not made the connection between this bump and the fact that at the end of it there would be an actual child. Who would need clothes and a crib and toys. How was she supposed to get all that without suspicion arriving at her doorstep? It wasn't even as if she knew anyone else who was pregnant—well there was Tonks but Ginny personally thought (and reading between the lines of the letters George sent) that the woman had enough problems as it was considering her father was missing, her husband had left her (though he was now back) and she had been booted out of her ministry flat for her choice in marriage (as if Remus needed anything else to beat himself with) and was now living with her mother.

Actually, come to think of it Ginny thought Tonks might have it a bit worse. As far as she could tell her family (even the members who she didn't like to mention even in her own head because it hurt to much) were still alive, still working and hadn't managed to bring down the wrath of the Death Eaters upon them.

She was one of the lucky ones.

The first massive thing she noticed was that during the first week of December, Ernie McMillian was gone. Neville (who was still being cold with her) told him that his brother Albert who had been in the same year as Percy, had been set upon and killed, the Dark Mark over his house leaving his pregnant wife in hiding. Ginny had put down her spoon and had groaned at that. She had met Albert McMillan once when Percy was a fourth year. He had been a good friend of her brother's, a fellow prefect and he had been helplessly in love with a muggle born witch by the name of Niamh.

Neville seemed to struggle to speak as he told her and the rest of the seventh year Gryffindor's within earshot that they had been waiting for Niamh and Albert had gotten in the way, it certainly bore the mark of Antonin Dolohov and Ginny upon hearing the name had hissed her hands shaking with a fury that she knew instinctively was not good for the baby she was carrying inside of her.

Of course the Ministry were portraying it as a tragic accident brought on by the fact that Niamh McMillan had refused to turn herself in and one of the oldest pureblood families in the country had the means of protecting themselves. This would be a blow to them and a remarkable shot across the bow. If the Death Eaters could kill a McMillan and get away with there was nobody who was safe. It was like killing a…a Longbottom.

And as she sat and thought about that she realised the ramifications of what had been done to Neville's parents. She understood the recklessness that he was feeling. She also knew that if it wasn't for this tiny little human growing inside of her then she would also be doing the exact same thing.

Not for the first time since she had been pregnant Ginny really wished she could speak to Harry's mother. Her own mother had never been a fighter in the sense that Lily Potter had been, Tonks was also different because she had been an Auror and therefore knew how to control her actions and her temper Ginny knew. There was only one person that she knew that had understood the desire to help and to do something to make the world a better place and yet combat that desire to protect your baby and she was dead.

Fucking typical.

She was about to grab her bag when a scream hit her again and she closed her eyes in a wave of pain swept over her making her gag a little.

The torture was back.

New rules had been put into place during Snape's lengthy absence. Anyone found breaking a rule was tortured. Sometimes privately, sometimes publicly. They had found that out when Michael had been on patrol and come across two Ravenclaw first years being tortured. He'd taken two curses himself before Cho had arrived and deflected the Slytherin fifth years turning one (though why Ginny didn't know) into a hedgehog.

Michael was in the hospital wing. If he got any worse Ginny knew they'd take him St Mungo's. She looked up as Seamus ran past her and she found she wanted to tell him to stop because what good did any of it do? This was life now.

She fastened the clasp on her bag and went out through the side door. Neville was supposed to be putting into operation his half cocked plan to steal the sword today. Ginny didn't want to be around when it failed.

* * *

She was in the Common Room when the portrait hole opened. The room was mostly deserted as it was lunch time but Ginny didn't think she could eat even if the sight of beef didn't still turn her stomach. The second year girl had died. The second year girl who had been tortured by Crabbe had died.

Crabbe had gotten a note in his file and a comment from Alecto Carrow about the fact that at least the blood wasn't 'totally pure'. Seamus had snapped and punched her and he had ended up in the hospital wing covered in Sectumsempra wounds for his trouble. Lavender was with him and Ginny was sat trying to do her homework and steadily coming to the conclusion that she wasn't brave enough to keep doing this.

She was going to have to tell someone. Luna perhaps so she could keep Neville at bay. Her parents…she was still not ready to tell them. It had been like she and the baby had been in their own little bubble for so long and she didn't want to destroy that. She was…she was so fucking out of her depth here.

The door opened and she looked up to see Tommy coming in. One look at his face had Ginny standing up her wand in her hand. Tommy was sporting a nose bleed and his eyes were wild in a post adrenaline kind of way. He was clutching the blonde girl Grace at his side and her eyes were wide, the blue of them obscured almost by the black of her pupil.

"What happened?" Ginny snapped.

"Two first years cornered her in the girl's toilets. Parkinson or someone has got them mobilised anyway I heard the screaming and came in. Used Expelliarmous to disarm one and then I managed to trip the other one, so her head hit the sink. I'm sorry Ginny I just didn't know what else to do. They've…I think they tried to drown her in the loos or something, she's wet and she's not saying anything"

Ginny nodded. "Tommy go grab a blanket from your room and then stoke up the fire, wait down here while I go get something from Grace's room"

She dragged Grace up the girls dormitory and into the bathroom. She ran a bath and dropped the girl in it throwing the uniform the eleven year old manged to take off into the hamper and reaching for the pyjama's that were on the girls bed that looked like it hadn't been made since she'd come to Hogwarts.

Grace got some feeling back into her by the time she was dressed and Ginny brushed and platted the wet blonde hair.

"They tried to kill me" she said her teeth chattering. "Ginny i…I didn't do anything to them and they tried to kill me"

Ginny felt her heart break at the confusion in Grace's tone. "I know" she said finally. "Let's go downstairs Grace, we've only got the rest of this week and then we can go home for the holidays"

Tommy was snarling and pacing up and down but his expression (for an eleven year old anyway) was soft when Grace came back padding to the front of the fire to warm up. It looked as if she had been water boarded in the first year loos. Ginny ran a hand through her hair.

There was a sliver of light and Seamus's fox Patronus materialised out of thin air.

_"__Neville and Luna got caught, by Snape no less. Punishment is the forest with Hagrid. Thought you might want to know. Lav and I are keeping our eye on it but I think the bastard's cracked. Both of them. Snape could have killed him. And Neville's got one hell of a mouth on him. And he's expelled McGuffan the bastard who killed Isobel Crawson this morning." _

The fox turned to see the two first years sat there though it didn't really see them. Or did it? Ginny wasn't sure.

Either way it padded over to Grace whose tears were drying on her face from the heat of the fire and she smiled reaching out to touch him though her fingers didn't penetrate the silver mist. The fox turned back and if it had been Seamus standing here in front of her Ginny would have sworn it would have winked at her.

_"__Admit it, your impressed I know this spell" _

And with that it disappeared.

Ginny laughed. She really couldn't help herself even though there was nothing funny about this situation. Damn pregnancy hormones. No wonder she thought she was going mad sometimes. She forced herself to stop laughing.

"Was that a Patronus?" Tommy asked into the silence.

"Yeah" Ginny said biting her lip.

"Wow"

"Well said Tommy"

* * *

Three agonisingly long days later they were on the Hogwarts Express and Ginny found her heart getting lighter as she was driven away from the castle. She was in a carriage when she felt the door open and she gripped her wand. She wouldn't put it past Parkinson to have another pop at her when she got the chance.

It wasn't Pansy, it was Neville. He looked exhausted but he sat down his hands as pale and as spindly as spiders. Ginny wondered if he was eating at all.

"I hate us fighting" he said finally. "Look…I don't know what's going on with you at the minute but…"

And Ginny suddenly found she wanted to tell him. She pointed her wand at the door, her hand perfectly steady preforming the Muffliato spell that Hermione had taught her as well as locking the door and then burst into tears.

Neville stared at her wide eyed and then crossed the carriage and pulled her into a side hug.

"Don't cry Gin please…whatever it is…we can fix it. I know you've been worried about Ron and Harry and Hermione but they'll make it you know they will. This is Harry, You-Know-Who has never gotten him yet. Actually sometimes I wonder if the lunatics immortal"

"Neville I have to tell you something" Ginny said wiping her eyes even as she found that she was smiling.

"I'm afraid that you'll well you'll be rather cross"

Neville raised an eyebrow at her his eyes wide and gentle and his expression the same as it had been when they had sat on the bench outside all those years ago at the Yule Ball where she had confessed to him that she had wanted to go with Harry and he had confessed that he thought Hannah the prettiest girl in their year and that he couldn't believe that she had wanted Ernie.

Merlin things had been so perfectly easy then hadn't they.

"Neville, I'm…I'm pre—"

But before she could say anything more even finish the words there was a bang that rocketed the whole train ride. Ginny swore standing up as the train skidded to a halt. Neville reached for his wand his face stiff and his body locking down with all the moves of a man ready and prepared to fight.

There was a banging on the door of the carriage and Ginny saw one of the Ravenclaw third years her face streaked with dust and looking a little wild around the eyes.

Neville opened the door.

"It's the Death Eaters" she said her voice cracking and trembling with distress. Ginny felt her heart plunge in panic. She couldn't fight, she couldn't be seen here—she couldn't…if they found out…

The girl took another deep breath.

"They've come for Luna"

* * *

**And there you are, I hope you all enjoy this cliffhanger-All will be resolved next chapter which I hope will come soon. **

**Next Chapter-Neville and Ginny fight to save Luna to no avail. Ginny in a moment of honesty comes clean before she goes home. Neville tries to process this new information and Ginny fights to keep her pregnancy from her family. **


	14. It Only Gets Much Worse

**Hi, so here is another chapter as we steadily plod along through this story. The next chapter will cover Christmas and then Ginny's remaining time at Hogwarts which should be three or four chapters depending. **

**And yeah-the secret's out but more on that to come. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**A MASSIVE THANK YOU to all of you who have reviewed this story, your kind words keep me going. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 14-It Only Gets Much Worse.

Neville and Ginny fight to save Luna but to no avail. Ginny in a moment of exhausted honesty comes clean before she goes home to her family. Ginny also feels something she never expected to. Neville tries to process this new information and Ginny fights tooth and nail to keep her pregnancy hidden from everyone as reality hits.

* * *

For a second Ginny and Neville stared at the girl and then another huge crash rocked the train. Somewhere people started screaming. And then it hit Ginny, they were here, the Death Eaters were here. They were here for Luna.

And she knew having fought them before that they would kill or curse anyone in their way.

She shot Neville a look but her friend already had his wand out. Ginny pushed the girl into the carriage behind her and then they were down the hallway of the train running and screaming at anyone who was there to stay back inside and to stay down.

It was not hard to find out where the commotion was coming from. The back end of the Hogwarts Express was where the girls loos were, the back end of the train had been blasted open and Ginny could see two maybe three tall figures in cloaks battling with various students, three lay on the floor but Terry and Hannah were both battling furiously as Lavender moved to shepherd the students back into carriages. Ginny ducked as a jet of red light whizzed past her. She saw with a pang of both irritation and incredible fondness the menace that was Tommy his hair standing on end fire a spell into the mix. Ginny grabbed him and pushed him backwards into the carriage before shutting the door with an eyeroll. Right now she didn't have time to keep the kid out of harms way she didn't even have time to think about her own child, the child that she was trying to keep safe from the very people who were firing curses around the place. Right now all she had to do was to find Luna.

She fired off a curse at the nearest Death Eater but before she could engage seriously into battle he sent a Cruciatus Curse at her that sent her crashing into the carriage where she had shoved the first years into. There was a pause where she staggered against the seat careful about her stomach. She staggered upright wand in her hand but before she could move her way out of the carriage she saw a flash of dirty blonde hair and the body of an unconscious girl that she recognised very well as the only real friend she had ever had since she was seven.

She scrambled to her feet but another curse sent her backwards. Ginny forced herself upwards again even as she had to use one hand to push Tommy backwards into Alfie because there was a time for kids being brave and a time for idiocy.

Merlin was this what her parents had felt like when Ron had been running around the place chasing down Stones and breaking into Chambers? If so then she really did feel for them.

By the time she had forced herself to her feet and the jets of light and the screaming had died down so therefore it was safe to stick her head out of the door to see Neville bleeding from her arm and Lavender sitting up blood crusting her hair. She bit her lip staring at the door of the carriage where Luna had been sitting catching up with the Ravenclaws. Cho Chang bleeding her arm dangling at a strange ankle was trying to keep Marietta Edgecomb from sitting up, half of the table in the compartment had fallen on top of her and Ginny had to look away as she saw that the metal bar had gone into the girl's leg.

Luna was gone. Her Quibbler was fluttering in the wind the page Luna had left it on still open, her bag was unclasped and Ginny could see her journal still tucked inside the bag, the quill Luna had been using still had ink drying on the end.

Luna was gone.

Ginny felt herself stagger into the side of the wall as she watched without seeing Neville helping Lavender to her feet and Tommy and Alfie stick their heads out of the compartment to begin cleaning up in anyway that they could. She saw Neville turn to her even as the train started up again and she knew that reflected in her eyes was the look on her face.

Neville reached for her and then they were moving backwards to the carriage they had been before all of this had started and before Luna had been taken and Neville was barking orders to Seamus and Terry to take charge of the scene on the orders of Dumbledore's Army. Neville locked the door and with a wave of his wand had the blinds down and Muffliato on the door.

"They came for Luna because of her father" he said pacing up and down the small length, Ginny's hand found her bump. She was not going to hide it not now. Instead all she could think about was if they came for Luna then they would come for her surely…if her father…no never mind that if Ron got caught—

She felt sick at the prospect.

"I know" she said finally her voice shaking, her hands shaking, her whole body shaking. She ran a hand through her hair and felt the nails tug on the strands, she was aware her face was wet. Her other hand caressed the bump that she was holding. The time had come for her to tell Neville the truth, it would not mean anything to her, it would not stop her, but she couldn't keep this a secret for long besides she had been thinking on this for a long time…if Harry or Ron never came back…

She bit the back of her hand sharply against the wave of anguish that was steadily rising at the thought of that and instead tried to focus on the rest of her thoughts, Ron was missing, Harry was missing, Dean was missing, this baby would need someone to tell him about his or her father and Ginny knew that Neville and Seamus would rise to the occasion. She just wanted to tell Neville first. somehow, she thought that Seamus would react…well…loudly.

Besides, she wanted to tell someone, she knew, deep down she knew, that she could not keep this a secret anymore.

"Neville" she cut across the words spilling out of her friends mouth even as she saw that the train was maybe…maybe they were nearing London, and she thought that now was the best time to speak.

"Neville!"

There was something about the tone of his voice that made him turn to look at Ginny and she suddenly found that even as the countryside was turning to the city she could speak her truth.

"Neville I'm pregnant, it's Harry's baby and you're the only person who knows"

Neville stared at her before sinking into a seat.

It took him half an hour before he could form words.

* * *

"I don't believe it" he said finally downing the firewhiskey (and Ginny knew, she just _knew_, that he had gotten that from Seamus). "I just…Ginny, I don't…why…why didn't you tell me before you were so…far along?"

"Because I had to do my bit" Ginny said shaking her head. "And Neville and I mean this was all respect I didn't need you to treat me any different, It took me a long time to even know I was pregnant and then I wanted—I still want to do as much as I could do before I had to stop. And…and I didn't want anyone telling me otherwise, you think I didn't know what your reaction would be if you knew that I was actively working within Dumbledore's Army, why do you think I have been trying to stay on the side-lines for so long?"

Neville gazed at her with an expression that one could say they had seen on a goldfish.

"I could have been…I mean…I would have been a lot nicer if I'd have known" he said softly. "Ginny why did you not…"

"Because I wasn't ready to tell until right now. Luna doesn't know, my mother and father do not know, Harry doesn't know—and don't think I don't know that I may have to raise this baby in secret for the rest of my life Neville because I do. But I need to do _something_ because if I have to spend my life in hiding then I want to turn to Harry's son or daughter and say that I did my bit. And Merlin knows getting it through the heads of some of the first years that they don't have to die for a cause that half of them grew up not knowing about is a challenge in itself"

Neville ran a hand through his hair looking at her his wide eyes anguished.

"Ginny…you…how long do you think you can keep this quiet?"

Ginny sighed. Now she didn't have to hide her baby belly she found she could take off her robes and sit in her jumper and skirt and place a hand on the belly that was now nearly five months along give or take a week or two. Neville sent looks towards it as if he thought that she might go into labour there and then. Ginny grinned—it felt like a strange face spasm—it had been so long since she had grinned, and even though her heart was breaking over Luna and the rest of the world outside of this compartment she thought that she was safe with Neville.

"I don't know…I think If my mother doesn't notice I can get to Easter…I mean my due date is somewhere from the third week of April until the end, if my calculations are correct though Merlin knows when…it's not like I can go to St Mungo's over this. I want to get to mid-march—I've planned enough lessons to take it until then and then if worse comes to worse I can get out somehow and apparate….I mean if worse comes to worse I can go to McGonagall and she will get me out, I know she will…though somehow she'll find a way to give me a hundred, thousand detentions over my 'foolish actions', but yeah I hope I can get until Easter, the holidays begin the last week of March and the first of April, and I want to continue until I cannot Neville. There are things in place that I need to see through—Astoria Greengrass is sleeping with Malfoy to get us information, I need to make sure she's safe—I might not like her but fuck knows I don't want her on my conscious"

"She's what!?"

Fuck—she'd forgotten she'd made a mental note to never speak to Neville about this.

"Neville—she says she knows what she's doing"

"Yeah but I don't need shit like that on my mind—Ginny I would never ask her to do—"

"Yeah and she knows it. But Greengrass has a mind and a body of her own and she's doing what she needs to do to sleep at night. Take that away from you and she'll massacre you in your in sleep"

Neville somehow did not look reassured by this.

"Do you…Ginny do you not want to tell your parents?"

Ginny let out a harsh laugh.

"My parents who are currently being watched because Ron is somewhere with Harry? Because they loved and still love Harry like a son? My parents who are already estranged from one of their children, who had Greybeck ravage another one months ago? My parents who have been on a knife's edge for so long? Oh yeah Neville I'm gonna go home tonight and say that I have secretly been hiding the fact that I am pregnant with Undesirable Number 1's child?"

Neville nodded not saying much for a long time until they were pulling into the station.

"Are you prepared?" he asked as Ginny grabbed her trunk. Suddenly he was there pulling it down for her. "Do you have…things? Like a crib and blankets and clothes and stuff like that? I mean aren't you supposed to take like pills or something?"

Ginny shook her head as a sliver of doubt hit her in the stomach. It was only now she was sharing this huge secret that she was aware that she had been in denial for so long. There were a lot of things she needed but she couldn't get without her parents knowing—and she knew—_she knew_—that she was not ready for them to know. She was not ready for them to know—not ready for the crying and the rows and the conversations and the fact that she had four over protective brothers at home and two more out there somewhere. Already her head was throbbing with the thought of it. But she knew, she knew deep down she was woefully unprepared.

And she needed to get a grip on that—now.

"Neville"

It was a plea.

The train was now rapidly emptying, Ginny exited and pretended she didn't see out of the corner of her eye Tommy running to his father who had the same high cheekbones he did or the fact that there was nobody to greet Luna.

Neville touched her wrist and she turned to stare at him.

"Neville, I ask you to keep this quiet for me"

Neville gave a sigh. "Ginny, I won't betray your confidence. Not now anyway. But I do think that this is going to blow up in your face. And we need to sit and talk about what we do in the New Year. If you come back. Now they've got Luna…well…we know what their capable off. We need to find places to hide"

Ginny nodded. She could see her mother bopping up and down in the background trying to see her. And it looked like she had brought the entire family.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

She touched Neville on the chin once and then turned away clutching her robes tight over her belly. She had spent twenty galleons on this damn illusion cream so nobody but her could see and feel her belly unless she wanted them too. Now was the time to see if it worked.

Her mother's hug was tight and Ginny closed her eyes wishing it was over.

When her mother pulled back she took in stock of Ginny. She saw the crease between the eyebrows and she blurted at least one truth out before her mother could open her mouth to ask any kind of questions.

"They've took Luna"

That was a good enough distraction.

* * *

That night she sat at the table in a jumper that might have once upon a time belonged to Charlie. It fit over the bump and she wore her loosest leggings. The conversation about what had happened at Hogwarts, Luna and the fact that Ron, Harry and Hermione had broken into the ministry had dominated the conversation. The debate over how long they would be able to keep going about their day to day lives. Ginny managed to deflect as much as she could and it was made easier by the knowledge that Bill and Fleur were going to spend Christmas away from the family—something her mother could clear be wound up on.

Ginny could see the strain.

Right now she was just relieved however that she didn't have to contribute much to the conversation.

That night she laid in bed and wrapped herself tight under the blankets. It was snowing and she now had to sleep without her bottoms on because they were too tight. She shivered beneath the covers and was on the edge of dropping off to sleep (she did not think about Luna—she could not without the tightness in her chest becoming such that she couldn't breathe) when she felt it.

Something…_fluttered_…she felt something flutter inside her.

She sat bolt upright wide awake feeling her bump, her baby and waiting.

A little after two she felt it again.

It was a kick.

Her baby was kicking.

Ginny fell asleep smiling unable to control herself as the snow stuck to the ground.

* * *

**And there you are. I will hopefully publish sooner rather than later. I believe with this chapter we are over halfway through this story! **

**Next Chapter-Neville comes round for Christmas Eve (and more than a few questions). Bill is hiding a big secret from the rest of the family, Ginny learns what Fred and George are doing with Lee Jordan and Lupin and when Christmas ends Ginny wrestles with just what she is giving up and when and how she will choose to do so. **


	15. Undecideds

**Hi, so here is another chapter, I hope you all enjoy, i will endeavour to continue updating but i am now working from home and so therefore updates might be a bit slow. So far i am in good health and i wish each and everyone of you reading this the same. **

**I predict two more chapters or so until Easter in the book when Ginny comes home and then some explosive chapters. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 15-Undecideds

Neville comes round for Christmas Eve (and for the answers to more than a few questions). Bill is hiding a big secret from the family. Ginny learns what Fred and George are doing with Lee Jordan and Lupin and Kingsley in the form of Potterwatch and Christmas ends with Ginny realising and wrestling with what she is going to give up and how she will do so.

* * *

It was a mark of how much life had changed since she had been at Hogwarts, that nobody in the family noticed. Ginny had been sure that she would be discovered within the first few days but she found that as she watched her family carry on that they didn't see what was right in front of them.

She suspected that it was the Illusion Cream because Ginny felt for the first time like she was carrying a baby. She could feel _him_.

She thought about this even as Christmas Eve dawned and a smart and rather haughty looking beige coloured owl had dropped off a letter from Neville asking her mother if it was possible he could drop by later that afternoon. Ginny had spooned a mouthful of her breakfast. She was pretending at least in the morning that she was cold by wrapping herself up in a blanket. She looked at her mother as she pushed her hash browns around her plate and felt a terrible sense of guilt at what she was she was going to put them through when this came out but still she did not feel ready to tell them. There was work to do and her baby boy had to wait until she had exhausted any possibility of help.

And that was another thing, she thought as she pushed her spoon around her bowl. She was now calling the baby a boy.

But she thought that he was a boy. Somehow when he kicked at her (which he was doing quite a bit) she found that she was seeing the baby as a real person. A real thing that would in nearly four months be coming out of her. Through the nights that she had lay there in her bed and she thought about her baby and she knew that she was thinking of him as a boy.

It was half genetic and it was half wishful thinking. Ginny didn't care—not really if it was a boy or a girl—she wanted a healthy baby, a healthy baby and a safe place where she could sleep and raise her child in peace. Already so much was being compromised. All Ginny wanted was a healthy child.

But when she thought about it, her hand stroking her stomach and unable to stop the smile that came to her face when she felt the baby kick as if it too knew that it's mother was there and giving it comfort, she thought it was a boy.

Genetics also came into it somewhat. She had been the first Weasley girl born into the family in two generations. She had been surrounded by brothers and uncles for years. She had never really had many girl friends either, Hermione, Luna, Tonks to some extent (she was sure as hell not going to say Astoria) but she knew how to work around boys, how to live with boys, how to deal with boys.

She was not sure what she was going to do if the baby was a girl.

Also, when she thought of the baby she thought of a boy, she thought of a boy with bright green eyes but with Harry's mop of black hair which never lay flat. She thought of him zooming around a toy broomstick and putting him to bed seeing the baby that his father had never been. She told herself that she would not care whatsoever weather or not this baby was a girl because she could also see a red headed baby with brown eyes who would hang on her father's arm and giggle and moan about being two young to go to Hogwarts.

Her mother would have called it a sixth sense though her standing here and thinking it was a boy.

Harry would have called it love.

Harry would have done a lot of things.

"Ginny" her mother said pulling her out of her headspace. Her mother stared at her and Ginny subconsciously pulled the blanket around her waist so that her bump was hidden. The Illusion Cream was supposed to hide it from sight (it was used by female auror's after all) but her mother had always been able to cut through the hippogriff shit and read her like a book—Ginny supposed it came with having six boys before you had a daughter shot her another long look. Ginny knew they were dancing on the edge of a cliff edge that neither one of them could come back from—if her mother asked then Ginny was not going to lie, but she did not want to. She did not want Molly Weasley to ask that question.

"Yes Mum?"

"Neville is going to come for Christmas Eve. I've told your father but I'd prefer it if he did not spend the night. I know Augusta has raised a fine gentleman but with the current climate the way it is…well…let's say I would be happy if our house was family only for a while" with that she turned back to her soup and Ginny swallowed a mouthful of tea coming to the conclusion that her father had been worried his daughter and Neville would be romping around in the sheets and that her mother wanted all of her family behind a locked door at night. She could laugh at one and cry at the other. She swallowed.

"I understand Mum" she said finally. "Trust me I do"

"Ginny…err…forgive me…have you been putting on weight? I mean it looks like—"

"I've been comforting eating" Ginny said in a rush. She knew her mother well, she knew that she was on the cusp of asking what was wrong and she couldn't have her ask it. Neither one of them were ready for the answer. So instead she went with as much of the truth that she could go for.

"I'm alone in that dorm and it's…it's hard. And I'm worried about Ron and—"

Her mother abruptly waved her wand and a pack of leeks fell onto the floor. Ginny saw her mother place them bending down and wincing and then she smoothed down her red hair (and when was it greying at the edges? Since when did that happen?) and then when she turned back to Ginny, Ginny knew that her mother was only half paying attention.

Hating herself she excused herself and ran back up to her bedroom. She watched the snow on the ground stick and the soft noise the gnomes made as they crunched across the garden their little feet ruining the perfect white snow that had fallen in the night.

There was no excuse to how much she was going to hurt her parents when the truth came out. But she couldn't…she couldn't give up yet. She had a duty to the children that had been placed in her care and she could not let them down. But as she stood there her hands on her belly she thought that once she got the first years to cast as close to a patronus as they could then she would go to McGonagall and tell her everything. If that never happened she would get to the end of March and tell her everything. The Easter holidays started with the last day of March. If she got to that without showing then she would take it. Either way. She was now prepared.

But was she?

She was not prepared for a baby, there was no crib, there was no blankets or clothes or nurseries, there were no stuffed animals. And more to the point there was no father in the picture.

It shouldn't have mattered as much as it did.

But it did matter.

The whole preparedness of the baby's arrival didn't matter. At any given time they might have to go into hiding, it was a bit difficult to transport a crib and other things such as toys and clothes when the Death Eaters were knocking at the door. She forced herself to breath again staring out the window.

She stayed there for a very long time.

* * *

Neville arrived at half ten. Ginny was still asleep and she came to wake with a sleepy kind of contentment that never lasted more than ten seconds after waking. She saw out of the corner of her eye sleep filling them and she opened them to see a man standing there facing the window his hands behind his back. She could see the dark hair standing up and for one glorious second she thought that Harry had somehow despite all the dangers had come back to her and was waiting. He'd turn with that crooked smile and then snuggle under the bed covers with her and his hand would find her belly and he would laugh as he felt their baby kick against the thin skin of her stomach.

But it wasn't Harry.

It was never Harry.

It was Neville.

"Merlin" she said sitting up and rubbing a hand across her face to dispel anything that was left of the sleepiness. Neville turned to look at her, his eyes slid down her stomach and then back to his face. He looked decades older than he actually was and Ginny wondered if that had been his father's face before his father had been tortured into madness.

"Good morning to you too. Your mother let me in. She seems…out of sorts…I suppose it's the worry. My Gran actually hugged me the other night. I can see why you don't want to tell them and why they haven't see it"

"Nev"

"Ah I put a charm on the door. Don't know how long it's gonna last but we need to clear up a few things before we go back to Hogwarts"

"There is nothing to clear up Neville. My plan is still what it has always been and nothing you say is going to change that"

Neville nodded.

"What if I said it was mine" he said finally in a rush. "I could say that and you could come back to school and—"

Ginny laughed, she couldn't help herself. Neville watched her with a rather hurt expression and Ginny suddenly felt her heart (and her stomach heave a little).

"Neville" she said finally sitting up so that her belly was straining against the confines of her shirt. "That's sweet really it is and I'm grateful that you'd do that for me but it wouldn't help. This baby would still be a target simply because I am Ron's sister. Or because my family are the biggest Blood Traitor's around. At some point we are going to have to go into hiding. My mother and father are doing their best to keep us from knowing that fact but I think the days were I had a childhood went two years ago when Harry came back from that maze. Also…with the greatest respect Neville your also a wanted target. You've been making the Carrows life hell and you know one day Bellatrix Lestrange is going to want to finish what she started all those years ago. Besides, he's Harry's baby, he's always been Harry's baby, I have to keep the faith that Harry will come back to see him one day—besides" she added slyly. "Nobody would really believe it. And you'd break Hannah's heart"

Neville went pink. "Oh you think that do you?" he asked in a way that told Ginny he was squirming inside with pleasure at the thought of it. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Oh honestly Neville use your eyes. Give me a minute as well because I have to go and pee and find a jumper that covers the bump"

Neville nodded and when Ginny came back he was reading the label of the Illusion Cream with wide eyes.

"I had no idea stuff like this existed. Does it really work? I'd have thought your mother would have seen right through it?"

"Trust me it works, I've been here a week and anyone has yet to notice. It apparently makes me look like I've just put on some small weight gain. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do it. And don't ask me why I don't tell them. I go downstairs and tell them I might as well kill them both know. I need time. I need to keep him safe for as long as possible. Don't ask me to explain it. I think it might be a mother thing but…" she shook her head feeling close to tears with all of these emotions that were bottling up inside her and she found that she could not breath. Neville perhaps hearing the tremor in her voice decided to not comment on it. Instead he sat down on the windowsill and things remained quiet for as long as possible. Ginny rubbed some more cream on her stomach. Neville watched though there was nothing sensual about the moment. In fact until he spoke Ginny hadn't realised he was watching her at all.

"It does seem to work" he said carefully. "You look like you've been eating desert every night for months but you don't look…with child…"

"Good" Ginny said. It was good to hear it from someone who knew. She stood up and massaged her bladder again. Fuck. This baby was now firmly jumping up and down on her bladder.

"Him huh?" Neville asked when Ginny washed her hands and came out of the bathroom. "You think the baby is a boy?"

Ginny smirked sitting cross legged.

"I don't know. But when I picture the baby in my head it's a boy. To be honest though Neville if I have a healthy baby and I'm safe and secure and with my family when I deliver him then I'm going to be happy. But sometimes…I don't know when the baby started kicking then I thought of It as a real person and when I thought of that real person I saw a boy"

Neville said nothing for a very long time and then when he spoke it was with a lighter tone than he was used to. He reached for the bag that was at his side and pulled out a parcel.

"Well I picked up a couple at the muggle book store" he said with a shy smile that reminded Ginny in a way that nothing else had of the boy who had blushed painfully and had looked down at her feet when he had asked her to be his date to the Yule Ball. She looked down and saw three books all to do with motherhood and then to her utter amusement one on baby names and a little stuffed duck in soft yellow with an orange beak that was perfect for a baby to clutch to. Soon her amusement turned to emotion and to her mortification she found herself near tears again. Damn hormones. Neville patted her awkwardly on the back.

"Look…I won't tell anyone. Parvati and Lavender have been chomping at the bit to do more as has Cho, I can cover your…inaction…you can carry on teaching but Ginny…if I think your in danger, if your captured by the Carrows…all bets are off"

Ginny nodded taking that for what it was.

"I appreciate that Neville"

They sat there on Ginny's bed for a little while before she wiped her eyes. Neville being the gentleman didn't comment on it. Instead when she stood up it was to reach for her shawl.

"Come on" she said jerking her head downstairs. "My mum will want to feed us and the more time we spend up here the more she's going to think that we are ravaging each other between the sheets"

Neville choked on his tongue.

* * *

Christmas came and went with little to affect the Weasley family. Ginny received a new jumper, a red one of the softest wool that privately she knew would be easy to stretch over her stomach. Fred and George had gotten her a pair of shoes that were made of a dark purple suede and had the heel cut out of that Ginny couldn't help but fawn over because they were high heels and she knew that while her ankles remained unswollen she would wear until she couldn't. Bill and Fleur (remaining firm on their desire to spend Christmas with themselves and not family—though why Ginny could not see) had sent her a soft set of purple pyjama's with fuzzy socks and a body cream that smelt of lavender that Ginny knew from the little kick she got when she smelt it, the baby would agree with. She got from Charlie a stuffed dragon and a leather bound journal and she noticed that there was a quill wrapped in paper that Errol had delivered. Ginny had claimed it was from Neville but she did wonder weather or not it was from Percy. She didn't think it was from Ron, and Harry knew her better than to get her a new quill.

She kept it. Life was too short and life was too hard. If Percy wanted to send her something then she wasn't going to turn it away. She thought it came with growing up.

Besides. She was running out of family, better or worse.

Lupin and Tonks spend New Years with them. Lupin was looking lined and greyed more than usual but when Tonks exclaimed during a mouthful of her cheese and tomato canape that she could feel the baby kicking, Lupin nearly threw his into the light behind him and placed her hand on the bump his expression becoming one of joy rather than the concern that had always prematurely lined his face. Ginny watched them. She was avoiding Tonks as much as she could simply because she knew the other woman would be able to see through her more than Ginny was prepared for. And if she was being honest with herself then she didn't want to be near the happy couple. It was pain upon pain, a mockery of all that she would give her right arm to have. She wanted nothing more to do than to reach for Harry who should be standing there in the kitchen with a mug of cocoa, he would smile and reach for her rounded belly and she wouldn't be in hiding at the bottom of the stairs or seeing in the new year watching the stars in the clear sky from her open bedroom window, feeling her baby kick and feeling the tears dry on her face.

It was inevitable that she would find out.

Well actually it wasn't because Fred and George told her, they told her about Potterwatch, they told Bill and Charlie as well and Ginny had left the room because there was a time and a place and neither one of her twin brothers needed her joining in.

She slipped back up to her bedroom and went to the bathroom. Merlin this constant peeing was getting irritating.

Ginny couldn't judge her brothers, she thought as she dragged her trunk back onto her bed and began to pack ready for the train ride back to school the day after because quite frankly, she was already behaving quite recklessly enough as it was.

The baby kicked inside of her.

Ginny's mouth twisted, it was almost like her boy agreed with her.

* * *

**And there you are, i will try and update as soon as i can. I wish everyone well. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny goes back to Hogwarts and lays the groundwork for her escape and her rebellion. Patronus charms are now being cast and Hagrid becomes the latest casualty at Hogwarts. **


	16. We Happy Few

**Hi, so another chapter and a short and sweet authors note to accompany it. Next chapter will be the last of Ginny at Hogwarts before she goes home for Easter. Speaking of Easter i wish you all a happy one with lots of chocolate. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**Also i wish you all reading this to stay safe and stay well. I will try and update sooner rather than later. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 16-We Happy Few

Ginny goes back to Hogwarts and lays the groundworks for her continued rebellion and her escape if something were to happen while she is at Hogwarts. Patronus charms are now being cast and Hagrid becomes the latest casualty of war at the school.

* * *

The train ride back was muted. For the first time (and that included Umbridge) Ginny felt disheartened to go back. The snow was still thick upon the ground but a thin sheet of persistent rain had hit as they left London and Ginny just knew the courtyard was going to be a dangerously icy rink when they got of the carriages.

There were heartbreaking absences. Luna had been taken captive by the Death Eaters, Susan Bones had now gone into hiding with her family. She had lost an Uncle in the First Wizarding War and an Aunt in the second and her father the last of the Bones siblings had been in weak health before that. Parvati's whose own father had been confined to bed over Christmas was also morose telling how she had ran into Jack Sloper as she had come on the train who had told her that Dezmela Robbins the muggle born girl Ginny had come to be quite close with last year was now on the run having been spotted and losing both her parents and how Ritche Coote was also missing.

Ginny though her heart broke for all those involved, had bigger things to worry about quite frankly.

Ginny was very aware of the fact that she was now getting to be quite visibly pregnant. The Illusion Cream was still working it's magic but she was aware in the way only a teenager could be that people were staring. She did look overweight, she also looked drawn and pale and quite weepy as she always was these days and she knew that more and more people were losing faith in the cause that Harry had dedicated so much and had lost so much too. Time had stretched on this year without ending and she thought that she as Harry's girlfriend (ex—her brain reminded her helpfully—his ex girlfriend) and Ron's sister she thought she was the one who was getting the most looks.

She refrained from touching or rubbing her stomach knowing that even if the people in surrounding her couldn't see the bump they certainly would notice if she was rubbing her stomach as if she had an ache. But the problem was it was hard. She had been used to in the privacy of her own bedroom rubbing her bump, the marks that were showing upon her skin were getting redder and they were aching in a way she had never felt before. The robes hid most of the bump but her skirt was rubbing her tightened skin raw even when she sat down. She dreaded to think what she was going to look like when she got this skirt off.

The baby kicked. Ginny winced. The kid was seriously going to town on her bladder right now. There was a pause where she sat there and then the baby kicked again as if he found the journey of the train too slow. Neville who was in the same carriage as her looked up from where he was writing what looked like his Charms essay. He caught Ginny's eyes and the grinned once looking more like the boy she had gone to the Yule Ball with rather than the man that he was now with the scar on the back of his hand and the burn from the curse on his collarbone.

"Some of us have to think about our NEWTS…all in all they are still going ahead."

Ginny snorted at the irony and turned her attention to the window. there was a pause and then Neville spoke again.

"So I got you something else" he said into the silence. Ginny turned to him and then Neville pulled out of his bag something wrapped in paper tissue and poorly wrapped to boot. Ginny took it and opened it. She grinned. Not for the first time she was glad that Neville had adopted the cautious habit of locking the door, casting silencing charms over it and then dropping down the blinds.

It was a tiny outfit for a baby, it was red with a big smiling yellow lion in the middle of it. Ginny found she couldn't speak as she looked at it. It was the first piece of clothing she had gotten for her baby and she thought that had Harry been there—she shook her head staring at the red fleecy fabric and fighting the urge to cry for so many different reasons even though she knew that it would do nothing good.

"I got it from a muggle shop over New Years, I mean because it was a muggle shop they didn't have one for Gryffindor but I figured this was as good as I could get. I know your probably gonna find clothes yourself and all but…well…when you go into hiding it might be years before we see each other again…"

Neville didn't comment on the fact that they might never see each other again and neither did Ginny. Never before had she been more aware of the fact that the life that she had taken for granted for nearly seventeen years was gone. She was sixteen, she was a solider in a war where there was no end in sight and more to the point she was pregnant with the baby of the number one man that the enemy wanted dead. Her life even without those things was going to change, but if she did get a chance to live outside of going into hiding then it could be years until she did a normal thing.

Instead of acknowledging this she stood up and hugged him. Ginny tried to say a lot of things in that hug and she thought that Neville understood. He buried himself within a copy of a Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts soon afterwards and Ginny looked out of the window reminding herself sternly that she had grown up with six brothers and that her bedroom at the school awaited for when she wanted a good cry.

That night in her dorm room she took out her knitting needles. Hermione had left stuff at the Burrow including the wool and the needles she had used to make hats and gloves and other such assortment of things for both the house elves and for herself when she got good at such things. The needles were still enchanted and Ginny watched as she thought of what she wanted them to knit. By the time she had brushed her teeth and had gone for the umpteenth time to the bathroom to pee a pair of white socks were already folded on the bed and a white hat fit for a little baby was being made.

That night when she slept she did not cry. She smiled.

And mercifully the baby kept of her bladder.

* * *

The aim of the game was to keep the students learning as much as they could. With the grounds now being patrolled by Dementor's and Hogsmeade visits being restricted there was never a time more than to teach people how to use the Patronus charm.

It was bloody hard though. Most sixth and seventh years knew the theory and therefore could cast the charm, within seconds of demonstrating Seamus's fox was joined by Lavender's small rabbit and Parvati's badger. Neville was still struggling with anything other than puffs of smoke but towards the end of the first week back everyone even the younger students could create puffs of smoke and two fifth year girls and a sixth year boy managed to send a donkey, a basset hound and a monkey sauntering throughout the common room. By the time the common room cleared it was past midnight and Ginny could feel each time she climbed upstairs weather or not she was teaching or having an early night. She found that she was sleeping easier. She found that her head hit the pillow and stayed there from night until morning and on some weekends it was a struggle to get out of bed for anything other than food.

She got through those dreamy weeks in January as the weather was bitterly cold by pretending to Lavender and Parvati that she wanted some time alone, and they left her to her own devices. She knew they thought that this war was catching up with her. They had all had their months of lethargic energy where they could barely get out of bed. Ginny knew that even though they didn't act like it they were still kids fighting a war that in reality was not designed for them.

The baby kicked heavily on her bladder. She could feel sweat drip down her back whenever she was in classes despite the cold temperature and she felt like she was constantly on the edge of tears.

She wanted to be on her own constantly. She didn't want to sit there at the table in the common room or in the library and paste on a smile and pretend it was going to be ok. She wanted to sleep and cry and break apart in the privacy of her own room. After a lifetime of six brothers and battling to keep your emotions down and of shouting rather than crying Ginny finally allowed herself to weep in a way she had never done so before.

She cried for the life that she had, for the one that she was heading towards and then perhaps more importantly for the one that was growing inside of her. There was something about how the baby moved inside her that brought home the fact that there was a very good chance Harry would never see this baby in his life. There had been no news on him since he had last been seen and he had been seen in the Ministry of Magic causing utter chaos for reasons that were beyond Ginny's understanding. She was holding onto the comment Seamus had made rather sharply when some third year had asked, that no news was good news and that if something had happened it would be all over the Prophet faster than you could say Quidditch. Ginny found that she was clinging to that.

There were heartbreaking absences though, Dean had been mentioned on the latest Potterwatch as still on the run but with the deaths of many muggleborns Ginny couldn't help but think it was only going to be a matter of time before they caught up with Dean, before they caught up with Ron and Hermione and Harry.

It was hard to do the mundane things as January turned into February. She tried to focus on the day to day things but she had no idea what was going on around her sometimes. She had wanted to go and see Hagrid but she had a feeling she would dissolve into tears as soon as she saw the kind smile that he was offering every time he was in the Great Hall. She knew he was up to something, half of the first years seemed to be going to see him more than usual and on the first day of February she got her answer when she was awoken in the night by Grace crashing into her room her blonde hair askew.

"Ginny! There here for Hagrid!"

Ginny had been drifting off safe and snug under the blankets, it had been a good night because the baby had not been kicking as much which made sleeping a whole lot easier. She bolted upright wand in hand only to receive a very hard kick directly in her bladder region that had her wincing. The baby had started. She snuck a hand under the covers so that she was rubbing the skin her hands bitter.

"What?"

"They know, Death Eaters, Ministry whatever, they know, they know that Hagrid's been throwing Support Harry Potter parties In his hut, I went to the bathroom and I saw the lights and the curses.

"Where's Neville?" Ginny said sitting up. She needed a moment to appreciate the sheer insanity of what she was hearing right now. Support Harry Potter Parties, in a wooden hut. Of course, typical Hagrid.

"He's gone down to the Entrance Hall with Seamus but he said to tell you that he has it all under control"

"Ok" Ginny said unsure of why Grace had woken her if she was not being called upon to fight. Fortunately the girl elaborated.

"I think you might need to come and stop the rest of the house. It's Hagrid, we all like him and everyone wants to help.

By everyone Ginny assumed she meant the trio of terror that were Tommy, Alfie and John who were still chomping to get involved in the war more than they were now. Ginny sighed. A part of her wanted to turn on her side and go back to sleep but then the rational part of her brain kicked in and told herself that she would soon not have a chance to do this. She had to get the first years to listen to her while she still could. Besides…she thought with a wry smile, she could use the fucking practice.

"Alright, go downstairs I'll be there in a second"

Grace scampered off and Ginny took a moment to acknowledge how worried she was. Hagrid was her friend, he was a good ally and a shoulder to cry on, not to mention she knew Harry considered him family. He had been one of the few people who had not stared at her when the Chamber debacle had been over and he had been nothing but kind to her when she had tried to apologise for her role in his false imprisonment and the fact that she had killed most of his roosters. Indeed when she had started sobbing he had patted her on the back, served her a very strong cup of tea and had showered her with stories of what her brothers had gotten up to before she had arrived which had cheered her up to no end.

But really? Support Harry Potter Parties?

The baby kicked inside of her as it to say that he too thought it was just strange.

* * *

It took a bit of wrangling but Ginny got the first years to calm down, the second and the third who were also up in arms decided to burn off their frustration at the world outside their Common Room door by practising their Patronus charms, driven out of curiosity the first years joined in and by three in the morning, Grace had produced once a small silver kitten which had looked around in surprise and then disappeared as Grace beaming, sweaty and utterly physically and magically exhausted had to go back to bed to sleep.

At four as rain hit the window panes most of the house had gone back to bed. Neville showed up with Seamus who had another cut to join the gash already healing under his eye to tell the rest of them that Hagrid, Fang and a half giant called Grawp had escaped into the mountains, two Death Eaters were unconscious and due to Snape's and the Carrow's appearance he and Seamus had, had to hide in the girls loos for an hour and a half.

"Greengrass helped us out" he muttered once to Ginny. "Don't know how she got there but she was waiting as we came running, shut us up in the bathroom and then scarpered. Course she's Slytherin so she got away with whatever it was that she was doing there, but she's got news as well. Xeno Lovegood was hauled off to Azkaban this afternoon"

Ginny inhaled once and turned her attention to the dispersing crowd. Finally when it was just her, Neville and Seamus in the common room she sat down belly making it difficult underneath her dressing gown—though she knew that the cream was still working and raised an eyebrow at Neville for him to elaborate.

"Apparently he was tried to exchange Harry for Luna"

Ginny stood up and went to stare out the window into the rain, neither Neville nor Seamus stopped her staring at the water lashing against the glass. For a moment she couldn't speak as she fought to get herself under control.

"He's alive?"

"Yeah" Seamus said heavily. "Apparently all the Death Eaters saw were him and Hermione, so that's going to be the front page tomorrow, they didn't see Ron so you should be safe. Though how long your illness story is gonna keep up…" he trailed off. Ginny shook her head. She was on borrowed time either way, she had known that before she had known she was pregnant.

"Excuse me" she said and she slipped up the stairs stopping to listen in as Seamus spoke to Neville.

"Is there something going on with her Nev? I know Lav jokes that I don't get women, hard to do that sometimes, but…but…I'm not stupid…I think…I mean…is she…is she alright? He finished lamely but Ginny knew, she _knew_, that he had been about to ask something else, her time, her secret, all of it was nearly running out. Her heart turned over as she waited Neville's reply.

"She's no more better than the rest of us" Neville said heavily. "Sometimes Seamus, I feel like an old man and her dormitory is empty, at least we've still got each other"

Seamus turned his head so it was half in shadow, Ginny could see his jaw working furiously.

She didn't want to listen to anymore.

She climbed back up the stairs in silence, got out of her dressing gown and into bed. The baby clothes were in a small bag that she had packed if she had to run, the dragon, the books, other memories from her time at Hogwarts. This room and this dormitory were empty of the life that had once been filled with it.

She turned on her side trying to get comfortable and just before sleep claimed her (thankfully before any kind of tears) Ginny reached for her wand and muttered the spell.

She thought she saw the makings of a large silver animal giving light to the room before her eyelids shut and she fell asleep thinking it was her usual horse Patronus. It was perhaps a good thing that sleep claimed her then before she got the chance to see where a horse had once been, a prancing silver doe much like one miles away, weeks ago, Harry Potter had seen, waiting for a chance to be reunited with it's lost mate.

* * *

**If it worked for Tonks and Lily i dont see why it didnt work for Ginny. I truly believe over time her Patronus would have changed. Call me romantic but that's what i think**

**As always i will aim to udpate sooner rahter than later. Let me know what you think.**

**Next Chapter-Time moves on, Ginny says her goodbyes, Astoria and Ginny come to an understanding, thje Easter Holidays arrive. Ginny prepares for the inevitable. **


	17. Stranger In A Strange Land

**Hi, so here is another chapter, i want to thank you all for your kind reviews and your kind words and i wish all of you to stay safe, happy and well as can be. **

**And this ends on the cliffhanger that i promised you so enjoy. **

**And there are offically ten more chapters left of this story! **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review.**

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 17-Stranger In A Strange Land

Time moves on. Ginny says her goodbyes, Astoria and Ginny come to an understanding, the Easter Holidays arrive. Ginny prepares for the inevitable.

* * *

It was strange how quickly time flew when you were up against it. Harry had made a comment about it once when they had been in their scheduled spot within the grounds and then had gotten a look on his face that told Ginny that he was thinking of something unpleasant. Those last few weeks of summer, when the weather was golden and yet the world had been so dark and nobody went near the bottom of the Astronomy Tower he had, had that look on his face for a long time. Back then she had learnt not to question it. She had learnt not to ask what was bothering because she had known, she had always known what it was.

She had known he was going to go after Voldemort. She had known not because he was the Chosen One but because of who Harry was as a person. He had been hunted and marked and branded, he had watched Cedric Diggory die, he had lost his mother and his father and his godfather and his mentor. Even if Voldemort had not marked him for death she had known that Harry would go after him because that was just the boy he had been and the man that he had been in the process of becoming. She had known what that had meant for their relationship. What she had not considered was the effect that it would have on her. With six brother, five in this war, two parents in this war with scars from the old one and a boyfriend and best friend standing against evil she had never thought it would be this hard.

Merlin she had been naïve.

She had been naïve about a lot of things.

As January turned into February and February became warmer as March approached Ginny was suddenly confronted with the knowledge that she was leaving Hogwarts and might never come back.

She had taken to sitting on her lunch breaks in the shade of that tree watching the afternoon sunlight glinting of the castle windows and when she had been able to she had spent the nights not watching the stars as she should be doing but watching the moonlight glitter of the lake and the stunning view of the mountains. She had never truly appreciated how beautiful this place was. How serene their school had been, how it had stood there strong and true.

Ginny was not prepared at all. She was not prepared to leave Hogwarts, to turn away from the fight and go into hiding. And now she could admit it to herself because time was creeping up on her leaving her with no opportunity to hide the truth from herself.

She was not prepared to be a mother.

It was easy to say it out loud in her own mind. She had spent so much time preparing for this event always having back up plans in place for when or if she got discovered that she had never given much thought to what she would do if she didn't get discovered. Actually come to think of it she was amazed she had gotten away with it for this long.

Now she was preparing to leave school and become a mum. Actually now she was thinking it there was a slightly more pressing matter that came to mind.

Telling her own mum.

In the end Ginny after many nights of agonising about it decided to just go with what she knew to be the truth. She would just have to show them. All of them. She knew Bill well enough to know that the first night she was home for Easter break he would come to dinner and she knew Fred and George no matter what they were doing in both their legal and illegal activities would come as well. She penned a note on the first of March asking if Charlie could come for dinner as well. She debated…she really did debate on weather or not to ask Percy but she knew her brother well enough to know that there was no way he was going come round their house-quill or no quill the last time that they had seen each other face to face she had thrown parsnip at him and called him a self-seeking son of a Hippogriff.

She turned her attention away from unpleasant memories during those last three weeks. Easter break began on the last week of March and carried on until the second week of April. Neville mostly had the teaching of the house in hand with some help from Lavender and Parvati. Most of them were coming along well and Ginny knew that much didn't need to be done. Everyone could hold their own in a fight against other students. After all what were the first years going to do battle Death Eaters in some battle for Hogwarts?

She was going to put the cream on while she was on the train and then she would wipe it off when she got home she decided. It had done it's job beautifully, Ginny could understand why it was so pricy and why so many people used it, it had given the impression she was gaining significant weight but it had also had a repelling charm in it so that when people had looked at her they had not seen the bump for what it was. The second she stopped using it, it would become plain as day that she was six months seven nearly eight months pregnant. It helped as well she thought as she stared at herself in the mirror, that despite everything her bump was not as big as she would have thought—she supposed that was a sure sign she was not carrying twins which she was glad about. One secret baby at sixteen was bad enough. Two and Voldemort wouldn't have to worry about killing Harry—she'd do it herself.

She also suspected that since she had taken a step back from the fight she was not being looked at as much. Her behaviour in lessons was exemplary and she had not had a reason to cause trouble since Neville had finally caught up with the idea that the more trouble they caused the more came back on them.

Michael was still not out of the Hospital Wing from the last time they had been caught. One fifth year was blind in one eye and there was an increased use in blood quills. It was time to go on the defensive Neville had theorised and wait.

What they were waiting for Ginny didn't know but she supposed in three weeks that wouldn't be a problem she would have to consider.

But there was still one more thing she had to do.

* * *

Steadily over the course of the past months she had been analysing information sent by Astoria. Nothing was enough to make her panic. But she knew that the Carrows did raids on week nights and not weekends. She knew that Snape was always shut up in his office and that Malfoy was at school for a mere convenience and that he had a private floo network set up so he could travel to his house and back. They had managed to smuggle (though it was getting harder and harder to do that since the Dementor's had arrived) to smuggle three more children out into hiding and they had learnt who in Slytherin had already taken the Mark (Crabbe and Goyle), who had no interest in doing it (Zabini and to some extent Nott as well as Daphne Greengrass) and the ones who wanted desperately to get it (Some fifth year boys who were idolising the reign of terror that they could get away with).

The information though had proved resourceful and Astoria had taken to leaving a piece of parchment folded up in one corner on the Transfiguration desk they both shared whenever they wanted to talk. Then one way or another in break they would both get to the nearest girls bathroom charm the life out it so they were alone and then share the information as quickly and as cleanly as possible.

Ginny had spoken to Neville about this and Neville had suggested using Lavender but Ginny had thought Parvati or Padma might be best. Both of the twins were a tad more diplomatic than Lavender who would annoy the shit out of Astoria Greengrass within ten seconds. Neville had taken one look at her and had agreed.

This time Ginny placed the parchment on her desk herself. It was made to look like she was fiddling around with a bit of old scrap parchment but she saw Astoria's well plucked eyebrow rise and then her eyelashes lower against her cheek. Ginny knew she understood.

Astoria herself looked exhausted and there was an edge to her that suggested she was close to tears. A lot of people had that expression as well as the look of someone who would never smile easily again. Ginny knew the feeling. They were no longer the children who had once thought of Hogwarts with warmth and light and laughter.

She ducked into the girls bathroom clutching her books and Ginny followed.

As soon as it was safe to talk she opened her mouth. She had thought carefully on what she was going to say to this complicated woman who had despite everything become an ally in a war that was not hers. Who had put herself in harms way time and time again with little to no recognition and who was caught between where her head was and where her heart was. The complicated relationship between Malfoy and Greengrass Ginny didn't understand nor did she want to. She'd had enough mind games to last her a lifetime.

Fortunately Astoria beat her too it.

"Do you want a drink Ginny?"

Ginny shook her head, even if she could she did not think this the time for drinks. Astoria reached for a hipflask took a swig and then retouched her lipstick even though it was hardly smudged. Ginny watched her silently. She found it wasn't that she didn't trust the woman with her secret. Actually she did. It was rather the fact that there was a good chance Occulmency would be used against her. She remembered what Dumbledore had once said about banding together the four houses and had to resist the urge to smile. If she could she'd tell the old man he was right.

"I wont be coming back after Easter. Parvati or Padma Patil will take over information from you. I just wanted to you to hear it from me"

There was a pause.

"Your brother?"

"No not yet, and Merlin hopes it will never come to that but…there are other things…things at home…it's just safer if we…if I don't come back."

Astoria turned around and leaned against the sink her arms crossing her chest. Ginny took her in. She knew she looked overweight and tired and bloated but she also noticed Astoria looked thinner, paler and her hair was messy as if she had been running her hands through it. Ginny wanted to tell her a lot of things in that moment, about how she had been right all those months ago when she had said that the war was her war as well, when she had said that she would choose a side. She wanted to tell her that perhaps they sorted too soon and that she would have been a good lion in red and gold. She wanted to tell her that she knew they had wasted six years where they could have been good friends, where they had been each other's sparing partners, and that if they both got through this alive she wanted to remain friends with the woman who was braver than a lot of people Ginny knew regardless of weather or not she was a Slytherin.

But Ginny was never the kind of emotional person to say things like that.

"Well" Astoria said finally "We did have one hell of a ride Weasley didn't we?"

Ginny laughed, it was harsh and bitter but it was the first decent laugh that she had given in weeks.

"Yes, I suppose we did" she said finally.

There was really nothing more she could say to that.

* * *

There were several partings that were painful.

It did not occur to Ginny until the following day that there were no more Charms or Transfiguration classes on her timetable, no chance to say goodbye to the two teachers or any other. There was no time to say goodbye to the first years, Tommy, Grace and the rest of them racing off to the train before she could catch up with them. Seamus smiled at her and lifted her trunk onto the carriage and Ginny turned to take in the last sight of the school which had meant so much and had been the source of so much pain and joy for her since she had been a small girl of eleven with a journal in her pocket. She took it all in, in it's glory and when she entered the carriage she felt like she had left the eleven year old girl with the journal in her pocket there as well as the teenager who had spent three months with the boy she loved in the shade of the old beech tree.

Neville caught up with her on the train just as she was coming off. If you had asked Ginny what they had talked about or who she was in the carriage with on that last train ride she wouldn't have been able to tell you. Easter was always a selective holiday anyway. So many students took the time off and so many stayed within the castle. This time anyone who could was fleeing the castle.

He helped her with her trunk and for a second they stared at each other.

"I'll see you Neville. When this is all over" Ginny said softly. She could see the loss reflected in Neville's eyes at this parting as what was in hers. She couldn't say more than that without breaking down completely.

Neville grinned at her his eyes overbright. "See you Gin" he said and then he kissed her on the cheek and turned away, Ginny knew so he could get himself under control before he reached his grandmother.

She turned and left to go to her own family waiting in the shadows of Platform 9 and ¾ and she felt the baby kick inside her.

It was now or never.

She thought the baby understood.

* * *

She hadn't put any cream on and she knew, _she knew, _that her mother had seen it when she walked into the house. She had gotten changed in silence though there was no need for baggy jumpers and jeans with engorgement charms on them.

She came downstairs and she saw that they were all there. She was in a blouse and a pair of shorts. The weather was warm. She placed the cream on the table.

Her father was still reading the newspaper, Fred and George tinkering with some new thing on the table, Charlie in heated conversation with Bill in muttered whispers. Fleur making tea. She looked up and her jaw dropped.

Her mother's eyes, the exact same shade of brown as her own went from the cream to Ginny and back. Ginny saw the exact moment that she knew. She had avoided hugs when she had gotten off the train as much as she could and she had wiped off all remnants of the cream.

Molly Weasley's eyes filled with tears. Ginny felt her own gather, neither one of them were women who cried easily, her mother had, had brothers too.

"I'm sorry Mum"

That got her father's attention and he looked up from the newspaper. Ginny could feel Bill's gaze on her as Charlie stood up the chair he was standing on hit the back wall as it skidded. Fred gasped, George swore. Her father had gone white, and not in the good way either.

Ginny stood there in silence, the Weasley's were all stunned into silence, even the baby was silent.

It was time as the old muggle expression Hermione had once told her, to face the music.

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you all enjoy this, let me know and i will endeavour to update as soon as i can.**

**Next Chapter-The Weasley's react, Ginny gains a friend and an ally in someone she least expects and the family attempt to comprehend what is going to happen. **


	18. The Bad Place

**Hi, so here is the chapter that you have all been desperatly wanting. It was a lot harder to write and get everyone's reactions and Fleur's accent was a nightmare to write as well so apologises there. **

**I have tried to make this as realistic as possible and there is an Arthur and Ginny moment in the next chapter which should make things a bit more clearer. But i hope this chapter met with your expectations as i know a lot of you were waiting on it. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine just this little plot bunny. **

**Please Read and Review, as always a massive thank you to all of you who have reviewed so far it truely means a lot. **

**And I wish you and all your families good health, stay safe.**

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 18-The Bad Place

The Weasley's react, Ginny gains a friend and an ally in someone she least expects and the family comprehend what is going to happen now and what this means for them.

* * *

There was a second, a pure and silver second of shimmering silence. It seemed to go on forever and ever though in reality there was just a second where the entire Weasley family was stunned into silence. Ginny had to admit it was a thing that had never been done before, not when Percy had left, not when they had received the news that Voldemort was back and Harry had been half slung over the body of a boy who had a grin that set many a girls hearts a-flutter. The Weasley family had never been a brood that had been silent as they were silent now.

But the minutes of silence never lasted.

And as she had predicted a long time ago where she had sat in her bedroom at Hogwarts it was a complete and utter shit show.

Her mother burst into tears. Her father had gone a shade whiter than anything he had seen before and his eyes kept moving between the baby bump and Ginny's face as if his brain was desperately trying to keep up with the news it had just been given. Fleur's eyes were wide in her face and Ginny had to look away but she knew that Fleur had put together the pieces or at least as much as she could and the compassion in her beautiful face was too much for Ginny to stand. She turned her expression away from Fleur and allowed the other woman to help her mother into a chair who was clutching at a handkerchief and sobbing away though weather it was shock or fear of what Ginny's life was going to be or some other sort of emotion Ginny didn't know. Somehow, she doubted it was happiness.

Her brothers…predictably…one might add, hit the roof.

"What the fuck?!" Fred shouted standing up and taking a step backwards in shock. His leg caught the edge of the chair and he nearly went down to the floor in a collapse and had it not been for George, his eyes still wide and blown on Ginny's figure, hand grabbed out and steadied him. Charlie who had stood up with his chair toppling over had his back against the wall as if his legs were about to go out from under him. Bill's mouth was half hanging open. Had the situation not been this serious and not with her as the centrepiece then it would have been very amusing.

Ginny couldn't speak, she was utterly devoid of anything as she stood there with her hands folded on her belly. There was not much point speaking anyway. Not until she knew what questions needed to be answered.

It was Bill who recovered first. He swallowed harshly and scrubbed a hand over his face pulling at the scars and making them appear more grotesque than ever.

"Whose the father?"

Ginny blinked. She had been expecting a lot of questions when it came to this pregnancy but somehow she had not been expecting this one. She would have thought that it was obvious who the father was?

Before she could answer George cut across Bill.

"Oh use your brain Bill, it's Harry." There was a pause and then he turned to look at Ginny his eyes wide. "It is right? Because I did notice you and Neville were getting friendly"

Ginny felt a flare of both anger and exasperation at her brothers. Trust the twins to see something and jump to completely the wrong conclusion.

"Yes" she said after a pause where she had to work her throat so that she could form words.

"Yes the baby is Harry's"

"When?" Charlie asked looking perplexed. "I mean how Ginny? When did you and he…" he made an abortive gesture with his hands as if the image was too much to even contemplate.

"The day of his birthday" Ginny said finally. There were no secrets that were left anymore and while she would rather not be having this conversation with her parents in the room she was not going to be shamed into regretting her actions by her four older brothers who all had their own rather colourful history when it came to the bedroom.

_(Ginny knew a lot, sometimes it paid to be the only girl in a house of brothers.)_

There was a shocked pause and then Fred who seemed to regain the power of speech asked in a slightly hushed voice as if they were at the bedside of a very ill family member.

"When did you find out?"

Ginny winced internally. This was going to be the hard part. Because this was where the intense risk for them all had come in.

"I found out when I was at Hogwarts" she said finally. She could feel sweat slip down her back and she felt the urge to sit down, to go to the bathroom again or to go upstairs and lie down but she couldn't. She had to see this through. She owed it to everyone in this room to see this conversation through to the bloody bitter end.

"I was about two months along when I noticed the signs. I…I didn't realise, I thought the contraceptive potion was infallible and I thought…if I was being honest I thought Harry might be dead within three months and…and I didn't know when I was going to see him again and I wanted…I wanted to _be _with the man I loved"

There was a pause as everyone took, that in. Ginny was acutely aware that her mother and her father had said nothing since this revelation. She felt her heart thump a little bit as the revelation hit home. Her mum was wiping her eyes on a handkerchief and seemed to be able to look at her. Her Dad on the other hand was staring into space with a rather vacant expression as if he was still trying to piece together what was happening.

There was another very long and very strained pause and then with the air of bringing the conversation back onto a plain that he could understand Charlie asked the next question.

"Ok, did…you…did you use…protection?"

"Yeah" Ginny said thinking rather viciously about what she would like to do to Mad-Eye Moody if she ever got a hold of him again. She took another deep breath feeling her stomach twist. The baby kicked as if to tell her that he or she was still there, still on her side. It was supremely comforting. She explained what had happened or at least what she thought had happened. Charlie nodded and then shrugged more to himself than to anyone else. Ginny knew that he understood.

"Ok…" Bill said in much the same tone. "So you got to Hogwarts and found out in September probably maybe October and then you did what? You stayed? Ginny why in the name of Merlin's oldest pair of gym shorts did you do that? You must have known you were on borrowed time, and even if you did get to Christmas completely unknown then why did you go back? We were here at Christmas we were all here why did you not tell us?!"

And here she was, at the crux of the conversation she knew she would have to have with her family. The question that she knew could cause deep divides between them for months, perhaps for years. How was she going to answer that question in a way that they could understand?

"It's hard to explain" she said finally.

George gave a hollow laugh, "Oh kid we've got time" he said darkly. "So try and explain to us mere mortals please"

Ginny sighed.

"When I got to Hogwarts, it was like a different school, you think of that time the…that I opened the Chamber, and the time that Umbridge was there, and even last year when there was panic and…and it's hell. Torture is now punishment, first years are being attacked in the hallways. You know that they took Luna because of her father, well she's not the only one. Half of the hospital wing is filled with kids who have been tortured, three are dead, there are people being attacked in hallways and the kids are completely undefended. Someone had to help them"

"Ginny" and Ginny jumped because she had forgotten for a moment that her father was still in the room. He was observing her over his hands that were in a positions she had only ever seen on Albus Dumbledore.

"Do you mean to tell me that while you have been pregnant you have been undertaking missions or whatever they are called within what is little more than a teenage gang under the nose of two brutal Death Eaters and the man who murdered Albus Dumbledore?"

"No" Ginny said because that was mostly true bar a few minor scrapes with Pansy Parkinson. "And I told Neville that stealing that sword was a stupid idea, I've been teaching"

There were several nonplussed looks given at her.

"The students, Defence has been a mess the last few years. Snape was ok as a teacher even if nobody wanted to learn, Lupin was brilliant, even the person that would have been Moody taught us things but ever year it's a new teacher, new methods, new issues. Half of fifth year don't know how to do a damn stunning spell. Sixth and seventh cannot even produce wisps of smoke for a Patronus and it makes us sitting targets. So I did what Harry did—" here she looked at Fred and George.

"I taught them. Classes inside the common room, I got a first year to do a Patronus charm—granted she had to lie down afterwards but she did it. And I kept it hidden, I knew…Tonks mentioned it in passing that there was this cream that the Auror's used to hide their pregnancies if they were deep undercover. And it did the job, I was doing something"

She looked around desperately trying to make them understand what she had done and why she had to do it.

George seemed to pick up on her desperation.

"Gin we can all understand that" he said his voice gentle, "But Christmas…you could have told us at Christmas. And granted we would have all probably had the same reaction that we had now but we'd have got why you couldn't put it in a letter. But you went back"

"I wasn't ready to leave yet. I had to make sure that Neville and the rest of them were prepared. And…and I wasn't sure how to do it at Christmas. How to tell you…" she shook her head. "I learnt a lot during those months between, I didn't know how to be a mum…and now I realised I need help so I am asking you for help now. Help me raise Harry's baby, help me keep Harry's baby safe"

There was an agonising pause.

Then someone moved.

It was Fleur. She crossed the room and then without warning pulled Ginny into her arms. Suddenly she was aware that she was sobbing into her arms. The woman that once she had hated, had liked nothing better to do than to mock for stealing her big brother, had wrapped her in her arms and was rocking her, her hand rubbing up and down her back and Ginny buried her face in that vanilla scented hair and felt the baby boot her bladder with a vengeance.

"It iz alright" Fleur said pulling back.

"We will come to underszand, that is one of the great things about thiz family that I am happy to be a part of. We will support, you, I will support you and I underzand. I underszand the desire to protect your child, and to fight at the same time. It does not matter to me. You are my sizter, and this baby will whatever happenz be loved by hiz or her family"

Ginny stared back at her touched beyond belief and touched beyond words. Fleur seemed to understand however and for that, for this moment of support Ginny knew she would be forever in the older woman's debt.

That seemed to have the desire effect.

Her mother got up and then crossed the room and hugged her with Fleur the three of them that a year ago couldn't stand each other suddenly hugging the other as if their lives depended on him. There was another long pause and Ginny didn't have to see it to know that there were four men who had no idea what was going on right now and an older man who did.

Her mum pulled back so she could cup Ginny's face in her hand, Ginny was aware that her cheeks were wet and the brown eyes that were same shade as hers reflected that.

"Mum"

"Ginny"

And then they were hugging.

"Ah Gin" George said finally "You know we've got your back. No matter what"

Fred next to her nodded the shadow of a laugh etched on his face.

"Yeah…someone needs to teach that little one what it is to cause hell at Hogwarts"

Charlie caught her eye and nodded his jaw working for a second. "If…You-Know-Who doesn't kill him though I might take a shot at him" he said grimly. Ginny took that on the chin of older brothers being older brothers and smiled at him.

She was beyond relieved to get the same smile back.

Bill looked from his wife who was shooting him a look that would put a lesser man on his back with an outline around him and then nodded his face despite the scars softening.

Ginny took that for what it was and then turned to her father.

"Dad"

Arthur Weasley gave a long sigh.

"Ginny" he said finally, "I get it. I do, believe me, I have raised six children in a war, I get it. But…but I ask you to give me some time. Because this effects not only us but the Order, should You-Know-Who figure this out…and he will probably know about your relationship with Harry due to Snape then this entire family including your brother Percy is in danger, I had time to prepare for whatever the hell Ron was doing but this...I love you, I do understand the reasons I wont deny that and I will support you and nothing will ever change that but I ask that you give me some time to think about how we get through this and about what this means because this was never the life I wanted for you and left us in the dark when we needed to know. There are consequences to this decision and you did not inform us, and I ask that you give me time to see past that.

And with that he stood up and left the room walking down the garden path towards his shed looking for the first time in Ginny's memory of her father, like an old man.

Ginny nodded though he could not see her, it was far from what she wanted but it was all that she had right now and Merlin knew it was far better than what she had thought she was going to get.

* * *

That night she went to bed without any illusion cream. She slept dreams of stags and does and babies and above all the green haired man that had changed her life for the better standing there with his hair all messy and his scar red on his forehead throwing up a snitch in the air, for his baby to catch.

* * *

**And there you are. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and as i alway say i will endevour to publish the next one sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-Arthur and Ginny take a moment, Ginny is reaquainted with what's been going on while she's been at school and the Weasley's share a night together of peace in the Burrow before it all goes to hell. **


	19. Regrets

**And there you all have it another chapter and not long to go! As always i will try and update sooner rather than later and i want to thank you all for your kind reviews that truely mean more than words at this diffiuclt time. I hope that everyone reading this stays safe and well. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 19-Regrets

Arthur and Ginny have a moment, Ginny is reacquainted with what's been going on in the wider Wizarding World while she has been at school and the Weasley's share a night together of peace in the Burrow before it all goes to hell.

* * *

Whatever Ginny had expected when she had told her family of her pregnancy—certainly what she had imagined anyway—she had not expected what had followed.

What had followed was what someone would call…normalcy.

Her brothers were perhaps the best part of it. They had adapted to her pregnancy like a duck to water. Within a week they had bought in bulk baby clothes in a gender neutral pattern, they had decided to magic her up a crib in her baby room and then they had started the debate over which one of them would be the perfect godfather. Of all the reactions she could have expected not even in her wildest dreams was that one of them.

Ginny had retreated to her room when that had happened because that was an argument that she was not getting into. She wouldn't tell them that she knew Harry's first choice would be Hermione and Ron, she couldn't tell them that she was now beginning to believe that, that would never happen and she was not going to tell them that she had once considered that if Luna was never found, if Hermione never came home then it would not be the worst thing in the world to contact Astoria and ask her to be the godmother—at the very least the look on her face when she asked would be something to remember.

But then she remembered that there was a very good chance she would not see Astoria again and she had to think of something else.

As the first week of the Easter holidays came to a close Ginny became aware of the tightening restrictions. She knew that soon enough the family would have to go into hiding, as Charlie pointed out one night over chicken pot pie (her mother now appreciating that Ginny couldn't stomach beef) they were _'the biggest bunch of blood traitors around here'. _Ginny risked a look at the rest of her brothers sat around the table and knew they were all feeling that same surge of pride, the label to them was not something they should be ashamed off. They might be 'Blood-Traitors' but they were damn proud of it and they knew they had been raised right even if that meant that they would have to go into hiding. Even if that meant the destruction of the world and the lives that they had all known. And Ginny knew that even though they were doing a damn good job of hiding it that she had speeded up the process considerably.

And she hated herself for it.

She hated the fact that she had ensured that Bill and Fleur would spend their first year and maybe more of their marriage in hiding, that they might have to raise kids in that environment, that they might never get the chance to have children at all. That Charlie would have to give up working with dragons and come home or stay alienated from the family in Romania, not sure even if he could send a letter to Auntie Muriel's or that Fred and George were now preparing to run their business through hiding—that they were giving up Potterwatch the thing that Ginny knew (despite the fact that she didn't listen to it much herself)gave many students at Hogwarts comfort when they had nothing.

And then there was her parents.

Despite her mother's protests that she did understand and that she had recovered quite rapidly from the shock off finding out her last and her youngest baby was about to have a baby and had returned a little to the woman of old that Ginny had known her as. It was both comforting and a little overwhelming in the same way her brother's response had been. She had expected her family to scream and shout and hate her for bringing this danger onto herself and the rest of them. The very easy acceptance of her pregnancy (once the initial shock wore off) and the fact that she was bringing their normal lives to a close (considering the new law that they would be breaking when she did not get the Hogwarts Express back to school) had been something she did not expect. Actually when she thought about it—the only reaction—though it hurt like hell was her fathers.

The issue was…if Arthur Weasley had looked at her with disappointment…if he had treated her with the distain that many a man would treat his daughter at sixteen then she would have gotten that but it wasn't that. And that was what made it more and more harder to get her brain around. He was perfectly courteous whenever they were within the family—or if she their mother was in the room, because their father would never take an issue with anything their mother was accepting—call it the secret of a happy marriage, Ginny honestly didn't know. But she knew her father—and she knew when he was struggling with something and she could not forget the words that he used when he had told her that her secrecy required time to get over.

It made Ginny pause. Because if she was braver then she would be able to confront him. To demand that they have the conversation he was so clearly sitting on and keeping his mouth shut about but she did not. There was only so much that she deal with at one time and she thought that she had already pushed the boundaries of that so far.

And she was afraid of what that would mean for her relationship with her Dad, who had up until Harry had entered her life at a breakneck speed, been the most important man in her life. And when this baby was born he would be the most important thing in her life.

She wondered weather or not she was tempting fate that she still thought of the human dancing away inside of her as a boy.

But then again there were more important things to worry about.

* * *

The weather was becoming warmer when Ginny started packing her bag that would go with her to Muriel's. It was surprising to her how much of their things her parents had managed to get over there. Actually though Ginny didn't wish to sound ungrateful she was amazed that the old bat was letting them move in with them at all. In the last sixteen years that she had known the woman she had never thought family love and family unity was something she viewed important. For too long Ginny had thought that they were nothing to Muriel Weasley other than the poor relations.

And yet here they were preparing to go live with her, one old woman, two suffering in laws, the twins, potentially Charlie, her and the baby for Merlin knows how long and potentially she would never come out of hiding again.

Whenever she thought of that her hands shook. Once she had worried about keeping this baby a secret—now she was worried about what would happen when it was born. She sighed leaning against the pillows she had stacked against the bed eyeing her half packed bag with distain. She knew it needed finishing but she honestly didn't have the energy for it. Standing for too long made her back ache even more though she had learnt by now the irritable fact that just when she got comfortable she'd either get the bitch that was acid reflux or need to pee so much so she was sure she was wearing thin the carpet that connected her room to her bathroom.

Forcing herself to her feet Ginny carried on packing her bag, the toys and the clothes she had made went in first, some books, both for the baby and for her, her quills and parchment, several muggle skincare products she had picked up along the way of sharing a dorm with four other girls and a bedroom most summers with Hermione, and then she went for the photographs that were tacked above the bed and around the small desk. There were several of the Weasley family throughout the years—the last one had been at Bill and Fleur's wedding before it had all gone to shit and Ron had not been a marked man or a man who everyone thought had Spattergroit. Then there were the ones with the girls from school, Dumbledore's Army, the signed picture of Gwenog Jones that she had gotten signed at Slughorn's Christmas party last year when the world despite having darkness at the edges was still one of the better years she'd been at Hogwarts (and she would be damned if the son or daughter of Ginny Weasley would grow up to be anything other than a Harpies fan) and then she opened the draw and reached for the picture she had kept folded up underneath a book that spoke about the feelings girls went through when they became teenagers (as to detract from nosy brothers) and she unfolded it.

She had Harry had, had the photograph taken during those months after they had brought back the cup. She had kissed him and after the walk (and the several hours of kissing in the grounds that had followed) they had come back to the common room and someone (and she suspected Colin or Dennis Creevey) had taken and placed that in the side pocket of her bag.

She would not look at the well-worn, well traced face of the man that she loved that had not looked like he was running towards death (though she did wonder if he had known that it was a possibility) and closed her eyes massaging her temples and resisting the urge to cry again. thinking of Harry always seemed to make her cry. She blamed a combination of the hormones and Harry—actually that was true in itself because Harry was the reason she was having such strong hormones—when she thought about him and she was reduced to tears. She didn't want to go through that again so she dumped her bag on the floor and then toed it under the bed and walked down the stairs and slipped out through the back door and towards the overgrown garden that was still infested with the dratted gnomes that had plagued her childhood.

And there would be an even limited time she'd have in this sprawling mass that was her garden. In one week their lives would all be on the line once the Carrows and Snape realised that she had not come back to school.

* * *

She was sat on the little bench that was crookedly sunk half into the leg feeling the sun on her face. The bench was crooked and half made because it had been their father's dream one summer before Ron had gone to Hogwarts to make a bench the muggle way. It had took him a month in which he, Fred and George had become overexcited about the hammer, Percy had stood on a nail and had hobbled around for three days afterwards and Ron had gotten dunked in paint.

Their mother had took the more measured approached and had used magic to finish it and had promised to send Fred and George to Durmstrang _("Where you'll both freeze within the month"_) if she caught them using the hammer.

There was a pause where she sat there and then she felt both the sun go in a little and someone sit down next to her. She opened one eye fully prepared to tell whichever one of her brother's it was to leave her alone in the sun but she saw it was her father, she forced herself to sit up smiling on the outside and on the inside cursing because she felt so bulky and tired against the sleekness that was…well…anyone's figure compared to hers these days.

"So" her father said finally into the silence that was punctuated by the birds singing coupled with the sound of the gnomes swearing. "Are you prepared?"

"For going into hiding next week or for having a baby?" Ginny said because she was beyond keeping control of her tone and she was beyond keeping secrets or hiding her feelings or mincing her words. The corner of her Dad's mouth twisted upwards and she thought that, that had to be a good sign. He carried on looking out over the garden and Ginny wanted to speak but she found much in the same way she had been in the aftermath of the Chamber of Secrets, that she had nothing to say.

"I've been thinking" her father said finally into the silence. "About some of the things that you were talking about, about some of the reasons why you stayed. Your mother and I…we thought about joining the Order the first time. Your Uncles went to Dumbledore straight out of their first job and they came round to dinner one Saturday as they always did and they told us. We carried on as normal but your mother and I talked about joining up but we had at the time your brothers, and besides the way Fabian and Gideon described it…they made it look easy. And then—well—you know how that story ends. I never thought about it much before. It's just…I've seen so many girls in your position. Alice Longbottom, Tonks, Lily Potter…all of them young girls who thought they could juggle both a war and a family. It was never something I wanted for you. And they all had husbands and they all graduated Hogwarts to boot! You won't get that chance"

Ginny nodded, she knew that, it had been something that she had acknowledged when she had stared up at the sunlight hitting the glass windows of her school, her home away from home.

"I know this is a huge nightmare for all of you" she said finally feeling her eyes grow wet.

"It's not that" her Dad said finally. "Your mother and I have known for a while that we were going to have to go into hiding at some point. So much of our lives is dependant on weather or not Ron is seen with Harry…you know I assume we are all being watched?"

Ginny nodded. Fred and George had filled her in on that one a long time ago.

"And then there's the added worry of what the twins are doing with Potterwatch—oh yes I know about that one" he said at Ginny's raised eyebrow. "All over the ministry, half of it's employees probably listen to it when they get home. One night they got raided and Lee Jordan and some girl he was with got pretty banged up. They managed to get away just in time and they kipped here for a bit but that doesn't help. And I have a sneaking suspicion that…well…someone on the inside might be taking names of the list of muggle-borns to be hunted because they still don't seem to know the location of a good few of them"

Ginny wondered if by 'someone' he meant Percy but her father's expression had become so wooden whenever he was named, and this conversation was so crucial to their relationship moving forwards that she didn't dare. She had not thought much of her older brother since he had left but she found herself strangely sad that he might not get the chance to meet the niece of nephew that was steadily beating out a drum path on her bladder.

"What upsets me Ginny is that this isn't the path I wanted for you. I wont lie, I expected you to use better judgement when it came to things like this, and even if you didn't I'd have expected it off Harry. I get what it is like when your in a war and you think that every day must be your last but…but even so…following in your parents footsteps should only get you so far. Your mother and I love each other and we have a wonderful marriage and I'm not saying you and Harry cannot have the same future but I wont lie and say I wanted better for my children and for you than a teenage pregnancy before you were even of age"

Ginny nodded. It was hard to take the reprimand but she took it.

"I'm scared, Harry will never see him" she said finally. "I'm scared that he's never going to go to Hogwarts—I don't even know if he should take my last name or Harry's or if the Carrows might one day crack Neville open like an egg—like they did to his parents and he spills the beans. I didn't think it would be this terrifying, and that's before I think about the pain and the actual birth and if something goes wrong. I mean what happens then?"

"Oh it's a boy is it?"

Ginny smiled slightly relieved at the teasing tone, she shrugged.

"In my head he's a boy. I don't know why it's just how I imagine it"

"Your mother thought every baby after Percy was going to be a girl so I wouldn't go around painting the nursery just yet. But as for what happens…well…I cannot promise anything, but I can promise you that this family protects each other and it will protect you and this baby, I can promise you that you will be a great mother because you are a great person and as for what happens if Merlin forbid something happens to you—what do you think your mother and brothers would do let the baby starve?"

Ginny laughed wiping the tears from her eyes. Her Dad let out a soft sigh and pulled her close so that they were hugging as best as they could. They stayed there for a long time and Ginny never saw her mother watching from the kitchen window, her smile soft and her eyes filled with the kind of satisfaction that came when you knew you were right.

* * *

That night Bill and Fleur declined to come to dinner and Charlie left via floo back to the Dragon colony to oversee a Hungarian Hortails birth of a dragon that apparently required his help. They both promised to be back and that left a rather enjoyable night with Ginny, her parents and the twins who were talking rather animatedly about their plans to expand their joke shop from London into a store they had been eying up Hogsmeade once the war was over.

Ginny's mum had overdone herself in cooking all of Ginny's favourites—at least her pregnancy favourites which included for some reason chicken with garlic sauce alongside mounds of buttery scrambled eggs and other forms of breakfast for dinner.

"You know" George said dumping ketchup on his eggs as the sky darkened around them. "You should do this more often Ginny, breakfast for dinner is such a good idea when it's done well"

"Yeah especially when your not drunk singing the Hogwarts School Song in your underwear as Angelina Johnson is dancing alongside with you in a state of undress" Fred muttered with a wink at Ginny who choked on her water before she started laughing. George went a delicate shade of pink and kicked Fred under the table. Ginny knew that despite the fact Fred had been the one to take Angelina to the ball it had been George who had, had the crush on her since his voice had dropped.

Their father sighed. "I should hope that this is the last surprise pregnancy we have to deal with" he said using a stern tone that had nothing to do with the twitch at the corner of his mouth indicating his desire to smile. "But a wedding post the war George would keep us all in a good mood"

Fred nearly wet himself. George muttered something about it _'not being that serious yet'_ and then busied himself with helping their mother prepare desert who was looking rather pleased with the way this conversation had gone.

All in all it was one of their better nights despite the fact that they were missing various members of the family as keenly as they were missing limbs.

That night Ginny closed her curtains and placed her bag on the desk in case she needed to grab it. She had a change of clothes and a pair of shoes by the desk but she did not think it would be tonight. She was prepared for a week from now. Tomorrow she thought leaning back against her pillow as the baby kicked and her back protested again—she would take her broomstick out for a fly.

"You'll love it" she said to the bump. "With parents like me and your Dad how can you not? I was a chaser, he was a seeker, your Uncle Ron was keeper, your Uncles Fred and George were beaters, your Uncle Charlie was a seeker too, and your Granddad James played Quidditch too. I'd be very surprised if you didn't love the game too, not that it makes any difference to me. But if you could play chaser instead of seeker that would be nice, your Dad used to always get targeted by the other team a lot more than me."

She giggled remembering and the baby gave another kick though it was gentler. She patted the bump and then turned to light off placing her wand on the edge of the table next to her.

"Night baby"

Her last thought before sleep claimed her was that she might have an idea about the baby's name. At least his first name.

Had there really been any doubt about it?

* * *

It could have been hours later or not. Time when she was asleep was difficult to track and Ginny was deep into sleep when the banging on her door forced her awake.

Her first thought were the Death Eaters—they had finally found out about Harry's baby, about her baby and they had come for her. She gasped staggering upright reaching for her wand. The baby at being so rudely awakened no doubt began to kick in a fury and Ginny backed against the window ready for a fight her heart in her mouth.

The door opened.

It was not the Death Eaters.

It was Bill.

He was windswept, his cloak askew, his eyes wide and the scars bleeding a painful red in his white face. Ginny looked at him, at the desperation etched in every part of his face and she knew that something had happened. Something terrible had happened.

She forced herself to swallow in the space of a second but before she could ask Bill was already speaking and the words seem to hang in the room slowing down time even as the shock of what had happened was evaporating, even as she was already moving.

"Ginny get dressed, grab your bag and go downstairs to where Fred and George are, they'll get you to Muriel's, we need to go now. They are coming for us. They know about Ron, they know about Harry, we can't let them know about you!"

* * *

**And there you are let me know what you think, i will update soon as as i said in my note above-stay safe. **

**And yeah I am a huge George/Angelina shipper. I don't think that one date at a dance at fourteen means that Fred and Angelina were meant for each other and I don't believe they married each other out of profound grief. So my headcannon is that they fell in love before the war, before Fred and that is what I have written here. Don't like it then that's fine you can skip that paragraph. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny and the family run to Aunt Muriels where several bombshells hit the air. Ginny begins to seriously prepare for being a mother. Lupin brings some news. **


	20. Paranoia

**Hi, so here is another chapter, again a very long one so i hope you enjoy. **

**I have sort of messed around with an unclear timeline. It says that Harry, Ron and Hermione spend a whole month at Shell Cottage and then they go from Gringotts straight to Hogwarts and then there's the battle on that ends on May 2nd however i'm not 100 percent sure how much time passes between the birth of Teddy Lupin and Gringotts so i've made it so that Teddy is born at the begining of the month and Gringotts doesnt happen until the begining of the next month. Hope that clears up anyone's confusion. **

**Also I want to say a couple more things, there are seven more chapters of this story left that i have planned so we are nearing the end and Auntie Muriel was an utter dream to write. Like most characters that are only briefly mentioned or only have one scene it was really fun digging behind the 'Old Bat' facade and getting to the woman within. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine in this story, **

**Please Read and Review. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 20-Paranoia

Ginny and the family run to Auntie Muriel where several bombshells hit the air. Ginny begins to serious prepare for being a mother and Bill brings some rather welcome news from Lupin. Timescale from book chapters might be a bit off.

* * *

Ginny had grabbed her bag and had raced downstairs as fast as she possible could in her condition. Fred and George both of whom looked like they had been pulled from sleep and still dressed in pyjama bottoms with jumpers thrown over them grabbed her, George grabbed her arm, Fred her bag and then before she could say anything or check where her mother and father were or even say goodbye for what might be the last time of her old home and her old bedroom and even her old unmade bed she was twisting in mid air—it took her a second to realise what that meant and then she was slamming downwards her knees threatening to buckle into the garden of their Auntie Muriel's.

"They broke through the protective enchantments" she said her teeth chattering. "We could never have done that if they hadn't"

George pressed her closer to him as Fred wrapped another arm around her. "Gin…it doesn't matter. What matters is that we are safe, you are safe and the baby is safe. Think on that."

Ginny nodded and straightened up her hand going to her bump and waiting. Sure enough the baby gave a strong kick to remind her that he was still there and still no doubt annoyed at having to be woken up from a warm and comfortable position in a warm and comfortable bed.

"Were good" she said finally. Fred grinned his hand coming out to touch the bump. He was the first of her brothers to do such a thing.

"Ah yeah, he's kicking up a storm there. Got the Beater genes"

Ginny attempted a weak laugh as they walked up the garden path.

Auntie Muriel lived in a huge mansion. She'd had rooms that she could never fill and a garden that was neat and tidy. Ginny had never been to her house—her access to her great aunt had been strictly confined to Christmas until Fred and George had almost killed her that one time with the Dungbomb. Ginny found that she was still shaking even as she pushed open the backdoor.

"Was wondering when you lot were coming" said a voice from what she suspected was the corner of the old house elf's pantry. Ginny gripped her wand feeling her heart thud painfully. She was sixteen and already she felt like she was too old for this shit.

Auntie Muriel her hair in rollers, wearing a pink dressing gown with a fur edge that still somehow managed to make her look like a flamingo was leaning against the kitchen counter. She took in the sight of the three of them and her eyes alighted on Ginny's pregnant stomach.

"Merlin Ginevra! Of all the things I could have anticipated you in the family way was not one of them I always thought that French girl would be the one to get with seed rather than you. Hmm…that Potter boy I assume? Oh I know things girl, I overheard the stories of the two of you being close when you were at school. Not as gormless as I would have given him credit seven months ago. Granted I would have pegged him to be dead by now but clearly impregnating teenagers is more important than defeating You-Know-Who. Well don't just stand there and dawdle come into the parlour until your parents and that long haired hippy of a brother arrive"

Ginny blinked. There were times with Auntie Muriel where she didn't know weather to laugh, cry or strangle here. This was turning out to be the former because she couldn't stop grinning.

"Old bat" Fred muttered but he too was smiling. If Auntie Muriel was being old, cantankerous and painstakingly honest at other's expenses then the world as the Weasley's knew it couldn't be too out of whack.

Ginny grinned feeling some calm settle down as she sat on the sumptuous leather sofa and Auntie Muriel waved her wand so that they all had tea (though she seemed to be helping herself to a generous amount of gin instead) and she felt herself relax further when she heard the pops of apparition and her mother, her father and Bill arrived looking windswept and slightly shaken but otherwise unhurt.

They had done it.

They had escaped.

For the most part they were safe.

But that left some burning questions that needed answering.

Fortunately the twins got into that first before Ginny could so much as draw breath and before their mother could sit down looking as if she too wanted a generous helping of Auntie Muriel's gin.

"So Bill what the hell happened?" Fred asked looking around as if he half expected a Death Eater to come popping out of the wood panels that made up the drawing room.

Bill took a big sigh as if he was preparing to speak and Ginny's sense of foreboding increased. She found that she was gripping the arm of the chair she was sat on and her nails were digging into the fabric.

And then Bill said the worst thing he could have possibly said.

"Ron, Harry and Hermione were captured by the Death Eaters last night."

There were several gasps and screams coming in particular from her mother who had reached for their father's arm without thinking. Even Auntie Muriel looked shocked though Ginny noticed it didn't stop her from pouring herself another generous helping of gin and downing it back in two seconds.

Ginny herself couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't breathe, she could feel the pounding in her head and in her ears and she was dimly aware that someone had reached for her trembling hand but she couldn't see who it was between the roaring in her ears and the trembling in her fingers and the white fog that had descended over her eyes. She was either going to be sick or she was going to faint and she had to force herself back to the present and dig in deep to listen to what was being said.

There was a second when Bill's eyes alighted on her face and Ginny wondered if she was about to enter her own private agony, her brother, the closest thing she had ever really had to a big sister, and the man that she loved, the father of her child, dead. There was nothing that would ever pain her such as this.

"But they escaped" Bill said into the silence.

The relief was so intense Ginny thought she was going to be sick for different reasons. George swore running a hand through his chair. Her mother wiped her eyes hastily and Fred let out a manic laugh. "Bill don't you think you might have wanted to start with that and go backwards"

Bill shrugged. "They got out of Malfoy Manner and apparated to my house."

"How bad?" their father asked his voice tight. Bill shrugged.

"Harry's half out of it. Ron's a wreck and they—" he swallowed visibly. "Bellatrix Lestrange tortured Hermione, apparently had great fun with it and if Ron hadn't got there she'd have given her to Greybeck. Ron shouted all of this at me as he carries her half into the kitchen naturally, but I got the gist"

Bill shook his head in disgust. Ginny felt tears well in her eyes. George punched the sideboard making the china rattle, Auntie Muriel threw him a rather nasty look as if she was wishing she could take out his hand as well as an ear.

"But there alright?" their father asked. Bill nodded. "Physically, there all a underfed and in need of a good bath and in Harry and Ron's case a haircut and a shave but yeah they'll all alright so far. They broke out a clutch of prisoners as well. Griphook the goblin that was missing—"

"Well that might do something towards goblin relations though I doubt it" Auntie Muriel muttered downing another shot of gin. Bill shrugged but didn't elaborate. "And they also managed to find Ollivander"

"Good" Auntie Muriel said vehemently before anyone else could say anything. They all looked at her. She met their eyes and Ginny saw her gaze was still steady. "He's a good man and a fine wizard and I have long known him. I am glad that he didn't succumb to You-Know-Who's favourite and most convenient curse"

Bill paused as if he wanted to ask something but then decided to plough on. "They also found Dean Thomas and Luna, both safe, both unhurt"

Ginny let out a sigh of relief leaning back against the cushions for the first time since she had sat down. The fact that Luna was safe was something that brought great relief to her and Dean…just because they had broken up didn't mean that she still didn't care for him. And she didn't want to think that if things had gone differently this might have been his baby (as soon as she thought that however she banished it from her mind because she and Dean had never really been physical and she remembered the gaunt deadened look in Seamus's eyes whenever he had seen them together). She was happy and she hoped someone would let Dean's mother know that her only son was alive.

"What else?" that was Fred and his eyes were on Bill. Bill sighed heavily.

"There was an elf, I think Harry said his name was Dobby? Apparently he rescued them and he died, they were digging a grave when I left but…I had to come and get you all out. Thank Merlin you were coming home anyway Ginny, if they'd have got to you at Hogwarts…now they know that Ron is with you there's going to be a mark on us all"

Ginny nodded her hand absentmindedly cradling her bump.

"And Charlie? And…do they know?"

Ginny winced slightly as Fred deliberately didn't mention Percy. Bill rolled his eyes at the slight dig but carried on nonetheless.

"I sent Charlie a Patronus but Dad I think you might be in a position to do it better, mine was a bit…garbled…but I told him to stay put. He's in Romania so he should be fine, I don't see the Ministry going that far to get him besides he can keep himself safe enough if they do. As for Percy…" Bill paused shooting their parents that anguished and slightly awkward looks they had all adopted when it came to discussing their other absent brother.

"He will know soon enough, and even if I could get a message to him I'm not sure how it would be received. I think either way he's safe. If he's asked he can honestly say he doesn't know where we are of that Ron was with Harry"

There was another pregnant pause.

"Well" Auntie Muriel said standing up and pulling her fur lined dressing gown around her tightly. Ginny was impressed to see that despite the fact she had necked down nearly two thirds of her gin bottle (that had mysteriously refilled itself) she was quite steady on her feet.

"That was all dreadfully exciting wasn't it?" Without waiting for an answer she ploughed on.

"I am going to bed, Ginevra in your condition I suggest you do the same. Take the room on the third floor it has more room at least for a crib, boys find another room, Molly, Arthur I had one made up in the second floor for you. William unless you intend to move in you better get back to your houseguests least they wander off. I expect a full account of this—" she gestured to Ginny. "In the morning. Good night"

And with that she left.

Ginny stared after her for a second not sure if she was shocked or simply bemused. The baby kicked again.

"Yeah" Ginny said finally. "Yeah she's crazy, but she's family. Besides, your Uncles are madder than her"

"Says the woman talking to her stomach" George said shooting her a look that said he thought quite plainly the pot shouldn't be calling the cauldron black.

And with that Ginny went to bed. The bed in the room Auntie Muriel had given her was bigger than the one at home but the layout was all wrong and the sheets didn't have the same feel to it or the same smell. It was not her home.

She closed her eyes and tried very hard not to think about the father of this living thing inside of her who was right now digging a grave by hand for the house elf that had saved his life and who was debating what path he would take that would ultimately lead to the defeat of the darkest wizard in three generations.

* * *

Whatever her mother had said to Auntie Muriel in the morning Ginny didn't know. She took a bath to put off the conversation that she knew would be coming and she felt a bit better when her hair was washed and dried and she was changed into a pair of leggings and an old jumper that was so tired and stretched out it fell over her belly easily.

There was a pause where she sat down at the breakfast table which was long and smooth and polished and she tucked into her eggs and toast without looking up. The clanging sound in the kitchen told her that her mother had relieved the house elf in the kitchen and was making a start on lunch.

Auntie Muriel sipped her tea.

"Arthur went to get in touch with the dragon-boy and the hippie went back to the French girl, as for the two demons I think there doing order forms for that wretched joke shop out of my backroom. Otherwise there creating some something very disturbing"

Ginny thought it was probably a mixture between the two but she didn't want to say so, instead she buttered another piece of toast while Auntie Muriel eyed her with her beady eyes as if she was trying to think of what she said.

"This is the third war I've lived through" she said finally. "I lived through Grindelwald's attacks, the first one, and now this to say nothing of the two muggle ones. You grab each day knowing it could be your last. And I know it was you, that Potter boy might be the saviour of the Wizarding World but he's still gormless when it comes to women. Was clear as day from that picture of his—I have a very strong sense about these things."

Ginny snorted into her eggs.

Auntie Muriel sighed.

"Honestly Ginevra. Perk up, women have been producing illegitimate children throughout wars since time began. If Potter survives the rabble that you call brothers will ensure he does the decent thing. If not then…" and then surprisingly her face softened somewhat.

"If not then it will be a sad day. Either way you'll make a good mother"

Ginny smiled for the first time feeling glad to see the old woman.

"You get it from my side of the family after all"

Then again maybe not.

* * *

The banging and the shouting and the rather colourful swear words were not in fact Fred and George creating a demon child or starting an order service—they had done that according to Fred, the previous night. When Ginny had gone upstairs to her room to lie down she had found a cherrywood crib waiting for her complete with sheets and a blanket laid out for her.

For once it didn't make her cry. it didn't make her want Harry, or want to run or want scream. She placed her wand down on the table and looked at the crib. She knew for another six or seven months depending on what happened she would not be able to use magic. Her wand while she was in hiding or underage was about as much use as the stick of wood it resembled and she signed leaning back against the pillows and eyeing the crib.

She didn't feel scared.

She didn't know what she felt.

Ginny thought if she was to give a name to this warring emotion inside of her it would have been excitement.

The baby kicked as if to say that he too was excited about meeting his mother, as much as his mother was excited about meeting him.

* * *

Bill kept to Shell Cottage as much as he could. Ginny had thought long and hard in the days that followed weather or not she wanted Harry to know she was pregnant. She entertained a mad idea for about two seconds that she would tell Harry and that he would come to her, take her in his arms and promise her that he would never leave her.

The problem was that she knew Harry, she had studied him for years when she had been the scared little girl, the awkwardly shy teenager turned confident and Harry had gone from boy with a legacy to battle hardened teenager to the man with the destiny in front of him that would send him eventually to Voldemort.

He would leave again because he had too, because Voldemort would never stop searching for him. Or he would stay and they would be trapped in a house like his parents forever wondering if the knock on the door was someone they knew or death.

Ginny loved him, she knew him and she loved him and quite frankly she loved herself too much to put them all in that kind of danger. This baby inside of her must be kept safe. Besides never mind telling Harry…Ron's reaction would give their location away to any Death Eater within one hundred miles.

She tried not to think about it and Bill perhaps sensing this internal conflict that still raged within her from time to time didn't comment on it either.

Neither did anyone else and for that she was eternally gratified.

* * *

The day that Bill came to see them brining Ollivander who was still in dire need of attention and Auntie Muriel's moonstone and diamond tiara was a windy one.

Ginny had been taking stock of things that she knew would have to be ordered in however she was finding baby clothes easier to come by especially when they were in the knitted form. She had been unable to speak to her mother about it because every time she tried she got choked up. She thought her mum had the same problem with it because they didn't speak about her actions or the fact that she had hid her pregnancy for so long or what that meant. She thought that if they spoke about it they might both never recover. The support and the love was there and it always would be despite the lack of communication but Ginny made sure that there were lots of hugs and thank you's at the knitted blankets and outfits and little booties in shades of red, green, white, yellow and dark blue, dark purple with stars on—all gender neutral colours despite the fact that Ginny referred in her head to her baby being a boy.

She wondered what would happen if the baby turned out to be a girl. She didn't care either way as long as the baby was happy and healthy and she was sure that Harry wouldn't give a flying bowtruckle either way but you couldn't ignore genetics and feelings. Ginny had learnt that a long time ago.

But it would just be her luck to lose her footing and be surprised. After all nothing about this year had been predictable.

Anyway the night Bill came to see them was windy. He came through the doorstep his red hair loose and windswept to the greeting from Auntie Muriel who didn't look up from checking her tiara and tutting at the way that it had been cleaned.

"Honestly William if it wasn't for the pregnancy belly I would have thought you were Ginevra. I suppose the French girl doesn't mind—men over there don't put much into personal grooming I saw that in 1919."

Bill with ease ignored her.

"Everyone's ok" he said as their mother helped the frail old man who looked nothing like the wizard who had once handed Ginny the wand that was resting upstairs and that hadn't been touched in nearly three weeks.

"Harry and Ron and Hermione are planning something with Griphook which scares the life out of me but they seem to be alright. Not sure how long there going to stay though—" here he eyed Ginny who resolutely didn't look at him even as her heart gave another painful, fearful thud. "And Dean and Luna are ok, bit shaken but Dean managed to communicate with his mother last night so that really helped"

Their father opened his mouth perhaps to ask if Bill had gotten a 'fellyphone' so that Dean could communicate with his mother but Ginny's own mother shot him a look and he fell silent with a small smile and busied himself with asking Bill had he heard anything from the Order. Bill gave a small smile and then nodded.

"Lupin came today" he said taking the cup of tea from their mother who had just re-entered the room. "Tonks has had the baby"

There was a series of cheers and Ginny felt her heart lift with the first good piece of news they had heard since they had gone into hiding.

"Boy or girl?" Fred said beaming.

"Boy and he's inherited Tonks's ability to change at random so nobody really knows what or who he looks like. Remus is like a new man"

"Good" their mother said firmly wiping her eyes again on her handkerchief "That man deserves some happiness when you think about all that he has lost. I told him he was being stupid about Tonks and this whole werewolf baby thing" she tutted at only what Ginny could assume was the stupidity of man or the stupidity of Remus Lupin thinking anyone could hate him Ginny didn't know.

"What's his name" she asked leaning forwards.

"Teddy, they've named him Teddy after Tonks father, Teddy Remus Lupin. Hey if all goes ok maybe his son and your baby will be friends, they'd be in the same year at Hogwarts"

"That will be the preclude to McGonagall's retirement." George said under his breath with a sly grin.

"He's made Harry, godfather. Harry nearly fell over"

Ginny felt her eyes grow wet again thinking of Harry being told he was being a godfather and yet not knowing that he was also about to become a father. She thought briefly of Sirius and how he had been utterly reckless when it came to Harry and how he had looked on from afar risking all just to let him know that someone out their cared. She felt something inside of her glow a little and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes because she knew that nobody would understand the small realisation that had come to her.

* * *

They carried on in that fashion talking until Bill had to go claiming that Fleur would be worried. Ginny watched him go and then excused herself to her room. She shut the door and laid back on the bed her belly encompassing her view. Sleep would be few and far between now because even when she did get into a position that both she and her baby liked she'd have to get up to pee within ten minutes.

She felt another little nudge and she grinned. Granted she had to think of a girls names but she thought she had a boys name down. Regardless of weather or not he or she carried the surname Potter or Weasley.

"If you are a boy and I'm not saying you are, I have to work on it a bit if you're a girl but I will find you a name that fits—nonetheless if you are a boy, I'm going to call you James. James Sirius. After two men who you'll never meet but who were both in their own way wonderful, reckless and loyal fathers to your own"

There was a kick. Ginny took that to mean the baby approved.

* * *

**And there you are, hope you enjoyed it. As alway i hope you are all staying well and safe. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny struggles as her pregnancy nears the end, the news is still dark and the Weasley's adjust to life as criminals. **


	21. Good News For Almost Everyone

**Hi all, so here is another chapter, six more left and this one is a tad shorter than usual but it's got one hell of a cliffhanger so i hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And as always everyone stay safe and i wish you all the best health and happiness in the world**

**Again some messing around with the timing of the events in Deathly Hallows but this story is so AU at this point I don't think it matters. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 21-Good News For Almost Everyone

Ginny struggles as her pregnancy is near the end, the news and the world gets increasingly darker and the Weasley's adjust to life as criminals of the Ministry of Magic. Fair Warnings quite a shorter chapter and not much dialogue.

* * *

The days got hotter as March turned into April. Trapped inside Ginny felt like she was suffocating both with the heat and with the lack of any kind of brain work.

She had her books and she made an effort to study, she tried to practice (without using a wand) some defensive spells that she had always struggled with and she took some time to focus on perfecting her potions which had been sufficient enough to keep her off Snape's radar but never good enough to get that half eyebrow that was saved for Hermione when she pulled off the impossible at the last minute.

Right now she wanted to still study for her belated OWLs that had been scheduled to take place this year (for the subjects where she had contested the allotted grades given after Dumbledore's death—mainly Potions and Transfiguration where arguably she'd have done better practical's than written papers) until she became distracted and she told herself very sternly that no news from or off Harry was probably a good thing.

She had never changed that decision as the last few weeks of March turned to April and as April got hotter and hotter as May came ever closer. She thought about it and she knew she was right. Harry had a job to do, he was being hunted, and she knew him better sometimes than she knew her own brothers—she knew that he was going to hate himself if the world fell to shit because he was holed up in a house sipping tea and reading stories to her baby.

She had decided on her boy name but the girl one was proving tricky. She knew one name would be Lily and she was toying with Molly as well but Lily Molly or Molly Lily didn't really ring true to her. She entertained Luna as a name for her best friend and one night thought madly of Astoria before she convulsed into several laughing hysterical sobs that made George inhale the sandwich he was scoffing and Mr Olivander who had just braved the stairs for dinner to run back up them again.

She had not seen much of the older man, he was confined to his room and would only see Auntie Muriel who knew him of old and their mother and father. Their mother had taken on the job of feeding him while their father did the job of making sure he got washed and changed with as much dignity as he could muster. Ginny had only seen him once and had felt scared and small for the three seconds she had seen the emancipated man ask Fred in a small voice for a cup of tea if it was no trouble. Fred had given him one and several biscuits and offered in a surprisingly gentle voice to help him back upstairs again but the man had gone shuffling quietly plate and cup in hand, no wand to speak off and had not made eye contact with anyone.

They found out what he was doing three days later when looking a bit less terrified he came downstairs again. Ginny had been sat at the table which hid most of her stomach as the man ate slowly before informing them that with their approval he wanted to order some materials to make wands for _'dear Luna and that poor boy who lost his' _it was a small step but a step in the right direction. Ginny however wanted to avoid him, soon he would be moved onto another house of someone in the order for a more permanent solution and she found that despite how glad she was that he was alive, she would not be sorry to see him go. And she also thought the fewer people who knew her secret the better. She did not think Olivander knew about her, her baby or her and Harry but she was not going to give anyone else the chance for dangerous gossip.

That was only half the problem however.

The other was that she was slowly losing her mind.

She was board.

Simply but she was board.

She missed the simple things she had taken for granted like Quidditch, she missed Hogwarts, she missed Neville and Luna, Lavender, Seamus, Parvatti, Astoria sometimes. She missed the simplicity that was the owls turning up in the morning and the simple joy of walking through her garden, through the fields and even down to the Muggle Shops. The only owl still being used (Errol was too recognisable, and Ginny was sure if there was ever an owl that deserved retirement it was that one) was the dark night owl of Auntie Muriel's and that had been commanded by Fred and George so that they could increase their owl order and attempt to do business. They at the very least seemed to be gaining gold though Bill was trying to snatch what he could before the Death Eaters truly got Gringotts under control.

There were things that Ginny missed more than others but she found the hardest one was magic. She was used to it growing up and while she didn't use her wand over the summer it had been a confined time period and she could have always used someone else's when she was desperate. The truth of the matter was that now she didn't even have that luxury. Even picking up her wand could see them to their doom. Magic had become her enemy when it was part of her identity and the thought made her scream into her pillow in the dead of night at the sheer frustration of it.

She was beginning to understand exactly why Sirius had been the way he was when they had been living in Grimmauld Place. She could understand why and how he lived between letters and visits and why he became despondent when he knew they were leaving, she could understand why he had gone after Harry that night partly out of love for his godson and partly because it was the most fun he'd had in decades and she found that she was more understanding and sympathetic of a man she had always viewed with some trepidation despite the fact he had always been kind to her.

She was in much the same boat now.

They all were.

* * *

Ginny did not know when she woke up April 25th what was going to happen. She had been restless throughout the night, the heat and the frustration building up in her. She had begun to feel prickly and snappish though she chalked that down to the lethargic way she had been feeling and the ups and downs you went through when you were both pregnant and in hiding. The isolation was the worst because there was really nobody she could talk to it about. Bill's visits were scare, Charlie and Percy still away from them and Ginny would rather talk to Draco Malfoy than to Fred and George about her pregnancy fears and the way she was feeling because while her brothers would try (bless them) the simple fact was had no clue what to say.

Even talking to her parents was strained somewhat because as far as Ginny knew while they had stayed hidden (and had been somewhat targets considering their mother's brother's being in the Order and the fact that they had earnt their label of 'Blood Traitor') they had never had to go into hiding the first time. Her mother had never had to wonder weather or not her children could ever go to school under either one of their parents name.

The whole thing sent her into tailspins of emotions depending on what she felt each day and she was getting as sick of it as she was of the constant need to go to the toilet and the heartburn that made her dizzy and the fact that she didn't feel like herself anymore.

Of course she suspected that those feelings would go away once the baby was born…this feeling of complete and utter helplessness was another story entirely. She wondered how long it was until she felt normal again—whatever the new normal was. The life she had had last summer was now gone. She had cried thinking that this time last summer she had been with Harry, the cup done and dusted behind them, feelings out in the open at last and their Headmaster had still been a breakfast looking a bit wan and a bit longer in the tooth but had still greeted the first years with a kind smile rather than an unforgivable curse.

Ginny went about that morning in a daze watching the sky in a perfect forget me not blue without a cloud to shield the intense brightness of the sun. She sat in her bedroom for a bit and shifted trying to feel comfortable. Shifty and prickly little pains she knew were not uncommon and she had been feeling them for a time before today. But seriously as much as she loved the little thing growing inside of her today she wished the little brat inside of her would hold onto something and stay still so that she could get some rest.

The crib was set up, a stack of knitted baby clothes and stuffed toys in a pile, books and other things that Ginny had never thought about getting that her brother's had done through their owl order service. She tried to read, Hermione had given her a stack of her favourite muggle books to read through over the years and she had kept the ones that she had liked the most and taken her favourites with her.

She was halfway through a mental debate on weather or not she wanted to read her favourite wizarding book _(The Founder's Children, an Intimate look at the lives of Helena Ravenclaw and Gerran Hufflepuff) _which was fiction but the romantic soppy kind she needed right now and one Hermione gave called Pride and Prejudice when she felt another sharp stab deep within her stomach and she gave up on that idea completely and decided to go and run a bath as that seemed to be the only thing that soothed the now brutal kicks that were hitting her bladder with the frequency she had only seen once at the Quidditch World Cup with the Irish Team Chasers.

She stepped in the warm water feeling like she was some sort of beached whale and tried to relax but getting in and more to the point getting out of the bath while nearly nine months pregnant took more effort than she liked. As she lay their the water lapping at her on either side she calculated in her head. Next week was her supposed due date (though she was still a bit unsure weather she had gotten it right). Next week. All she had do was get through six more days.

* * *

Ginny thought she might have slept in the bath as it seemed she had closed her eyes and when she woke up a light breeze was coming in through the open window a far cry from the oppressive heat she had escaped.

She forced herself out of the bath and dressed into a pair of leggings that had seen better days and a t-shirt that she was sure had once been one of her brothers. She padded downstairs stopping to smell dinner. It smelt like chicken which was good as Ginny liked chicken and from the laughter and the occasion grumble from Auntie Muriel it seemed like nothing bad had happened since she'd been upstairs.

It was as she appeared in the dining room that it happened. That she felt it.

There was a sharp little stab followed by one of such force that she reached out to grab the sideboard in surprise making the china rattle and everyone look at her. But she wasn't looking at them. She was looking at her leggings and the floor, her bare feet that were suddenly soaked with something that she really hoped was water. It certainly looked like water.

"Ugh Ginny is this some kind of strange pregnancy thing?" Fred asked into the silence half standing up in surprise.

Ginny opened her mouth but a staggering pain sent her nearly crashing back to the ground again and she gave a horse gasp. Her mother was suddenly there at her elbow and Ginny knew, because she just _knew _what this meant.

"The baby's coming" she said finally.

There was another heartbeat of stunned silence broken only by Muriel Weasley and only in a way that Muriel Weasley could.

"Ginevra you do pick your moments don't you? And on my best Persian rug as well.

* * *

**And there you are, hope you all enjoy, let me know what you think of this chapter and i will do my best to update sooner rahter than later. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny gives birth, a baby is born. And two people's lives are forever changed (though a certain someone does not know it yet!)_ **


	22. There's My Baby

**Hi, so here is another chapter and the one i know you've all been waiting for. I found it very emotional to write and so i hope i got anything medical accurate. Again i have screwed around witht the timeline but i figured that was already going down the drain considering this story's AU proposal so...**

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine so please let me know what you think. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**To all of you out there reading this, stay safe, stay healthy and too all of the families out there who are expecting or have had a baby recently I send my heartfelt congrats and my well wishes. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 22-There's My Baby

Ginny gives birth, a baby is born in a time of war, and two people's lives are forever changed (though a certain someone does not know it yet). Again some AU tricks with the timeline. And this will be an shorter chapter with not much dialogue used.

* * *

For a moment there was silence. Again Ginny would have laughed. The last time there had been silence like this the Weasley family had found out the youngest member was pregnant. Now she had done it again. It took a lot to silence her vocal family and she had done it twice in the space of two months.

All of this occurred to Ginny in the space of a heartbeat because no sooner had Auntie Muriel commentated on the state of her rug another contraction hit her and she nearly fell to the floor had it not been for her mother on one side keeping her up and Fred on the other.

"Alright then" her mother said with a briskness that Ginny both appreciated and loathed in this moment. "Looks like that baby is ready to enter this world. George go and discreetly set the floo network up if worse comes to worse I want Andromeda Tonks here—as an ex healer she might be able to do something but only when I say. If I can deliver this baby myself then I will. Fred go take your father into the drawing room pour him a stiff drink but don't let him get too drunk, this might take a long time, the lot of you stay down here until I call you."

Ginny was hardly aware where she was going or that she was in a room off Muriel's bedroom. It was clean with white sheets and reminded her of the hospital rooms at St Mungo's. Ginny wondered if her mother had, had this ready for her when they moved here but the pain of another contraction made her scream this time and she felt like her heart would burst out of her chest the way her heart was beating.

She didn't remember getting on the bed or losing her leggings and knickers or the embarrassment that came with the fact that she was in the worst position possible with her mother staring at her. All she cared about the next wave of pain that seemed to be coming in such a way so that every time she thought she was past it, every time she thought that she could take it, it was getting worse and worse. Ginny found her hands were gripping the bedsheets and then her mother who had been staring and feeling and doing something that Ginny was in far to much pain to pay attention too stood up looking pleased.

"I'd say your progressing naturally Ginny, your at about four centimetres so you've got a long way to go before we welcome that baby into the world, but it looks as normal as I can tell. Certainly I do not feel we are in for any complications right now."

"Of course not Molly…Ginnevra follows a long line of proud Weasley women who do not flinch in the sight of pain. If I remember rightly you only went to the hospital once and that was with Ronald. Cedrella Black who married my brother gave birth to three sons and one time she did it in one of those dreadful muggle air raid shelter things. No…Ginevra was never going to be one to demand special treatment if she didn't need it"

Oh good, Auntie Fucking Muriel was here. She was the last person that Ginny needed right now and she let out another scream of pain throwing back her head as a contraception ripped through her.

"Muriel I am not sure why you are here?" her mother said tactfully which was just Molly Weasley's way of saying, "Get stuffed you old bat"

"Molly I assueme you are delivering this thing? Then who do you propose comforts Ginny during her travels? I am certainly not going to bend down to catch a baby, at my age my back would never recover not to mention now I'm harbouring a load of fugitives I cannot go and get my nails done and heavens knows what comes out of…well…"

Ginny paused staring at her feeling her legs shake from where they were up on the bed. There was something about this moment that made her want to both laugh and then to sob hysterically. She had thought about having a baby long before she had actually fell pregnant and she had never in her wildest dreams considered this scenario. Her despised great-aunt distracting her by being the same rude and cantankerous old woman she had always been and her mother's stunned look of exasperation. She had always thought that the baby's father would be here with her, that she would be giving birth in clean medical conditions and if she was being honest with herself that she was older, wiser and with a steady career as chaser of some Quidditch team under her belt.

This was the thing she had been building towards for months and yet now it was here she found that she was utterly terrified of what was going to happen, and the pain…

She had really thought all the books and all the stories that she had heard were exaggerating about the pain that she was in right now. Clearly she had been the one in complete and utter denial about the true scope of pain because Ginny had been eleven when she had nearly lost her mind, she had been thirteen when she had seen Amos Diggory screaming over the corpse of his son and she had been fifteen when she had raced through the halls of the Department of Mysteries with a broken ankle and a brother that was not all there. She had been sixteen when she had fought Death Eaters at Hogwarts and she had been knocked backwards into the wall bruising her leg and her arms for weeks afterwards and all of that, the emotional and physical toil of what she had been through was nothing compared to what she was doing now.

"I want Harry" she said finally. Both women looked at her. "He's over at Bill's I want him, I want him here, he should be here" she looked around desperately and in that moment all of her selfishness raised it's ugly head. Ginny had known what it was that she was doing, she had known that she was condemning this baby to a life where it might never know his or her father and vice versa for Harry. She had known that the mission—the desire to see the end of Voldemort would be what dominated the stupidly stubborn love of her life right until the bitter end and she had known that. She'd had the opportunity on numerous occasions to seek him out and now she knew that she wanted him because despite all that she had promised herself she was scared of what this baby meant.

She was sixteen. She wanted to know that the man she loved, loved her.

It was as simple as that. Why did Voldemort have to take that away from her? Away from all the people he had killed or hunted or taken for the sheer pleasure of causing pain. Why did he have to be the way he was? Had he understood a fraction of what she was feeling—

But then he wouldn't be Voldemort and this wouldn't be happening and that was a headache for another day not when her mother was looking at her with pity and her Auntie Muriel was shaking her head with something in her eyes that Ginny didn't want to identify.

"Ginny" her mother said finally. "You know he cannot be here. You know he has to do what he has to do. Sweetheart believe me sometimes it takes all I have to not go over their and fold Ron in my arms and tell him to take care and come home and not go out again but that is the price you pay for raising good children. Harry has to finish what he started—he is the only hope the world has for a life free of You-Know-Who and as hard as that is and as unfair as that is he has to do it. You have to make sure that when he does it and I believe whole-heartedly that he will that he has a baby to come home to."

"Besides" Auntie Muriel said her birdlike hand stroking Ginny's in a rather comforting measure if she had to admit it only to herself (there were times when the older woman could really surprise a person).

"What good could he do Ginevra? He got you into this mess and I bet he had fun doing it but he's not going to take that baby out of you. Men always want to understand and to help. This is woman's work. Why when I was young they didn't even allow them into the delivery room. Those were the days…"

"Ginny" her mother cut across with another eyeroll. "You are now at five centimetres. You still got a long way to go before you can push. Perhaps Muriel you might want to think about getting some cool water"

"Molly I hardly think liquids are going to help me in my condition. I mean my bowls are not what they used to be I am a hundred and seven after all"

"I meant for Ginny!"

"Oh. I suppose I can chase down my house elf. Won't be a second"

The door closed and her mother rolled her eyes heavenwards again.

"Right that gives us a few minutes. Ginny we've got a long way to go but I am so proud of you right now. I know you can do this and I am right here with you."

Ginny took another breath as another contraction ripped through her.

She was seriously beginning to rethink her decision about having sex with Harry. She remembered clinging to him, grasping the pleasure from him and thinking in that moment that everything and anything was worth keeping this feeling. The problem was she was now reaping what she was sowing and that sucked on so many levels.

She gritted her teeth and bared down for another sharp shoot of pain.

"How long?" she asked her mother who gave a small smile.

"Oh I imagine hours at this rate" she said. "The first generally wants to take his or her time"

Ginny sobbed.

And so it continued.

* * *

Her labour started on the 25th. It took a day for her baby to be born. On the 26th of April at eleven in the morning after half a day and a whole night of pain there was a sudden rush and Ginny who thought that she might scream out of frustration if she was told to push again felt another sliver and then her mother exhausted with the nights efforts seemed to catch something and then the pressure was gone.

Before Ginny took a second to realise what was going on and why the pressure was gone and the pain with it there was a split second of pure silence and then her mother was beaming, her brown eyes filled with tears as she handed something to Auntie Muriel wrapped who with all the reverence of a miser seeing gold for the first time took it and wrapped it in a blanket.

And then the cry wrenched the air, a thin reedy cry at first that turned into a full bellow.

It was alive.

A live baby.

Ginny started sobbing but this time it was not in pain or in terror it was in relief. She had done it. Despite all odds that were stacked against her she had brought Harry Potter's baby into the world. Despite the fact that she had been hiding in this house, in Hogwarts and had given up more than she cared to count she realised that she had done it.

"It's a boy" her mother said wiping her eyes as Auntie Muriel passed the baby to her wrapped in the little yellow blanket.

"Aye and a fine looking one at that. The lad seems healthy and a baby that always had a strong cry like that is destined for many things."

The older woman looked at her with something akin to affection—the closest that Ginny had ever seen coming from Muriel.

"You did good girl, you did good. Come on Molly. Let's give them five seconds to each other and let the menfolk in on the good news. Personally I don't think Potter should know just yet but—"

Ginny was hardly listening, she didn't want to overhear anything, instead all she wanted to do was focus on the little boy she was holding.

They had cleaned him up and though his hair was still matted with something she could tell that it was a dark brown. Not the jet black that Harry's was or the red that she was but something comfortable in the middle. His eyes were not the green she had always hoped for the same dark brown as hers, as her mother and her mother before her. He had Harry's nose and her chin she thought and his ears were all Harry's. He peered up at her with an expression that Ginny though made him look irritated that he had come into the world the way he had. He had ten fingers and ten toes and two fingers peeped out of the blanket and Ginny saw the tiny fingernails on the tiny hands.

He was utterly _perfect._

And he was _hers_.

The baby stared up at her with those brown eyes and Ginny found that she wanted to take back all she had said and thought about the danger and the pain and the agony. She could barley move her lower legs, her breasts prickled with the milk she could feel coming and she knew that if they showed her a mirror now she must look a mess of sweat and tears but the truth of the matter was that she would do it all again for this moment right here right now.

This was utter perfection.

The war didn't matter, Voldemort didn't matter. Even her constant worry for Harry didn't matter. This baby was the great love of her life not Harry Potter.

She knew she would only have a few moments before this mother and son bonding moment was interrupted by Grandma Molly who would insist she cleaned up before the men in her family came to meet their new member though weather or not it was a Weasley or a Potter she did not know nor did she care.

All she cared about was the little boy she held in her arms.

He made a small fussing noise and she reached out to touch one of the fingernails that curled around her. The brown eyes fluttered shut and the eyelashes dark and perfect shifted and fluttered on the soft plump cheeks filled with blood and the lips that were a perfect red and in the shape of a cupid's bow.

"There you are baby, there's my baby"

She was muttering platitudes she knew but she did not care. All she cared about was in her arms.

"James" she said to the baby who opened his eyes as if he wanted to stare at her while she said this.

"Your name is James. James Sirius Potter though it might be a while before anyone calls you that. And I know that your father isn't here but I do know that when he gets the chance to meet you he will be over the moon. How could he not? Look at you? You are so perfect and your father will not wait to meet you"

Baby James closed his eyes again and then started bawling desperate for food. Ginny didn't know what to do really but she knew the logistics to it and she put her breast to his mouth. Fortunately he latched on straight away and started suckling and she leaned back hugging him close and feeling that wonderful sense of a child feeding.

Her baby was real. He was alive.

He was James.

* * *

At Shell Cottage on the outskirts of Tinworth Harry Potter rolled over in his sleep before waking. He had slept in early on account of the fact that he had, had no dreams plaguing him. The room he was sharing with Ron and Dean was empty. And he could smell chicken cooking.

He couldn't shake his thought over this dream he'd been having though. But then again dreams didn't mean much, if Voldemort wasn't hunting him in his dreams it was considered a good night.

But it had been Ginny and a baby and a life that he could not have and he had woken up feeling empty and hollow.

"Harry?" it was Dean knocking at the door.

"Fleur said lunch is ready when you want it"

Harry nodded. "Cheers Dean, be down in a sec" and then waited for the footsteps to fade before he ran a hand through his clean and now short hair before he got up putting the dream from his mind.

As Dumbledore had once told him all those years ago when he had been eleven, it was not good to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

And with that he got dressed and went downstairs.

* * *

**This i should tell you is the only time that this story breaks slightly from Ginny's POV so i hope you enjoyed. **

**As always i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i will endevour to update sooner rather than later. A big thank you to all of you who have given this story your support. **

**Next Chapter-As weeks pass Ginny adjusts to being a new mother and the Weasley family adjust to a new member-otherwise known as the calm before the storm. **


	23. Mummy's Here

**Hi, so here is another chapter and we are only a few away from finishing this story! Hopefully the next one will not take as long to get out. **

**I hope all of you understand where Ginny is coming from here when it comes to the war. It's the same headspace i imagine, Lily, Tonks, Alice Longbottom and even in some ways Molly and Narcissa to have as a mother you want the world for your children and Ginny wants a safe world for James and i hope i have made that come across in this chapter. **

**I am not up to date on the feeding of a newborn other than breastfeeding so therefore any inaccuacies i make about bottle feeding and pumping are entirely my own. Incidently i do not know if bottle feeding is a muggle thing but it was fun to play around with little cracks in the cannon such as these. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine in this chapter just the cute little baby. **

**Please Read and Review. **

**And I will endevour to post sooner rahter than later. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 23-Mummy's Here.

As the weeks pass Ginny adjusts to being a mother and the Weasley family adjust to a new member as they wait out the days before the end of the war. Otherwise known as the calm before the storm. And again some messing around with an ambiguous timing.

* * *

It took some adjusting Ginny wouldn't lie.

Actually that was the polite way of putting that first week into perspective.

James was at times an utter nightmare.

For a start he didn't sleep. Ginny had known that going in that babies didn't sleep for at least the first year (and that was if she was lucky) but James didn't seem to sleep for more than half an hour and that was if everyone in the house walked around as if they were on broken glass. It had been a long time since there had been a baby in the house—sixteen years to be exact and Ginny relied on those early days on her mother and father especially when she could barely leave the bed because her body was a mess of blood and something else she didn't want to think about and even shifting on the sheets hurt like hell.

James began to change a little as the days went by and Ginny could see it. She felt like maybe she was the only one who could see it.

Once he had been cleaned up and changed into a little blue jumpsuit with a pattern of golden snitches (courtesy of Uncle Fred) Ginny put the baby on his back one morning and watching him. She found that she could watch him for hours like that kicking his feet up in the air so she cold curl her palm around them and watch as his brown eyes became fixated on the broomstick that whirled around over his head (curtsey of Uncle George) she found that she could see that the matted strands of dark hair were a shade lighter when they were dry and thick—now they could form a tuft of hair. The hair colour was more a combination of the jet black of Harry's hair and the red that was hers and it formed a darker brown she thought, his eyes were all hers, the brown that she had, that her mother had, that her grandmother had had.

He was heavy as well. Somehow she had never thought that he would be this heavy, one day when she was able she took him into the bath with her and watched as his bare toes tickled the water and he kicked. She thought he liked that but when she attempted to wash his hair with water he screamed enough to have Death Eaters at the door if it hadn't been for the protective charms surrounding the house. He didn't like to sleep that much was clear and it seemed every hour of the day Ginny was changing the nappies whose stock had been decimated by the end of the first week.

And then there was the feeding. Ginny had heard stories and read books all of which said that breastfeeding was good. The bottle theory was a muggle one and Ginny couldn't understand it and when she had mentioned it to her mother and Auntie Muriel (who was in the room at the time) both of them had looked at her as if she'd just suggested joining the Death Eaters not that any of that had mattered to James because he had latched onto her nipple easily and had taken to suckling away with minimal fuss a fact that her mother told her was a blessing.

She had taken as well just out of curiosity to bottle feeding which included a complicated procedure in which she pumped milk out. Ginny hated the thing if she was being honest with herself but she had tried it just because she hated Auntie Muriel being right about the correct method being breastfeeding.

(Of course that had been the first day. By the end of the third she couldn't feel her breasts they were that sore and even her t-shirt was killing her)

But she didn't care. She didn't care that she was aching and bleeding and exhausted and that when she looked in the mirror she saw someone that she didn't recognise. She didn't care that she couldn't even wear a bra because everything was sore. She didn't care that nobody in the family had, had any sleep for a week without having to cast charms on their door.

Ginny didn't care.

Because she was a _Mummy._

Because she was _James's Mummy_.

For a moment the world fell away. The war fell away and though it was always on the horizon and the battle that she knew was coming was nearing Ginny didn't care—sometimes she was so blissfully happy her and her baby that she didn't care, and sometimes she wanted nothing more than to be with James. What did it matter that Voldemort was gaining strength compared to the tiny hand with it's tiny perfect fingernail grasping out and reaching hers one morning or the little smile he made when he saw her on the first weekend.

Her brothers had taken to being Uncles better than she had expected but then again nothing they did surprised her. Bill had yet to see the baby but Fleur had come one day and had cooed over James so much that Ginny had had the time to have a leisurely shower, wash her hair and make herself somewhat presentable before she got the chance to get back downstairs to see her mother and father beaming in a highly significant smug way (that told Ginny they were already planning for another grandchild) and Fleur singing James a song in French as he mercifully fell asleep.

Charlie too had yet to meet his nephew (she would not comment on Percy even to her own baby) but he sent a stuffed dragon—a Welsh Green by the looks of it and James had stared at it for a second before wrapping one small finger around the shiny tail and tapping at it with whatever interest he held. Fred and George were inseparable. Ginny joked that they went each day to get their 'five minutes fix' because that was what it was. Each of them would spend five minutes completely at the mercy of James at least twice a day. It was touching to watch and yet Ginny never did because it gave her a few moments of completely uninterrupted sleep time.

Her mother and father were doting grandparents and even Auntie Muriel never seemed to complain about him though she didn't want to hold him, and as the end of the first week turned into the end of April and the beginning of May Ginny found that she didn't even care that her heart was broken and she was missing Harry because her baby boy, her son, made it all better.

She missed Harry like an ache she couldn't get rid of. She wanted to see him so badly. To tell him about her son…about their son…so much that once or twice she had entertained the idea of just taking James in the dead of night to Bill and Fleur's cottage and moving in with him. After all one hiding place was just the same as another.

And then as soon as she thought it she knew that she couldn't entertain that thought a second longer.

Because she couldn't do that to James or Harry or herself. She couldn't make Harry choose between taking on Voldemort or taking on a family because she knew him and she knew that without a shadow of a doubt James would win. But yet she knew that he would never be restful or peaceful and that one day someone would betray them and like Harry's parents she might have to stand in front of crib with her arms outstretched and Harry dead on the floor below saying she would not stand aside for anything.

And she would not do that.

But she was restless. And she was hungry for it.

She loved James. Ginny knew that she would walk on nails for her baby with his tuft of dark hair and his brown eyes and his fingernails like little shells on his tiny little hands and feet, but a part of her was not ashamed to admit that she was struggling with the thought of sitting out the battle that she knew would come, weather it would be in a weeks time, a month, a year, or even ten years. She had known this going into her pregnancy, the reality was much harder to wrap her head around.

As much as she loved him this baby that had slowly become her everything she wanted more for him than a life constantly lived in the shadows. She wanted more for James than never having to go outside or meet friends or grow up thinking his father had abandoned him, she never wanted him to understand the sacrifice she had made for bringing him into the world or how she had laid awake most nights in fear wondering if today was the day her secret was going to be exposed.

And if that meant leaving him perhaps forever then she would do that.

She was not a mother having a baby born in peace. She was a mother in a time of war. Of a mass wizarding war. She could not afford the luxury of doing nothing and letting other people do her fighting for her. That was not the woman she had become and that was not the child she had been raised to be.

She thought about it some nights when she was holding James to her breast and felt that full feeling of her child feeding. Could she go to war and leave him?

But then again she had wondered weather or not she would take this pregnancy to term, weather or not she had to go into hiding or weather or not she would be a good mother. She liked to think she was the last one and she knew she had done the first two.

But she wanted James to grow up in a different world. Not the one she had to endure, when she had been born in a post-war world and grown up in something resembling peace and then had been a teenager in a war again. She needed her baby to have that and though the idea made her stomach turn violently and tears come to her eyes she knew that she would sacrifice herself for that because the love that she was feeling for this small little human in the red playsuit with the lion on it and the knitted yellow blanket tucked around him in his crib was more powerful than anything she had felt before.

Ginny had thought she had known everything but those two weeks of exhaustion and tears and bleeding and a crying baby had taught her much more than the entire years she had spent at Hogwarts put together. She had thought she had known love, her parents constant affection for the other, the passion that had seen Bill and Fleur walk down the aisle, the way that Tonks and Lupin had loved each other from afar, the way Hermione and Ron had taken ages to sort out something so simple and then Harry. She had never thought she could love someone other than Harry this much.

But now she held James in her arms she realised she might as well have been kidding herself.

She said nothing to her family about these thoughts but they were there. Instead she had prepared as best she could writing notes to people in case the worst should happen. There was one she wrote and she wrote that in the case of Voldemort winning, it was the worst case scenario but she thought that if it happened she had put win or lose things in place to ensure that her son was well looked after and loved.

* * *

On the first of May, Ginny woke up late and with the sense that something was going to happen—other than James's thin wailing cry and the smell that told Ginny he had pooped again. She quickly bathed him in the little baby bath she had watching as he smacked his tiny hand in the water kicking upwards with is feet and she laughed catching the foot in her hand and tugging on it feeling the flex and the pull of the muscle and the love for a living child that was healthy and vibrant and strong.

She had gotten into the habit of sleeping when James slept because that was the only time when she got sleep anymore and her eyes were drifting shut when his eyes did. She kept him on her chest like a warm little pillow and drifted and dreamed for an hour or so.

She was awoken sometime late in the afternoon by James's thin cry and she sighed.

"Again?" she asked with more amusement than she felt unhooking her bra and letting him latch on. She thought looking out at the afternoon sun that maybe today she would get changed into something other than gritty leggings that were unwashed, dirty and covered in something she really hoped was baby sick but if she was being honest she was unsure about.

She popped him down on his changing table when she was done and she changed his nappy her mind absent as she went though the motions. It seemed that no matter how much sleep she managed to gain she was always more tired waking up from a nap as she was when she went to sleep. She found a pair of jeans and winced as she put them on—it seemed she had vastly underestimated the amount of weight she had gained from having a baby—and then mercifully found a pair of clean leggings. She found a bra that would keep everything in and a purple shirt with buttons at the front that was also able to keep everything in and a dark enough purple where she would knew that if she started leaking she would get away with it until she got up to change which was a good thing because she didn't think she could stand the embarrassment that came with being caught unawares.

She picked James up and took him downstairs to where Fred and George were gathered around the radio. There was something in their expressions that Ginny didn't want to comment on so she took James to the kitchen and opened the fridge door peering inside so she could see the milk stocked neatly at the side though it was often accompanied by a snide comment by Muriel who thought keeping baby milk and formula in the fridge was unseemly.

Ginny turned and saw Fred leaning against the doorframe.

"Mum and Dad have gone to see Bill and Fleur, Harry, Ron and Hermione disappeared from Shell Cottage this morning."

Ginny sucked in a breath, James gave a little whimper and shifted a little in his blanket already tired and in need of a nap. She couldn't lie and say she had not been expecting this.

"Where is he?"

"Don't know but there reporting some kind of disturbance at Gringotts…you wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

"Fred, I haven't slept in two weeks, I am holding a child that half of the Wizarding World would want dead and there is a battle on the horizon in which I might loose my family, the man I love and my own life. Pick a topic…any topic"

Fred snorted. "Please anything is better than listening to George causally drop in hints that he would like to date Angelina when this over. I mean you go to a dance with a girl when you are fourteen and people think your in love with her forever" he shook his head. Ginny looked a him and suddenly she was reminded that the twins were only twenty years old. Already Ginny thought when she looked at them she could see their father in their faces. She didn't want to think about what she looked like. Already she felt older than she had ever felt in her life.

And then suddenly she couldn't help herself.

"If this comes to a battle, weather it's tonight, tomorrow or ten years from now I am leaving James with Muriel and going to fight. And if I die then it will be in the making of world for him where he doesn't have to live in fear and I know that Mum and Dad won't get that but…"

Fred shrugged. "Mum and Dad won't understand or like any of us fighting or dying in this war. As for George and me…we get it we do. It's the way we've been raised, we weren't raised to hide away from danger. I never thought you'd be any different really besides…Tonks, Harry's Mum and Dad, Neville's parents, we all want and wanted a better world than this. He's your baby Ginny. You have to decided. George and I wont stop you but I should warn you, if you go there's a very good chance Muriel will be left holding the baby and I'm not sure if you want to summit baby James to that trial and tribulation in his first month of life"

Ginny let out a laugh that was loud and real and the first one in months. James woke up with the loud noise and made sure that everyone knew he was annoyed at this by promptly screaming the house down for an hour and a half.

* * *

The night continued. Ginny had been on the sofa for a good portion of it rubbing her thumb over her baby's head. The news had been steadily trickling in and she found she couldn't move even as James dozed of intermittently.

Harry, Ron and Hermione had broken into Gringotts, into the Lestrange's vault and had escaped on the back of a dragon smashing it's way through the bank and most of Diagon Ally in an attempt to escape.

Had she not been listening to it on the radio she would have thought that it was a dream. Even Muriel had come down to listen her eyebrows rising steadily higher with each word. Their mother and father were not yet back at the house. There was a sense of something in the air, a great sense that if something was to happen it was going to happen tonight. The very air seemed to still and the only person who seemed completely unaware of what was going on was the precious little baby in Ginny's arms.

She couldn't put him down. Not yet.

Not until she knew.

The call came a little after eight just as the sky was turning to dusk and the darkness of another night was coming down around them. James was still asleep, he had woken and fussed and Ginny had fed him and then just for the hell of it had talked Muriel through the bottle feeding techniques she had learnt. It was a mark of how tense things had become was that Ginny was sure she was listening if only to take her mind of this endless waiting—Ginny found that she didn't care that the woman was loudly complaining that this was rubbish and that she was a hundred and seven to boot and should not be worried about baby food but Ginny thought that the old bat understood and she wondered if perhaps Auntie Muriel was a lot smarter than she was cantankerous.

Fred was rocking James when she came in and she was content for a second to leave him in his Uncle's arms. Ginny would confess to being selfish with her son and the boys rarely got a chance to hold him for this long amount of time. George wrapped an arm around her and then without warning a silver animal bounded into the room and took the form of a fox and Ginny knew what Seamus was going to say before the animal opened it's mouth.

_"__It's happening, we reckon tonight. Neville's took care of informing the Order but I am calling all members of Dumbledore's Army to arms…Harry Potter is at Hogwarts with Ron and Hermione. The time to fight is now. I repeat Harry Potter is at Hogwarts with Ron and Hermione" _

Ginny moaned a little. Fred's grip on the baby tightened, George stood up and between her two brothers there was a grim look passed.

"So we fight" George said tightly. "And we either win or lose. Ginny if you don't want to go nobody will ever think less of you…"

"I know" Ginny said standing up and taking her baby out of Fred's arm her brother pressing his hand against his nephews head for a second. "Grab my wand will you"

It was a feeble attempt at her telling them to give her a moment with her son but they took to it.

Ginny waited until she was alone and then she lifted James up so that they were face to face and the brown eyes were staring at her.

"I have to go" she said holding him close and kissing him, whispering in his little ear. "I have to go and fight James and I might die. If I do then you will be looked after and you will be loved and I hope one day you will understand. But if I come back then I will come back with your father and he will look at you and fall in love with you just as much as I did and we will be together and we will be happy. And if we don't then I think I've given you the best chance you can. If I don't win this for you, this war then I'm sorry for that too and I've written you a letter so that you understand. But I want you to hear my voice even though you don't understand it just yet. I want to say this to you now. I want you to know James that I have loved you since the second I found out that I was expecting you and I will love you until my last breath. And it was an absolute joy to be your Mummy even if it ends today"

She kissed him on the head again and James snuffled next to her his hand already in his mouth and Ginny held him until one of her brothers knocked on the door.

Auntie Muriel was already there her shawl wrapped around her and her face a picture of emotions that Ginny had never seen on the older woman before.

Somehow Ginny found the strength to hand her baby over to her great aunt who patted her on the arm as she took him. James became enamoured Ginny could tell on her broach and not on the fact that his mother's heart was breaking right in front of him.

"If I don't come back there are letters upstairs, for Harry, for the family…if we lose…Auntie Muriel do you know a Cyrus Greengrass?"

"Aye, good man, well better than most in that family, outclasses his father without trying though I suppose if you don't have a perversion to women just out of school or powdered belladonna then your doing better than that man—"

"Auntie Muriel he has a daughter Astoria, she's a pure-blood and I reckon she's done enough to keep herself safe if he wins. She'll be the best option to hide him"

She didn't comment on what Astoria Greengrass would do, she didn't think about her relationship with Malfoy or even if the woman was still considered pure enough to live in a world where Voldemort won. She didn't want to think about that because Ginny was going to ensure that they won, for her son, for Harry, for the dead and the dying she had to ensure that Voldemort was destroyed.

And if she took out that bitch Bellatrix or the twisted little snake Dolohov then the better for her and the worst for them.

She turned away and gripped her wand and stepped into the floo behind her brothers. She didn't look at her son as George whipped the floo around and she disappeared in smoke. Instead she closed her eyes and felt the blood rise and that thrill she felt when she started fighting. And Ginny felt her heart give a jolt again when she thought that she was going to see her brother again, her best friend again, Harry again.

She didn't look back.

She couldn't look back.

She had a war to go and fight.

* * *

**And there you are, i hope you enjoy. And i will see you next time for the action. **

**Next Chapter-Ginny returns to Hogwarts for a reunion with her brothers (both of them) her friend and Harry. The Battle for Hogwarts begins and though they dont all know it at once, the Weasley family is ripped apart to never be the same again. **


	24. It's War

**Hi, so here is another chapter and the longest one i have written for this story. This was exhausting emotionally for me so i really hope i did it well and you liked it. **

**Also on a side note, considering about fifty people died on the 'good' side during the battle it seems to me rather obvious that Colin, Ginny and Luna were not the only kids that were underage that stayed to fight. Therefore i had wrote in Ginny's ducklings, my OCS, Grace, Alfie, Tommy and John into this chapter. I have also taken some liberties with childbirth potions and whatnot but this is the Wizarding World and Ginny is Ginny Weasley so i believe any adaptions are justified though of course they are my own. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing is mine. **

**Please let me know what you think, and i will try my best to get the next chapter too you soon. As always i wish you all the best happiness and health in the world. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 24-It's War

Ginny returns to Hogwarts for her reunion with her brothers (both of them) her best friend (and another), the kids she helped to fight and Harry. The battle for Hogwarts begins and though they don't all know it at once, the Weasley family is ripped apart, just as they are coming together, to never be the same again.

* * *

She stepped out into a pub she was sure she recognised.

It took her a few seconds before she realised she was in the Hogs Head. The pub where she had officially joined the _'radicalised teenage gang'_ (as her mother had called it) that was Dumbledore's Army. She had been proud then. She was proud now.

George helped her to her feet and she looked around to see a man whose eyes were a shocking shade of blue. A shade of blue that reminded her of her headmaster—the man that had took her aside when she had been a scared eleven year old and told her that nothing that had happened the year the Chamber had been open was her fault. That his office was always open if she wanted a cup of hot chocolate and who had been the figurehead to many who had took up arms in his name.

She opened her mouth to say something (because the resemblance was too much for her to ignore it) but the old man was gesturing to George towards a portrait hole and Ginny was being shoved through it by Fred and into a dank passageway forwards her wand in her hand feeling the sparks fly at the knowledge that the wand and it's owner was reunited at last.

(She did not think of James. She could not think of James)

She almost fell through the hole as the tunnel came to an end. Fred caught her as George pushed her through the tunnel and then she was awash with faces.

There was Neville who did her a glance over raised an eyebrow at her obvious lack of pregnant belly and then threw her a small smile underneath the bruises and cuts adorning his skin. Seamus his arm slung around Dean, Lavender with Parvati, Ernie back from grieving his face showing the sadness of a lost brother and Luna her hair tied in a rather neat knot. Cho Chang talking with Michael and then to her amusement plus exasperation, Tommy with Alfie, Grace, John and a cluster of other first and second years she had taught at Hogwarts all of them looking desperate to join a fight that they had no idea would cost them anything. Ginny a new mother in herself looked at them and wondered if in ten or eleven years time she would be seeing James in the same position. She felt bile rise up at the thought, her private parts throbbed a little still with the aftereffect of birth despite the muggle and magical ways to stop that and she had to look away from them least she start sobbing right there in the Room of Requirement.

And then she saw them.

She saw Hermione first, her hair still brown and bushy and tied back in a long plait, she was dirty and covered in bruises and burn marks and her jeans were splattered in mud. Her friend was thinner and there were shadows under her eyes, next to her was Ron. Ginny felt George stiffen next to her as they clapped eyes on their brother for the first time since August. Ron too looked like he had been through hell and back, his face was unshaven and he had a nasty cut on one side of his face, his eyes were dark as if he had seen things and comprehended things that nobody should have to and Ginny had a sudden visceral flashback to how she had felt after she had realised just what had been possessing her for the whole of her first year at school. Ron saw them and grinned his mouth lifting up in a half attempt at the smile that he had usually given out so freely and Ginny had to resist the urge to throw her arms around him and hug the life out of him.

And then she was aware that someone else was watching her and she turned to see the one person she had wanted to speak to for the last nine months.

Harry Potter.

He too looked ten years older than his age. His hair was cut lopsidedly but it was still messy, his eyes were still green behind the same glasses and Ginny, calculating the changes in him could see that he was holding himself in a way that she recognised as his scar was hurting. He stared at her with those eyes and suddenly the fact that they had been apart didn't matter, the fact that she had given birth to his son didn't matter. All that mattered was that he was in touching distance.

She yearned in that second to tell him about James. To tell him about his baby and the fact that she had done something that she once would have said was impossible. That she had kept his child safe right under the nose of the Death Eaters themselves. She wanted to tell him that and then take him home, pass him his son and never let him go.

She had never had any doubts about it but that long moment (thought in reality it was probably six seconds) confirmed to Ginny what she had known at the age of eleven.

That Harry Potter was indeed the great love of her life and nothing, _nothing, _was ever going to change that.

But then like so many moments between them over the course of the years it was interrupted and Ginny had to pull away, her eyes and her thoughts away from Harry and his baby and back into the battle plan that was rapidly unfolding.

She forgot however about one thing, one crucial thing.

Her mother.

* * *

To say Molly Weasley was not pleased was an understatement and Ginny found that she could understand with a crystal clear knowledge why. The thought of James even though he was a baby stood where she was right now was enough of a thought to turn her blood cold. She could understand why her mother had pushed back when Sirius had wanted to tell them what the Order was up to. But that didn't change anything, Ginny knew why she was here, she knew what she was fighting for and as her father had always said she had her mother's temper.

Factor in the hormone imbalance and she knew she was a damn force to be reckoned with.

She was dimly aware that Bill was talking to her but she was close to hitting him as it was when she felt Harry's eyes on her. For a spilt second there eyes were locked and then she saw him shake his head. She gritted her teeth—did anyone here not think that she had thought about what she was leaving behind?

"I mean you have James to think about"

That was from her mother and Ginny felt her blood go cold and a kind of fury she had never felt before seep into her veins like poison. While she and her mother had, had difficulties they had always had a way of resolving them but right now all she wanted to do hurt her mother in the way she had just hurt her.

"Whose James?"

That was Ron and Ginny was dimly aware that Harry was still watching her but she didn't, _she couldn't _look at him and talk about James, the hour before the world went to hell, with Voldemort pressing into his mind at any given second was not the moment that she wanted to tell him that he had a son. Instead from somewhere deep within her she closed her eyes took a deep breath and said with as much venom as she could muster (and that was quite a lot), "I am not leaving, my whole family is here, I am not going to sit around and do nothing and wait not knowing if…" she trailed off as something or rather _someone _collapsed through the hole in the wall in a way that she instantly recognised because in their house there had only been one of them that had ever been that clumsy.

Ginny stared because she had expected many things to happen tonight, had been prepared for them, had steeled herself against them but this had never really thought that this would happen.

Percy had returned.

He looked around and it was clear as day that he had not expected them all to be stood here sans Charlie. She heard Fleur say to Lupin something about the baby Teddy and out of curiosity (and because Lupin was standing closer to the door) she turned to look at the baby that for all she knew one day would be her son's best friend. She could see a tuft of blue hair and then she had to look away least she think of her own baby and start crying there and then. She took another step backwards as Percy was welcomed back into her family her heart both heaving and breaking as she realised that there was another baby at home who might not see his Mummy or Daddy again.

She felt sick.

A compromise was reached but Ginny hardly listened to it. She didn't care about anything other than the fact that she was not being sent home like some petulant child. She didn't even have the energy to be mad at Percy. In fact all she wanted to do was go home and crawl beneath the covers of her bed and pretend that this was not happening and watch her baby snuffle a little in his sleep.

She didn't register the battle beginning with a shudder that rocked the foundations of the castle, Tonks climbing out of the portrait hole ten seconds later followed by the rather dominating woman that Ginny knew from looks alone had to be Neville's grandmother. In fact she barely registered anything until Harry was there the manic gleam in his eyes she had last seen when it had come to Quidditch telling her it was ok, she could go now.

Ginny wanted to tell him so many things in that moment but she couldn't. She couldn't even reach for him. If she did she knew that she would completely break apart and she could not afford that. Her son needed her to win this war. He needed her to come home. He needed his mother and his mother was never going to make it through tonight unless she locked away her emotions and pulled her big girl boots on and didn't think of him.

And somehow Ginny did it.

Of course it was made easier by the fact that once she stepped out the room she could see that the castle had descended into madness.

She was aware in that moment that she had not said goodbye to any of her brothers, her mother, her father, Fleur, Lupin, she had not seen Neville or Seamus or Dean or Luna, she had not seen Astoria or Cho or Michael or anyone else who was now somewhere in this castle and as Tonks went off screaming in search of her husband Ginny turned to catch one desperate look in a pair of green eyes that seared into her existence and then Harry was gone and she turned her wand in her hand, ready to fight.

Somehow she had ended up near the old Transfiguration corridor. McGonagall had whipped up all the desks, the animals they used for spells and several rather sharp shards of glass from a smashed window and was directing them as if troops into battle. Ginny had become embroiled with a Death Eater she didn't know and she had just sent a rather neat stunning spell straight into her face when the end of the corridor exploded (probably coming from a blast upstairs) and half the floor seemed to collapse in a slide.

She slid down it and landed in what she was sure had once been the Charms corridor in another life.

Astoria Greengrass in her school skirt and shirt, her tie gone, her hair loose was cackling with all the insanity a student of Slytherin could possess as she fired curses after curses at a Death Eater Ginny was sure was one of the Lestrange brothers, the thinner one with the thin face not the hulking brute married to Voldemort's bitch Bellatrix. She fired of a curse and then ducked as a jet of green light came whizzing past her, Ginny fired two her Jelly Jegs Jinx contrasting with a transfiguration spell that made the younger Lestrange brother tremble and then transform even as his legs were wobbling into what looked like a wobbling small horned creature, it gave them some time to pull back and Ginny laughed at the look on Astoria's face. She looked like she had been through hell and back in the last months or so but still her eyeliner was impeccable.

"Wondered when you would show up" Astoria said grinning. "How've you been Weasley?"

"Good Greengrass" Ginny said "You?"

"Eh just escaping death and all that"

They stumbled backwards as another bang echoed above them followed by the sound that Ginny knew (from a lifetime of fear from Ron) were the sound of scuttling spiders.

"Come on" she ducked into a mercifully empty classroom and Astoria followed. Ginny winced. She had been taking potions to counteract the blood that she had lost due to James's birth and she fumbled in her pocket taking a swig as Astoria closed the door and praying that it would last her until the end of this battle or at the very least until she could get a tampon.

They were in what was a used storage room and Ginny was just about to say something when there was a slither of a whisper behind them. They both whirled around wands raised but before either one of them could say anything something or rather someone scrabbled out from behind a cabinet.

It was Grace.

How she had come back in when the first years were supposed to have gone was beyond Ginny's understanding at this point but she knew that if Grace was back within the castle the demonic trio that was Tommy, John and Alfie were here as well especially as Tommy had two brothers who would be fighting as well.

"Get out from behind there" Ginny snapped in no mood to be patient. Grace was sniffing as she staggered forwards and Ginny could see she was bleeding below the knee, covered in dirt and dust and close to tears.

"Fuck" Astoria said behind her. "Where's the rest of the DA kiddo?"

"Gone" Grace said wiping her eyes on the back of her soot covered hand and wiping it across her face. Her blonde hair was singed at the bottom and covered in blood. "Tom, Alf and Johnny went to the front to see if they could help Tom's brothers and I was with Talia and Maria in the Great Hall when the Death Eaters arrived. Talia stunned one and used a spell to body-bind one but I only got his legs and as he went down he killed them both. I kicked his wand away and ran. Ginny I don't want to fight anymore! I don't want to be brave. I just want to go home!"

And with that she descended into sobs. Ginny couldn't help herself she knelt down ignoring the pain in both her privates and her knee and hugged the girl. There was another crash above them and the sound of shouting coming closer.

"Ginny there gonna find us if we keep staying in one place" Astoria muttered. "Grace is it? Listen. We need to get to the Great Hall, once were there you can help with the wounded do you think you can do that? No more fighting involved but we cannot open the entrances to the castle because more will come in. Can you find something in you to be brave just a bit longer?"

Grace nodded her lower lip trembling. Astoria smiled her hand hooking under Ginny's elbow and hauling her to her feet.

"Good. Come on then and stay behind us whatever you do. If we get into a fight or fall or you get lost go straight to the Great Hall and stay there"

Grace nodded.

Astoria used a charm to get them up the hole they had fallen down and then the three of them were running as they hit the main staircase.

It was a mess of fighters. The animals from the Forbidden Forest had joined the fight and the spiders were huge. Ginny saw one crash into three boys by the main staircase and she knew who they were with a flicker of pride, irritation and rage.

Suddenly she hated Voldemort with everything she had in her because despite what she had to lose she had known going into it what was at stake. The first years who this time last year had been thrilled about coming to Hogwarts who had imagined a year of Quidditch and laughing and learning and friendship and not a year of blood and piss and war and death. She blasted a Reducto curse at the spider and he went flying upwards squealing and then through a window as Astoria blasted him backwards. Ginny turned just to block another curse coming from a masked man. Astoria touched her once on the arm and then went off engaging him in a fight so that Ginny could get to the kids cursing her bad luck that the one Slytherin that she had trusted with her son had to be one who was fighting with them and not hiding in the dungeons like the rest of the house.

She turned to see Grace helping Alfie to his feet and she eyed them critically. Tommy had a split lip and a rather nasty gash on the side of his head that was bleeding steadily but wasn't deep. Alfie was leaning heavily on Grace's shoulder and Ginny knew just by looking at him that his leg was broken. John had staggered upwards but had sat back down again breathing heavily. He was unarmed but his eyes were bugging in his head. He turned and vomited through a hole in the floor and Ginny resisted the urge to grin as she had a vivid picture of it falling on a Death Eaters head.

"What the hell do the four of you…actually no don't answer that. McGonagall can deal with you four when she catches her breath—"

"If she's still alive…" Tommy muttered.

"Oh please" John said regaining the power of speech as he ran a hand through his hair. "This is McGonagall Tom she's going to outlive us all"

Ginny personally agreed with him but she wasn't going to say so.

"Right" she said as she turned and blasted another Death Eater coming up the stairs backwards. He toppled below and crashed into another. Ginny waved her wand and suddenly the stairs rose to become a wall which gave them precious minutes but enough to hold a conversation.

"Wow"

"Well said Alfie" Ginny said wiping her eye where she was bleeding. She was choking on dust and dirt and blood. The air reeked of smoke and her ears were bleeding from the noise. Her privates were aching and her legs shaking and for all she knew she could be leaking milk into her bra and her family for all she knew could be dead in their number.

"Right" she said gritting her teeth. "I don't care about what you thought you were doing this ends now. We are going to the Great Hall and you will assist the healers as best you can with the injured. You will fetch tea and water and wrap bandages, you will probably have to sit with the dead as they die. You will probably have to count the bodies. It will be harder than this but as you are here you will do it and you will do it with no complaints otherwise you can go home and face your parents. You want to be soldiers in this war you dig in deep and do the unpleasant tasks"

She was aware she was rambling and the stone wall was not going to hold much longer but she didn't care.

"Do you understand?"

Perhaps there was something in her expression that silenced them because she got four nods and then they were off running up the staircase. Tommy and John supporting Alife and Grace with her wand out. They got to the Entrance Hall just as the doors were blasted open and the four of them were blasted aside by a hail of spells. Ginny grabbed Graces head and Tommy's arm and then shoved them to one side sending shields to protect the other two just as two green lights were about to hit them. She dragged them to one side and began to duel as the four of them huddled behind her and she saw to her great feral pleasure that she was facing Antoin Dolohov the man who had murdered her uncles and whose twisted face she longed to kick.

It was a hard duel. Ginny was good but Dolohov was a wizard of both prestigious skill and no conscious. Twice Ginny had to duck to avoid death. She fell backwards landing on her knee again and feeling the agony surge up her leg. She gripped the stick of wood that was her only contact to stay alive, for Harry, for James and then…

And then…

A dementor soared through the open window and Dolohov with all the fear of a man condemned to Azkaban took his glittering eyes of her and that was the opening Ginny needed. She used Reducto which by now she was sure was her signature spell and blasted him backwards through the wall. She didn't kill him, she didn't have enough energy to kill anyone now and she lay there breathing in and out as the cold seeped through her skin down through her bones and into her very soul.

She thought of her baby boy safe at home and she tried to conjure up James and his tiny hands and feet and his perfect little fingernails but the silver doe that she created flickered feebly and then died and Ginny closed her eyes feeling so utterly exhausted and so broken and so…

And then a kitten was there staring up at the Dememntor and a rabbit, a small puff of smoke that was taking the form of a baby elephant and another that was turning into the form of a small bear. Small animals for small students who had done the one thing that Ginny had never thought that they could do.

"Come on Ginny" that was Grace and her face came into view the blonde hair that was dangling black with smoke and dust and her eyes filled with tears. "Were still here, come on you know you can do it. You taught us everything you know, everything we know, you looked after us when nobody else would and we don't hate you for leaving us then, we know you care, we know you can fight, come on were eleven we cannot hold off a dementor much longer you have to help us please!" That coupled in the form of a sob and the image that Ginny could see of Tommy straining to keep his animal that she knew the Dementor would glide over in seconds.

She didn't know how she did it but she did. She forced herself upright and thought of James in his Daddy's arms and Harry's slow smile when he saw their son and the peaceful life that could be awaiting them if only they lived through this night, this hour, this very minute.

"EXPECTO PATRONAM"

The scream came out of Ginny and so did the silver doe. She pushed herself onto her feet seeing the animal that had once been a horse and was now something else entirely she thought that nothing at this point could surprise her.

And then another thing happened.

She felt it before she heard the voice. She could feel the air go colder and then as if it echoed from the very walls of the school that she had for so long called her second home she could hear the voice of the wizard that had haunted her world for over two decades.

She listened standing here her hands curled around her wand and on the ache in her leg as he asked for Harry, as he wanted Harry. Ginny hoped someone would get to Harry before he did something stupid like go to Voldemort there and then and end this. She knew Harry, people dying for him was something he was not going to take for much longer.

There was a pause as the voice disappeared and Ginny had the sense that the Death Eaters paused throughout the castle were gone, the spells surrounding Hogwarts and apparition lay in the rubble and for one hour they were safe.

Ginny took a breath and turned around. Alfie had slumped to the floor his leg at an odd angle. John had his hands over his ears. Tommy vomited all down the floor.

"Ginny!" Ginny whirled around her wand in her hand ready to attack but she saw it was George and Angelina holding hands as well as they raced up the staircase. Angelina was holding her side and she had cuts down her face but she looked alright. Ginny smiled at her and turned to George and paused. There was something in his face she couldn't put her finger on. She knew it and George knew it as if they were standing on the precipice of something that would change their lives forever.

George's eyes turned from Ginny to the four eleven year olds behind her and he swore.

"How the fuck did they get back?"

Ginny shrugged. "I bet there's gonna be a few that did though. Harry needed the room and he kicked me out but I don't know how many people came back in. Tonks, Neville's gran and I didn't exactly keep count."

George raised an eyebrow. "Tough little fuckers to survive this long" he said under his breath, "The kids you were teaching?"

Ginny nodded.

"George" Angelina said patting him on the shoulder and then moving past him so she could go and help Alfie. "Let's get the kids into the Great Hall for some tea. I'm sure we can find something for them to do" she waved her wand and Alfie's leg seemed to straighten. He stood up winced but could walk. At least his leg was not broken.

"Your amazing you know" George said with a rather loved up expression on his face.

"Don't sound so surprised Weasley" Angelina said with a grin. "Now…Ginny who've we got here?"

"This is Alife, John, Grace and Tommy, all first years, all pro-active and enthusiastic members of Dumbledore's Army. And we agreed they would go back into the Great Hall and help the Healers and take any punishment from McGonagall that she dishes out"

"Yeah she's in one hell of a mood" George said dithering. "Turned all the desks on the fourth floor into marching armies and then she and Professor Trelawney teamed up and took down Crabbe Snr which was perhaps the strangest thing I have seen this night. Alright then kids, let's go, but I should warn you there bringing in the dead so be prepared"

There was something in his voice that made Ginny pause.

"Where's Fred?"

"I lost him somewhere on the fifth floor" George said his voice light and airy but with an undercurrent of concern in his voice. Ginny started. Somehow even in the midst of battle she had never thought of Fred and George as being separated even in the midst of battle.

"Come on" George said shivering "Let's see who made it"

They staggered into the Great Hall to see students milling about. Already Angelina had directed the students to the large fire and had them sitting down away from the dead which were in a line in the hall. The injured where up where the staff table had been and with a swoop of something unidentifiable Ginny realised that the dead in the long line were only the ones whose bodies had been found in the castle. There were clumps of students searching for more on the upper floors, in the dorms and the bathrooms and outside in the grounds.

She staggered feeling sick as she took in Lupin and Tonks pale under the light from the ceiling almost holding hands. She couldn't think about them or their baby without thinking of hers back in that stuffy house and hopefully unaware of anything that had taken place tonight. She moved past the two of them and saw several people she knew. There was Maria and Talia like Grace had said, there was Michael Corner's little sister, Eloise Midgeon, the brother of Susan Bones. So many siblings of students she knew. There were several students she knew had snuck back in determined to do their bit. Lives gone to waste. And more coming in through the Entrance Hall doors.

And then she heard it.

It was the low groan of someone dying.

It was the sound Ginny knew being a new mother herself—that a mother made when they found their baby dead. She turned something settling in her stomach that was suspiciously like dread and she found she wanted to turn and run away so she didn't have to see without seeing Percy his face ashen with grief stagger upright so that he could meet her halfway. She didn't want to see George fall to his knees as if the strings had gone out of him or the way their father had caught him looking older than he had ever done. She didn't want to see Bill clinging to Fleur like she was one of the only things he had left in this world because to see all of that was to realise that one of her brothers was missing. She knew it was not Ron lying there because the jeans were all wrong but her brain would not catch up with what her heart was telling her.

Percy caught her at the elbow and she was aware she was gasping at him tears on her face as her brother looked down at her his own grief and shock and despair etched on his handsome face.

"Who?"

She didn't need to ask, looking back she knew she didn't need to ask but she did anyway. Because asking was the only way she could confirm it and she was not ready yet to see without knowing what she was seeing in front of her.

"Fred"

Percy didn't need to say anything else. Indeed he looked like he could not form the words to say anything else. Ginny felt her heart, what was left of it break and she collapsed into Percy's arms as he lowered her to the floor wrapping his arms around her as if she was a breakable doll as she rocked back and forth her body shuddering with the grief she could cry out with.

Fred was dead.

Fred was dead.

Her big brother was _dead_.

The words to her did not make sense. She did not know how to forge them together.

Fred was dead. It was like a good Voldemort, an evil Harry, a stupid Hermione or even a puppy cuddling Bellatrix Lestrange.

She was screaming silently unable to say a word other than those gasping sobs. She didn't even realise that Ron was there bending his knee to see his brother's face or Hermione looping an arm around Fleur's waist as the two of them hugged. Hermione who this time last year had been commiserating with her at having Fleur as a sister in law and they had gossiped about her using words that were not kind. So much had changed in that one year. Neither Fleur, nor Hermione nor Ginny were girls anymore.

And Fred was no more.

George let out a howl that had several people looking up. Angelina, Ginny could see her face ashen with grief moved to go to him but stopped herself at the last minute instead turning back to help Demelza who was limping into the room helping a bleeding Ritche Coote. Ginny turned and staggered upright ignoring the pain in her knee, after all it was nothing to what was in her heart.

She thought she saw Harry turn and go down the corridor and she staggered upright pushing away Percy who suddenly had hands full with Ron, she staggered past Grace who was carrying a big copper kettle and pouring a mug for Seamus who was shaking so violently with the aftershocks of some spell that he couldn't hold the cup. Tommy helped him drink it while she saw Alfie stirring a cauldron counter clockwise with some healing potion and John counting the sheets they would use no doubt to cover the dead that people were still bringing in.

She staggered to the entrance hall and saw Oliver Wood carrying a body like a muggle labourer would. She saw who it was and her stomach plunged and she had to clamp her fingers over her mouth least she start screaming for real this time.

It was Colin Creevey.

The sweet boy who had sat next to her in charms on her very first day. Who had hugged her when she had attempted to apologise for her actions that year. Who had shown her how a muggle camera had worked and who had laughed with her over sweets, who had shown her how muggle buses work and who had given out cans of some coke thing that the muggles adored when he came back from the summer, who had talked about rehauling the Daily Prophet into a newspaper the wizarding world could be proud off. All of that potential gone due to a curse from a Death Eater.

Her friend was tiny in death at sixteen as he had been in life at eleven.

Ginny let them past and then staggered out into the courtyard, retched and then vomited.

She needed to tidy herself up so she staggered back in finding the nearest girls toilets, she slugged the rest of the potion down and wiped her breasts that were beginning to leak with milk for James. She vomited again retching and heaving until there was nothing left to give, drinking water straight from the tap and splashing it on her face when she was done, determined not to look in the mirror least she break down completely at what she saw and then when she thought there was nothing left she staggered back outside feeling the cool air on her face.

The stars were in the sky and she found herself staring at them though Fred could no longer see them. She felt the cold air on her face though Fred could never feel it again and she felt her heart break again and again even though Fred could never tell her it was ok. She sat on the stone steps looking over the sea of bodies littering the grounds and knew that in a moment she would have to go and see if she could identify any more. It seemed a lifetime since her brother was telling her that he understood her desire to fight, to build a better world for her son who would never know his uncle. The uncle who had held him and laughed with him. The brother who had helped Ginny to get on a broomstick and who had teased her and who had hugged her until she had felt like laughing rather than crying after the Chamber debacle. She had lost a brother and James had lost an uncle before he had even gotten a chance to know him.

She wrapped her arms around herself suddenly missing the security of her belly and felt the tears come down her face rapidly. She could give herself this one minute.

Her brother was dead.

Her brother was dead.

_Fred was dead. _

They had been fighting for over four hours, they only had one hour of respite and then the fighting would begin again and Ginny could lose her other brothers, her parents, her friends, Harry…

Merlin if he gave himself to Voldemort…Ginny would give the monster a run for his money if she got a hold of him. This was bigger than him. This war that they were fighting, this was bigger than Harry and Voldemort and whatever mission Dumbledore had left him. This was the fate of the world that Ginny's son had to grow up in.

And with that thought in mind she staggered to her feet feeling every bone in her body ache. She had to go on, she had to keep moving even if Colin Creevey, even if Remus and Tonks, even if Fred were dead.

She could not dwell on the fact that her baby was not yet two weeks old and had already lost an uncle. If she thought about that she'd collapse.

Instead she gripped her wand and put one foot in front of the other and went to see what she could do to help in this one fleeting put golden hour of calm before the storm.

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**And there you are, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and i will do my best to publish the next one sooner rather than later as i always say. **

**Next Chapter-The storm before the calm. The battle begins again as a new day is born. Harry makes a sacrifice, Ginny avoids death by the skin of her teeth, the first years make themselves useful, and Molly Weasley utters perhaps her most famous line. **


	25. Everything We Did Was For Nothing

**Hi, so here is another chapter and we are now only two more chapters away from this story. This one breaks a little with point of view but I have grown quite fond of my little first year ducklings and so I wanted to give them a bit of a chance to shine. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing here is mine, **

**And especially I hope you like a specific scene that I know a lot of you wanted to see-I certainly enjoyed writing it. **

**Again this is a long one so please read and review if you've got time and let me know what you think. **

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Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 25-Everything We Did Was For Nothing.

The storm before the calm, the battle for Hogwarts part two. The battle continues as a new day is born. Harry makes a sacrifice, Ginny avoids death by the skin of her teeth, the first years make themselves useful and Molly Weasley utters her most infamous line. And Ron learns something rather…surprising. Some changing Point of View (briefly).

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Ginny somehow had forced herself to stand and stagger into the grounds despite the fact that every bone in her body was aching against such a decision.

She did not know what she was doing, but she knew that she had to do something.

After all, there were a lot of bodies out there in the grounds scattered somewhere amongst the darkness some of them injured, some of them dying and some of them dead. She took a deep breath and bent over the body of someone on the ground their face half burnt. Death Eater. She moved on.

She carried on like that for a short period of time watching and seeing the dead. Amongst them was Eloise Midgen, Fay Dunbar, Sally Ann Perks, Lily Moon, Callum McDonald whose sister Morag had been in Harry's year who was a year younger than Ginny, a Ravenclaw she knew from her relationship with Michael was called Arthur Thorne. More Death Eaters scattered amongst the dead, the owner of Zonko's, the owner of Madam Puddyfoots…and then she heard someone whimpering.

It was a girl a year below Ginny who she knew by name being a Gryffindor. Her name was Emma Morgan. Her blonde hair was staining the ground red, her stomach had been slashed with Sectumspempra. Ginny didn't know much about healing but she knew enough to know that she was too late to do anything here.

"Hey Emma" she said. Emma cracked on eye open and Ginny sat down pulling the girl into a sitting position so that when she died she wasn't lying on a cold, hard, wet patch of mud.

"Ginny…I think I got Theo Nott's dad" she hiccupped blood spattering at the corner of her mouth. Ginny blotted it away feeling tears come to her eyes. She looked up to see the man crumpled a way away breathing heavily. Half his hand was red and shiny and burnt and his legs were twitching. Ginny grinned.

"Yeah it looks like you did" she said. "You did good Emma"

"I didn't want to come back but Colin asked me to" Emma said finally. "He, Jimmy, Jack, Demelza, Ritchie, they all came back too and I couldn't say know but I want to go home Ginny, I want my Mum"

Ginny closed her eyes against the wave of tears. The reality was that Emma was not going to see her mother in this life.

"I know" she said finally. "It's alright, I promise you, I'm gonna stay right with you until she arrives ok?"

Emma nodded though her face was whiter and the blood that was steadily leaking out of her had slowed as if there was nothing left to come out and that told Ginny in a way that she had never known before that the end was near.

She had never seen anyone die, not really. Sirius had gone through the veil and she had been slowly waking in another room at the time. Cedric had already been dead when he had come back to Hogwarts, Mad-Eye had never been given the dignity of a funeral so there had been no body and while she had seen Dumbledore all she had really seen was something crumpled in Hagrid's arms. Even when she had come for Harry that night she had not looked at the body, she had instead focused on the man that she loved and getting him out of the crowd that had gathered and back to the Hospital Wing where everyone had been waiting.

She had never held someone in their arms as they died and Ginny hugged Emma a bit closer as the girl once again asked for her Mother.

She thought she heard someone behind her walking and she turned to look scrambling for her wand as it slid through her dirt encrusted hands. But there was nobody behind her. Still she looked as if she could see beyond trees and wind and the oppressive night sky, as if she could see someone there watching under his invisibility cloak.

Finally after what felt like an age but was really five minutes she turned away and looked at Emma, her eyes were closed, her breathing fluttering and Ginny knew that for this silly little fifteen year old girl life was over before it had even begun.

"It's ok Emma" she said into the dirt and blood encrusted hair rocking her back and forth a little as she had seen her mother do many times when they were little and had nightmares that sent them running to their parents rooms for comfort. "You can go now, You've been so brave, but you can go…you can go, and I'll tell your Mum for you how brave you were"

Emma gave one little shallow breath and then her hand dropped into the mud and her head rolled backwards and Ginny knew she was dead.

She placed her back on the ground and stared wondering how she was going to find it in her to tell a mother that her baby was dead and that she had died not in the comfort of her own bed after a long life but in the arms of a girl she barely knew, bleeding out and crying for her mum as everyone around her was helpless.

There were footsteps behind her and she whirled around again but it was McGonagall. Her hair was half down from it's tight bun and her robes were ripped and she looked older than Ginny had ever seen her. It was odd really; she had never considered Minerva McGonagall as old. She had been as Dumbledore had always seemed to be, indestructible, inflexible, solid and dependable. Now she looked a decade older and Ginny felt the same somehow.

"I couldn't do anything" she said finally. "I tried but I don't know the spells and she had lost so much blood already"

"I know Ginny" McGonagall said bending down and waving her wand so that Emma's robes which had ripped when she had been blasted by the curse were repaired therefore covering her up. Her voice was oddly gentle. "I know, but we must go inside, soon enough the battle will be starting and we do not want to be found out here"

She waved her wand and Emma rose her blonde hair flying out from under her and began a slow pace to the castle. Ginny followed as her knee screamed in protest.

"We do not have favourites you know" McGonagall said suddenly. "As teachers you know, or I do not at any rate, it wouldn't be proper. But…" and here her voice trembled a little in a way that Ginny had never heard it before. "But I was very fond of Fred. Very fond."

Ginny felt another wave of pain grip her as she thought of her brother. "Thank you." she said simply. "I know you were very fond of Lupin too—"

"He is with his friends now" McGonagall said simply. "He…well I don't think he ever recovered from James and Lily. And then just as he got Sirius back he lost him. But he got some happiness in the end, not as much as he deserved but some"

"You believe that?"

"Yes. And Fred no doubt is with them, probably being initiated into the Marauder's gang. No doubt wherever they are they are causing chaos already"

Ginny laughed, it was strange to do that as she had thought that she would never do that again. What was wrong with her? She watched as McGonagall placed Emma down on a stretcher and the sheet rose to cover her. Already there were bodies scattered across the hall and students were beginning to move them in preparation for the coming battle.

"I think Fred would like that" she said simply.

"Hmm…Weasley am I right in thinking—" Ginny noticed the return of her surname and couldn't stop herself from grinning again. Why oh why was that?

"That those first years were taught by you how to do Patronus's?"

"Oh yeah. I guess so…"

McGonagall looked at her considering something clearly.

"You might want to think about teaching Weasley. You've got a knack for it"

She moved to sweep past Ginny into the Great Hall when Ginny got her voice back.

"Wait your not mad at them for coming back?"

McGonagall turned. "Oh am I furious" she said smiling a smile that Ginny knew from experience promised a thousand and one detentions. "But I learnt from teaching all the Potters, all the Weasley's, Miss Granger, Mr Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and many other's over the course of my long career that if I show my anger I may as well dig my own grave. Besides…somehow I think whatever I do to them will be nothing when their own parents get their hands on them"

And with that she swept off.

Ginny smiled despite everything and followed limping slightly. Minerva McGonagall was a legend in her own right and to quote a muggle saying used once by Dean Thomas, when shit hit the fan Ginny pitted the poor Death Eater that ended up duelling her.

She turned to see her family sat in one corner of the hall. They had moved Fred's body which was good because Ginny didn't want to look at him. Her heart was breaking as she thought about who she had lost, who James had lost but she didn't want to think of his body, see the look on his face. She wanted to close her eyes at night and remember her brother as he had lived and laughed and loved.

She wanted to remember him that way not just for herself but for her son.

Ron had his head on her Hermione's shoulder her hand on her knee rubbing it softly. Her mother and father were in an embrace so tight Ginny couldn't look at them without feeling her own desire for Harry, for her baby bring her to tears again. Percy was sat next to Ron and Bill and Fleur were together, Fleur it appeared had cut herself on the cheek and thought the wound was barely a scratch Bill was fussing over it his hands shaking. Fleur said nothing but was watching him her blue eyes wide with concern. George was not there and Ginny wondered if he had gone to where Fred's body was. Angelina was not their either and she hoped that she had gone with George so that he was not alone as the reality that he had lost his other half had begun to sink in.

"Who the fuck is James?"

That was Ron. Ginny turned to him her eyes wide. His tone was not what you would call polite. She was aware that Percy too was watching her.

"What's it to you?" she asked playing for time.

"Harry is my best mate, as much as a brother as all of the people that I sat around a dinner table with, and he loves you. I know that you were really cut up when he ended it and but he's been cut up over you too, I just…didn't expect you to throw yourself at the first bloke who offered"

Ginny stared at him. There were a million and one reasons not to tell him, after all they could still loose but emotionally tonight she had been raked over the coals. She had gained a brother thought lost and lost a brother she had thought gained, she had seen Harry and then lost sight of Harry, she had fought her way through more dangers than she had ever imagined. She had been responsible for four incredibly brave and amazingly stupid kids, she had held a girl as she had died in her arms. And throughout this year she had battled loss and pain, morning sickness (which deserved it's own mention) fear, living with Muriel and then childbirth (which again deserved it's own mention) and she was just _not in the fucking mood right now! _

So she said the truth.

"James is my son you stupid twat"

Admittedly she might have added some embellishments. She had grown up with six brothers after all. She'd had a vocabulary that would have made even the most hardened witch or wizard blush at the age of ten.

Ron fell of the bench he was sitting on.

Hermione scrambled down to help him back to his feet. Ginny turned to see Percy looking at her as if she had confessed to a secret life as a Voldemort groupie.

"How?" Percy stuttered.

"Percy if you need me to tell you how then you've been alone for a very long time"

"I mean I know how!" Percy snapped his ears going red and sounding more like himself than Ginny had heard over the course of the last three years. "I mean…whose the…oh" his eyes widened and Ginny knew that Percy at least got it. She turned and saw Hermione's eyes widen and knew that she too had calculated backwards.

"Harry's the father" she said. "The wedding?"

Ginny nodded.

"Wait" Ron said looking up at Hermione, "Harry's the—what? I mean—you knew about this?"

"I knew that Ginny had done it, I had thought you'd used protection?"

"Turns out Mad-Eye never checked the expiration dates on his Boomslang skin"

"Huh" Hermione said shaking her head. "You'd have thought that was something he'd have checked"

"Tell me about it" Ginny muttered.

"Wait…wait…" Ron said with the air of a man desperate to get the conversation back onto a playing field he understood.

"So you and Harry—" he made a flapping gesture with his hand and pulled a face at the thought and then rapidly continued. "And you got—pregnant and then you what—"

"Long story short, I didn't find out until I was at Hogwarts and I kept it under wraps until Easter. Didn't make much difference me not going back after that anyway because you got spotted at Malfoy Manner. James was born sometime after that."

"Where is he?" Ron asked eyeing Ginny suddenly as if trying to see if she was carrying James under her shirt. Ginny rolled her eyes, battered, bruised, torn and grieving and Ron was still Ron.

"Muriel's she's watching him"

"Poor kid" Percy muttered.

Hermione snorted.

"Does Harry know?" Ron asked still looking stunned.

"Of course Harry doesn't know Ron" Hermione snapped rolling her eyes heavenwards though weather or not that was at the stupidity of Ron or the stupidity of the male race Ginny did not know. With Hermione sometimes it was hard to tell.

"Do you honestly believe that Harry would keep that from us?"

"I couldn't tell him and I don't want him to know until we win, it's a distraction Ron and…and we might not win"

"Oh we can win this" Ron said confidently. "There's only the snake left"

"What's his snake got to do with it?" Percy asked but then there was a scream that had ripped the air apart and shocked everyone trapped in the Great Hall into silence, the scream seemed to carry on for an eternity and Ginny only knew it was of a woman who had lost everything in that second. She reached blindly for a hand to cling to not noticing that it was Percy's.

"I think…" she turned as did everyone's head in the hall to where Tommy was stood at the table with Grace filling mugs with tea…he had gone white with shock and spoke in tone that indicated he didn't believe what he was saying.

"I think that might be Professor McGonagall. She went outside with Professor Slughorn and that man with the bald head and the earring to see if they could reinstate some protection"

There was a shivering second of pause and then everyone was on their feet pushing past each other, Ron and Hermione in the lead to see what was going on. Ginny was half being dragged by Percy and then half pushed forwards by Seamus and then ahead Ron stopped and let out a cry of such horror that Ginny's knee already pushed to the limit gave out. Seamus yanked her up by her other elbow dirt etched on his face and there was something in his eyes that told Ginny that something terrible was coming.

Hermione screamed and then her father was pushing forwards. He stopped still and Ginny pushed forwards because she knew that she had to see…

She had to see.

And then she saw.

It was Harry in Hagrid's arms.

He was dead.

She was sure that the noise that came out of her was not human. Somewhere between making it her knees went and she was aware of her father holding her up with Percy but she couldn't care less in that exact moment in time. All her focus was on the body of the man that she had loved since she was eleven. Her baby's father, the first man who had touched her and loved her and held her like she was precious but not breakable.

And James. Even through her own grief Ginny knew that James had lost just as much if not more than she had lost. Because her baby had now lost his father without ever knowing him and the fantasies that she had of Harry teaching James how to fly on a broomstick and holding his hands as he walked and hugging his son as he got his Hogwarts letter and all the moments, the little moments that she had dreamed about were gone.

_They had lost. _

It was quite strange really, once she had accepted that fact the clinical part of Ginny's brain cut through the grief and the pain and the anger and forced her to get to her feet. She had to find Astoria, she had to get the younger Greengrass out of Hogwarts and too her son, she had to make sure James slipped by Voldemort's reign and that he never knew that he existed. Astoria could take him overseas for a few years, Fleur's family could take them in perhaps and then once Malfoy was cemented in power…well…who knows. But she had to get her son to safety and that meant anywhere but with her, because at this moment Ginny knew she was as good as dead. She and Harry had been brazen enough with their relationship for word to spread around and she was a member of the biggest bunch of Blood Traitors going.

She was dead.

But she would be damned if she did not take out Bellatrix Lestrange before death came for her. For Tonks, for Neville's mum and dad, for her Uncle's, for all the innocent people who had come under that witches wand and who had lost their lives (or worse) and for all the ones that would the innocent children like Grace and Tommy, Alife, John and all the other members of the DA. _Bellatrix Lestrange must die. _

She stood up as Neville stepped forwards. Finally she had a purpose. There was not much left but that at this point anyway.

And then Neville was on fire. Ginny screamed unable to stop herself partly out of shock partly out of grief because if she lost Neville as well…

And then Neville wearing the Sorting Hat twisted breaking the body-bind curse and was pulling something silver and red that Ginny knew he had once risked all to get this year. Neville twisted again the sword of his house in his hand and the great snake that Voldemort claimed as his own was dead, her head on the floor and with a scream for the thing that was human but yet not human hit them all and Ginny knew with a feral certainty that the battle had begun again.

They were being pushed backwards and she followed into the Great Hall. She saw Hermione and Luna and then it began.

* * *

He was not sure what had happened, one moment Grace was sobbing on his shoulder. Alife and John clutching each other as they stared at Harry Potter slumped in Hagrid's arms. Tommy had felt a terrible sense of anguish. Even he could accept that this was a massive blow.

Tommy had come from a family where even if they didn't shout their views from the rooftop opinions were clear within the walls. They followed Dumbledore. Tommy's mother had died in childbirth and his father had worked at the Ministry in the Department of Magical Bangs and Catastrophe's. His mother had been muggle born and Tommy had heard the rumours that when his mother had been fifteen she had marched to Professor Dumbledore's office and demand to join his secret society the Order of the Flamey Bird Thingy. Which might not be the exact name but Tommy was eleven not perfect.

His Dad was so gonna kill him. Had it not been for a son at Hogwarts Tommy was sure his Dad would be here now. Actually he wouldn't put it past his Dad to arrive any second. Already he must know that Tommy was not a the place where kids were meeting their parents.

It was something he and Grace had bonded over as she too had been raised by a single father and she too was half blood. Only her mother had been a muggle who had freaked at the thought of magic and who wanted nothing to do with a child who could levitate spoons. Alfie and John came from two parent households but John's mother was muggleborn who had gone into hiding, John had three times this year hidden from The Carrows who had gone looking for him in search of his mother. The last two months he had been in that Room with Neville. Alfie had a difficult relationship with his parents on a good day and Tommy full expected to have him staying with them for the summer.

Providing his Dad let him live.

Either way one second Grace had been sobbing against his shoulder. The next Neville had been on fire and Tommy had been amongst the ones screaming as the snake (the thing of nightmares) came up and then down headless as Neville stood there gripping a sword.

"Move" Alfie said pushing them backwards and they were moving with the crowd into the castle. Alfie shoved open the door to a empty classroom and then slammed it behind them when all four of them were in rubbing his leg were Ginny's mother tears running down her face had helped to heal it fully.

"What do we do?" John asked.

"We fight" Tommy said. "But I have an idea"

"Oh fuck" Grace said grinning wiping her eyes.

"Come on"

And then they were running hurtling down corridors but it seemed that every chance they had to die missed them. A set of stairs leading to the kitchens had been turned into a slide and they slid down it landing in something that Tommy suspected had once been a spider.

"Grace" he said as he blasted something back through a window. "You know if your not grounded over the summer can I write to you?"

"Why?" Grace asked levitating a vase and throwing it towards a Death Eater.

"Well I think I quite…well.."

"Tommy" Grace said as they reached the end of the corridor. "Don't say anything to me you wouldn't say if were weren't running for our lives"

They had hit the building that they were in search for.

"Kitchens?" John said as Alfie bent over coughing slightly. "Tom I don't think now is the time for a chocolate éclair"

"No you idiot" Tommy said beaming. "House Elves!"

And with that he tickled the pear and the door swung open.

* * *

It had not taken long to find Bellatrix Lestrange, if she had not been mad after Azkaban she had clearly lost the plot now. She was cackling and cursing in equal measure and once she had seen Ginny she had leaned forwards and had smiled showing a fair cry of yellow teeth.

"Ah if it isn't Potter's little whore. How do you feel little whore knowing your man is dead"

Ginny laughed as manically as Sirius had, as manically as she could do and leaned forwards ready to duel to the death.

"Bring it you inbred bitch"

And they were off. Ginny was good but Bellatrix was a witch with as insane skill and no conscious. Hermione entered at some point followed by Luna and then the three of them were battling Bellatrix all at once.

Ginny ducked once as a jet of green light whizzed so close to her elbow she was sure she could feel the sting. She was half aware in that second of the Centaurs arriving shooting arrows and someone opening the door to the kitchens and the house elves coming through carrying knives and cleavers and somewhere she was sure she could hear Tommy shout. "Charge!" as the house elves attacked anyone they could see in a mask.

"Come on" she goaded Bellatrix as she deflected another blast. "You can do better than that. Or did you go soft in Azkaban? Did you dry up your magic like your sex appeal so even the Dark Lord doesn't want to touch you"

Bellatrix screamed and Luna was thrown backwards and Ginny ducked death again by an instant and then…

And then…

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!"

Ginny nearly fell over. Never had she heard that language come out of that woman's voice. It was her mother, cloak aside thrusting past students (Percy, George, Ron, Charlie and Bill with gaping mouths) past their father who was watching with terror on his face and then past Ginny who was blasted backwards hitting her face and her bad knee on the floor. Her privates screamed with protest and her breasts ached with milk again and Dean was there forcing her upwards as the circle became six duellers and everyone watching.

It was Voldemort and Slughorn, Kingsley and McGonagall and her mother and Bellatrix and Ginny was half aware that Neville was at her side and unaware his grandmother was as well until she piped up.

"Arthur, if Molly should fall I am taking the duel. I owe that bitch pain"

There was a savagery in Augusta Longbottom's face that Ginny had never seen before and for the first time she could understand what Neville's grandmother had gone through when her son and daughter in law had fallen. The look she gave to Bellatrix was so barbaric Ginny had to look away and she suspected that if Augusta got her hands on Bellatrix it would not be a clean death but a death filled with days or years of agony.

She started as next to her the first years arrived. "We got the house elves in" Grace said her face flush and a cut above her cheek and speaking very, very fast. "And then we ended up duelling and I think we got some man called Avery. Well Tommy hit him with a lower leg body bind curse it was brilliant but John wacked him over the head with a fire poker which I think did it. Everything just seemed to miss"

"Well done girl" Augusta said her eyes not off Bellatrix. "Now hush, I have been waiting for this moment for sixteen years"

Ginny pulled her head back into the game to hear the word Freddie. Like hell.

"YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH OUR CHILDREN AGAIN"

Bellatrix let out a maniacal laugh and Ginny remembered for some reason Sirius. Ginny herself had been drifting in an out of consciousness for much of that battle and she was still unsure of what she remembered but she thought on darkest nights that she remembered the laughter.

And then she knew what was going to happen.

Her mother's curse hit Bellatrix squarly in the chest. The other woman seemed to stop her face etched in surprise and Ginny knew that Bellatrix knew what had happened. And then she fell backwards and she was dead.

Neville swore. Something moved to her mother and Augusta stepped forwards. Her jet of green light hit Bellatrix's husband Rodolphus in the face and he too keeled over. Rabastian had already fallen early this night Ginny knew from when she had been with Astoria and she knew that the people who had tortured Neville's Mum and Dad were gone, Crouch Jr was dead in all forms anyway.

For Neville it was over.

"Fuck" Neville said and then he was pushing her backwards and Ginny was pushing the first years backwards as McGonagall, Kingsley and Slughorn were blasted backwards as Voldemort turned at the death of his best, his most loyal Death Eater and then before he could turn his wand on her mother someone else had streaked into the circle and Ginny found that she was screaming and crying and sobbing on Neville's shoulder her dignity and her pride as well as her sanity it seemed gone.

Because Harry was alive.

"Yes!" Alfie cried and Ginny turned to see the four of them in some one armed hug as they danced and jumped up and down at the return of their hero. Neville wrapped his arms around her and it was he that kept her standing even as he held his wand in one hand and the sword in another.

Harry was saying something and Ginny had to struggle to keep up because the last few hours of night as dawn was shining through the shattered windows and the ceiling setting brown, black, red and blonde hair in the hall alight had been an emotional rollercoaster.

She struggled to keep up, to keep her eyes off his form and onto the task at hand. He was talking about Snape.

She listened in mounting disbelief but then again nothing could surprise her. And things…things were making sense… Snape had loved Harry's mother and the second that Voldemort had gone after Lily Potter he had played the longest game imaginable. Ginny had never have thought Snape capable of such devotion. Of any kind of emotion really other than distain but now she was listening she found that she could see it and understand it.

And for the first time Ginny Weasley felt sympathy for her old potions master Professor Snape wherever he was, whatever had happened to him this night.

But Harry was not done, he was talking about the Elder Wand about Draco Malfoy and Ginny didn't know what was happening but she knew that she had to keep her head in the game despite how every inch of her was crying for a bath, for a piss and a warm bed, for a drink and something to eat and her baby safe and sound in her arms. It didn't feel like it had just been a night since she had handed him to Muriel. It felt so much longer. A lifetime.

Harry mentioned Horcruxus. Ginny had no idea what that was about but Augusta next to her let out a low hiss. "Of course" she said under her breath to herself. "Of course that's how he survived"

Ginny was about to ask just what that was supposed to mean when Harry said calling Voldemort by the name that Ginny herself had once known him as, as the name back then of her dearest friend and confidant, Tom to think about what he had done over the course of a long period of time. To think of the killings, the torture, the deaths of both wizards and muggles alike that could never be solved. The pain and the misery and the fear that he had left people in and to think of some remorse.

It shocked him. Of everything he had heard tonight it was this moment here facing down a seventeen year old pleading with him to feel some remorse for his actions that shocked him. Ginny wanted to feel surprise, even disgust but instead she surprised herself by feeling incredibly sad. She felt sad that Tom Riddle, the boy, the man, the wizard, the monster and everything he had been in between couldn't muster up a slither of remorse for what he had done over the course of his long lifetime. What that said about her Ginny didn't know but she was too tired to ponder on it.

And then Harry raised his wand and Voldemort did the same and Ginny knew from this moment on the fate of the Wizarding World would never be the same. Red met green and then with a bang it was over. Dawn light blinded them for a shivering moment and then the husk that had been the most feared wizard of a generation fell back and Harry Potter with all the skill of a seeker caught the wand that had once belonged to Albus Dumbledore and stared down at the body of his enemy.

It was over.

It was over.

_It was over. _

For another heartbeat of shivering silence nobody moved and then the cheers and the screams and the tears hit the air. Ron and Hermione got to Harry first. Ginny got to touch an elbow and then she was pulled into Neville's arms. Seamus tears etched on his face turned and kissed Dean who pulled him into his arms and Ginny took a moment to understand her previous relationship and then she started laughing because _she should have known. _

Percy was hugging her and then found himself with an armful of Parvati her face etched in tears. She saw George reach for Angelina who folded into his arms. Her mother sobbing into her father's. Bill picking up Fleur and twirling her around. Neville and Hannah holding hands as his grandmother sobbed into her handkerchief. Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy hugging Draco whose eyes were on Astoria who was hugging both her sister and Blaise Zabini. Charlie was hugging Kingsley, Slughorn had collapsed swigging copiously out of his hipflask, Oliver Wood hugging Katie and Alicia hugging Lee. Ron and Hermione snogging and then Hermione breaking apart to hug Luna and then to her utter surprise and then giving way to a hysterical giggle she saw Professor McGonagall sobbing holding a sobbing Professor Trelawney.

But she didn't get much time to watch that as four eleven year olds had jumped on her.

"We did, we did it!" Alife said letting go of her and then hugging John who as shouting at the top of his head. Grace had fallen to the floor and was sobbing into her hands and Tommy with a whooping noise waved his wand in the air as red sparks and a small elephant danced around his feet.

Ginny hugged them all hardly aware that she was crying herself.

"THOMAS"

"Oh hell" Tommy said from where he had been patting Grace awkwardly on the head. "Dad"

Tommy's Dad pushed through the crowd and Ginny got a sense of curly dark hair and brown eyes and a cut on the side of his face and then Tommy was being swept up into his Dad's arms and father and son were clinging to each other.

"Come on" said a voice and she turned to see her own father standing their shock, pain and grief etched on his face. "Let's go"

He held his hand out and Ginny took it as she forced herself to her feet.

Arthur Weasley then bent down and with a gentle smile found a handkerchief from somewhere and passed it to Grace who was still sobbing. "Come along" he said gently. "Were going to get the house tables back in a second and I think you all need some tea and some food and then bed"

He helped her to her feet and then patted the man still clinging to Tommy. "Rory" he muttered softly. "Let's go sit down"

"You know him?" Ginny said turning to her father.

"Yes, he's been passing information to the Order for the six months or so, his cover was blown a week ago but I think he fought himself out and came here. Your brother Charlie got him back here with everyone else he could find"

Ginny nodded feeling like she was in a daze. She got Grace into a chair and a cup of tea into her hands but before the girl could so much as drink a sip of it there was another shout as the parents of the students of Hogwarts who had stayed behind to fight came forwards determined for better or for worse to see their children.

"GRACE ELIZABETH BRADY!"

"Dad" Grace breathed and then a man with blonde hair as bright as his daughters was shoving past Neville and Seamus and was hugging his daughter with all the strength he could muster. Grace disintegrated again into tears and her father sat down rocking her back and forth. Alfie collapsed at the house table and poured himself a glass of water drinking heavily with shaking hands. John however turned to her father.

"Mr Weasley? My Dad…my Mum went into hiding some time ago. She's muggle born you see and I don't know if he or she will know if I am safe or that she's safe to come out. Is there some way to tell them because I don't think I can hold a quill right now" he held out his hands and Ginny could see they were shaking.

"What's your name son?" her father said kindly.

"John. John Lucas Matthews. My Dad's names John too but he goes by Johnny and my mother's name is Leonie"

"Alright John, I think I can find away to let him know, come with me—" and then they were gone and Ginny was watching as Tommy's dad beckoning Alife to come and sit with them and people began to turn to food and water the house elves returning to the kitchen to serve up food.

"Ginny" it was her mother and Ginny sank into the embrace as her mother hugged her back.

"I have to go to James" she said sluggishly.

"I know darling I know but not right now. Right now you need to sit for a second and then I think there is boy somewhere in this castle that needs to know what has happened in his absence." She stroked Ginny's hair once and Ginny sitting down leaned her head on her mother's shoulder and breathed in her comforting, familiar scent.

"Ron knows" she said finally. "I told him. Ron might tell him"

"Ah Ron's smart enough to know I will end him if he tells Harry anything" her mother said with a satisfied tone in her voice. "Hermione too, besides Harry has too much explaining to do to them right now"

"Mum…" there was too much to say in one moment.

"I know baby, I know. Why don't you go and get some sleep and then when you wake you can find Harry. Your father and I are going to stay down here and deal with parents…" her voice broke for a moment. "Your brothers, all of them are finding beds and we can regroup at some point"

Ginny nodded moving sluggishly. She helped herself to a plate of chicken and rice, ravioli and bread, pizza slices and all the good stuff muggle food as well as wizarding ones as well as a flagon of pumpkin juice.

"Weasley"

She turned to see Astoria. Her hair was wild, she had a black eye and a bruised cheek and her eyes were as wild as her hair. Ginny looked past her and saw Cyrus Greengrass and his wife hugging Daphne.

"Greengrass"

Ginny dropped her plate then and the two of them were hugging each other. Astoria kissed her on the cheek before slipping something into her pocket with a wink. "See you in the morning Ginny"

"You too Astoria"

And then she was gone before Ginny could apricate the half bottle of firewhiskey she had placed in her pocket.

She ate out of necessity before she dragged herself upstairs.

Her dorm room remained the same. Four empty beds and hers slightly rumpled. She ran the bath and slipped in it aching, bleeding, her breasts sore and tender, her privates the same and her eyes heavy with sleep and grief.

She crawled into bed smelling of something other than blood and shit and death and her head hit the pillow and she forgot about Voldemort for a second, about Harry, about Fred and James and everything and anything that had happened tonight and gave herself over to the complete and utter bliss that came with sleep as the new day and the new dawn and the first morning without Voldemort began with the rising sun over what was left standing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

* * *

**And there it is I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Augusta was an utter joy to write so I hope you enjoyed this and while I have taken some liberties with the Death Eaters as it's not known what happened to all of them I wanted to give her some revenge over the people who had taken her son from her in the cruellest way possible. **

**Also Seamus/Dean is a pairing I have been playing around with for a while. I know both actors have said they don't have a problem with the pairing and neither do I. **

**As always i will do my best to give you the penultimate chapter sooner rather than later. **

**Next Chapter-As we hit the penultimate chapter of this story Ginny and Harry have their first conversation in over a year and Harry gets the shock of his life. It's the first day of peace for the Wizarding World and Baby James (alongside the incomparable Muriel) makes his reappearance. **

**Enjoy**


	26. Live, Live, Live

**Hi, so here is another chapter and the second to last one, I hope you all enjoy this chapter because it took me to the floor and back with my emotions and includes moments that I have been waiting for and you as well. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing in this story is mine other than the little first years I have written. **

**Also In the next chapter there will be some tweaking of the timeline JK Rowling created most specifically the age gap between the three Potter children and the ages of James compared to Albus and Lily. **

**Please Read and Review and let me know what you think. Your support of this story so far has meant the world to me so a very big thank you. **

**And as always I wish everyone reading this all the health and the happiness in the world. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 26-Live, Live, Live.

As we hit the penultimate chapter of this story, Ginny and Harry have their first conversation since their night together nearly a year ago and Harry gets the shock of his life. It's the first day of peace for the Wizarding War and Baby James (alongside the incomparable Muriel) makes his reappearance.

* * *

Ginny woke to birdsong.

It was so indescribably normal around the walls of Hogwarts that she didn't even realise that anything was different. For a moment she was so deliciously sleepy that she didn't remember the night before, the days before that, this whole nightmare year of loss and learning where she had and so many others had been forced to leave their childhoods behind and forge hard paths to adulthood.

For a moment she stretched outwards and curled beneath her covers and she wondered weather or not her brothers would mock her for sleeping in late.

And then it hit her.

The war.

Voldemort and Harry. Her mother and Bellatrix. Colin and the first years.

Lupin and Tonks.

_Fred. _

_James. _

She forced herself upwards.

Her clothes had been cleaned and washed and smelt like the Hogwarts laundry and Ginny could have laughed at the fact that despite taking down ten Death Eaters between them the Hogwarts House Elves had gone back to work with their usual cheerful disposition. Ginny dressed in silence, ran a hand through her hair and then raided the draw to find a hair tie to get in into a knot a the back of her head.

She staggered downstairs to see the Common Room populated in drips and drabs with the students who had stayed behind. Seamus and Dean were sat on a chair both intertwined with each other watching the fire. Dennis Creevy his face still streaked with tears was sat watching the flames as well. Parvati was still curled up on the nearest sofa fast asleep and Ginny saw in the corner John curled up his head on a woman's lap, her stroking his hair and she knew that he had gotten in touch with his mother and she had walked into intense danger to get to him. She did not know where Tommy, Grace or Alife where but she liked to think they had all found a bed for the night and that they were all safe and sound with a parent watching over them.

She staggered out the portrait hole. She had no idea where Harry was and she knew that she had to find him because if there was a time where she had to tell him it was now. He had to know about James and he had to know now because Ginny had been through hell and back and she was not going to wait any longer.

Harry had to know about James and right now in the mood that she was still in, she was going to drag him to Muriel's herself. If not then…

Well…she had survived to hold her son. That was not nothing. Harry Potter or no Harry Potter.

She entered the Great Hall to see a sight familiar and yet strange all at once.

The House Tables were back and food was spread out amongst them just as there had been this morning. Food had become more like breakfast, tea, toast, eggs. And yet there were differences. The dead had been moved and so had the wounded but the window that had backed the Teachers table had gone and a May breeze was blowing in through the open glass as well as sunlight streaming in. Nobody seemed to be sitting at the House Tables but everyone seemed to be talking loudly and laughing amongst themselves. On occasion a parent or a teacher would come in to the Great Hall and Ginny watched as the hall seemed to dim a little as the parent looked around for their child and then seemed to brighten when they caught sight of them.

There was a great deal of contrast between the Hogwarts black and other clothes. Students sometimes on the weekends or holidays lounged around in muggle clothing and many students who had fought in their uniform had clearly gone searching for clothes that didn't stink of death, decay or the nightmare that had been the night before.

Ginny pulled herself a pot of tea towards her and she drank her first cup revelling in the scalding feeling. She was looking for him.

Harry.

He was going to find out today. She was going to tell him today. And then she was going to see her son.

"You alright?" came a voice to her left and she turned to see Tommy, cut on his head freshly knitted together. His hand was burnt and it was bandaged but Ginny could see the orange paste that was used to eradicate burns under the bandages. He looked like he had gotten a bath, a change of clothes and some sleep. He was decked in jeans and a t-shirt with some cartoon character on it of a black and white cat and a yellow bird and red and white shoes. He looked more like an eleven year old boy in his muggle clothes than he had done last night when he had took on Death Eaters and let the House Elves out and had fought side by side with her and other men twice his age.

"You?"

"Yeah, Dad gave me a right talking to last night" he said looking remarkably cheerful. "Told me that although he was right proud of me, if I ever did anything like that again Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would be the least of my problems. He's grounded me for the first two weeks of summer but other than that I think he's rather proud"

"You got off lightly then?"

"Oh yeah, but then I found out he was a spy, so we've both been putting ourselves in danger this year. So I think were even"

Ginny snorted into her tea. Even battered, bruised and bleeding Tommy was still Tommy.

"I've seen John what about Alfie and Grace?"

"Grace went to bed and hasn't got up yet. Her Dad had to go back to the house but he's coming back. Told mine he needed a good strong drink and a change of clothes and he's bringing back one. Alfie's gone home to grab his stuff. Dad says he can come and stay with us over the summer seeing as his parents don't give a shit if he's alive or dead. Actually all they seem to care about is that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is dead"

"So it all worked out in the end" Ginny said finally putting down her mug.

"I suppose so. And…thanks…for all you did this year. Dad couldn't believe it when he saw my patronus. And…well…I think we'd all be dead if it wasn't for you"

And then he hugged her. Ginny hugged him back and felt nothing but love for him, nothing but respect for him and yet nothing but desire that this boy who had lived, and lost and loved and learnt more than she had learnt at the age of eleven could one day be like her James. She wanted that for him.

No. She needed that for him. Otherwise what had the deaths of the last day been for?

She wished she could see Remus again and tell him another James who also bore the name Sirius still existed and tell him that he would grow up knowing about the two men he had been named after knowing what they had died for, who they had died for and because of that her baby now had a father.

She wished she could speak to Fred…she wanted that so badly it hurt.

Tommy pulled back and then he was gone with one bright smile full of promise etched on his face and Ginny watching him disappear into the weak sunlight his hands stuffed with toast for his friends.

* * *

She ate her head down and not inviting of company, she wanted to go and find Harry and she stood up after forcing eggs and toast and tea down her. He wasn't in the Great Hall and Ginny knew Harry well enough to know that he was not going to come down and play the figurehead after everything she had been through. And she wanted an explanation for it. She had been to hell and back over the course of the last day and she wanted to know why. She had to know why. As Dumbledore had said knowing was the first step to understanding and once she could understand what had happened, what had taken place between Harry and Voldemort over the course of their long and bloody history together, then and only then, could she begin to even comprehend the long process of healing.

She stood up and walked towards the grounds. It was still silent but she knew where she was going. She edged around the rubble that littered the courtyard and the gates that were blown open and down the path to the grounds. The Quidditch pitch had been destroyed. Two towers had fallen down and one hoop was hanging on by sheer will, the ground was singed, the grass still smoking slightly. The grounds themselves were better than the Courtyard. There were still scorch marks, trees smoking and the air tainted the smell of burnt wood, grass and something else that Ginny had suspicions about but didn't want to dwell upon.

She walked on away from the lake and the forest and the tomb encasing her Headmaster that was smooth and untouched by soot or dust or anything else that could have passed for damage. She wondered if that had been deliberate. If the one thing Voldemort was scared off was death, of remorse, of feeling something then perhaps the idea of Dumbledore had frightened him even in death.

She looked over at the tomb as the wind blew around her face bringing in the smell of the battle overtaking the smell of fresh grass.

She carried on.

Harry was where she had suspected him, sat beneath the beech tree half in the shade and half in the summer sunlight. They had always gone here when they had been together, those golden days. It was half secluded by bushes and was one of the many spots where many teenagers over the course of the history of the school had gone to spend time alone. Ginny wondered for the briefest of seconds if five years from now Tommy would be here with Grace and there would be another couple intertwined together. Perhaps James would come here, another messy haired Potter with a redhead. Teddy Lupin and some girl he would meet at this school, a world full of endless possibilities for all of them.

Harry was staring at his wand running his fingers over it. He looked up as Ginny stood in the sun casting them both into shadow. She stared at him greedily taking in the differences. He was skinner in the sun, cuts littered his skin, his hair was cut but it was roughly done. He still managed a small smile at her and Ginny sat down next to him her privates aching at the force. If things had been different she doubted she would have left her bed right now.

"I have to tell you something" she said finally. "And it will change everything, but I need to know what you've not told me. How you did what you did last night, everything…and you owe me that much Harry"

Harry said nothing his legs outstretched and his hands in his lap and then he spoke.

"Do you remember going to the Ministry that night, the night Sirius—anyway there was a Prophecy"

"I remember. The Prophet reported that it said you were 'The Chosen One'. The one that would bring down Voldemort"

Harry snorted. "You're saying the name now?"

"Yes." Ginny said smiling a little at the look on his face. "Things have changed. So…"

"So I am" Harry said simply. "Or I was I suppose. Trelawney made the prophecy. It told a tale of two boys born at the end of July, whose parents had stood up to Voldemort three times and Voldemort would mark him as his equal and he would have power that he didn't have. And neither could live while the other survived. Snape overheard half of it, bungled the information when he told his Master and set him on a path to my mother and father. It didn't have to be me though. It could have been Neville"

Ginny took a moment to grasp the severity of a world where Neville had been the one that Voldemort had gone after.

"And the marking as your equal?"

"Scar" Harry said shortly.

Ginny closed her eyes at that.

"So he came after you" she said finally. "And your mother stood in front of you and she saved you. Then what happened?"

"When he was at school he told Slughorn that he wanted to find a path to immortality. Of course dear old Tom never used those exact words but he found out how to create a Horcrux. In essence it involves splitting ones soul into pieces and hiding them within objects. Until all the objects and the bits of his soul were killed Tom Riddle would never die. He made seven of them"

Ginny gazed at him with an expression she was not sure off on her face. She had never heard of such a thing but even imagining splitting one's soul…she felt like she was going to be sick just thinking about it.

"So you went in search of them."

"The night Dumbledore died. And then ever since, he hid them in things belonging to the Founders of Hogwarts, the snake…the diary…and me"

"You?"

"The night my mother…well…a bit of his soul fragmented and latched on the only living thing that was there…me…it's why I've been able to see into his mind, why I can talk to snakes. Why we've always been connected. A part of me lived within him."

"And he never knew of this?"

"No, could you imagine if he had?" Harry shuddered. "Dumbledore told Snape and then when Snape died I took his memories. It's how I knew I had to die. I had to go and see him and when I died or…whatever you want to call it, the part of my soul that was his died too. And…and because he took my blood when he came back…"

"Neither can live while the other survives. Neither one of you could die while you were connected"

Harry nodded at her. Ginny leaned back against the tree and tried to absorb all this new information that seemed impossible but yet explained so much.

"So…then you could kill him? Because it was just the two of you at the end?"

"I know what he's going to become. He's…he's pushed the boundaries so much, so far and the magic he's used is so dark and twisty that…the man he was…the child…there's nothing left."

Ginny nodded but said nothing.

"And you couldn't say any of this?"

"Dumbledore swore us to secrecy, Ron and Hermione and me. The more people that knew…well you were there when we fought them at the Ministry. He uses people. He went after you because you were my best friends sister. I wasn't going to give him another excuse to go after my family, your family, Lupin, the Order, my friends…the woman I love"

Ginny inhaled sharply closing her eyes. Harry gave a mournful little chuckle as Ginny opened her eyes again feeling them get a bit wet.

"I thought about you…a lot actually. Sometimes I used to wonder what would happen if I came back to Hogwarts, but…but I never expected it would take only a year. I was prepared for the long haul with this, ten years even before I found all the pieces of him scattered across the world. So…so when I ended things, I ended them knowing that you deserved better than that. And so I'm glad you found it. I'm glad that you managed to get a happy ending even if it's not with me"

"Have you been speaking to Ron at all?"

"Ron—well not after I told him what had happened last night, he was kinda funny with me whenever you were mentioned but well…he's Ron"

Ginny snorted wiping her eyes.

"Harry…James is not a boyfriend. James is…Ja…"

It was ironic really, she had been envisioning this moment for nearly a year and now she was in a position to tell Harry about his son she found she couldn't put together the words.

"Harry do you remember the night before the wedding? Your birthday when…well…when we…had sex?"

"Yeah?" Harry said flushing a little. "What of it?"

"James isn't my boyfriend Harry. He's your son"

There was a very long pause. Ginny stared at him seeing the changes that flashed before his eyes as the knowledge took hold. He went from surprise to shock his eyes doing the tell-tale sweep of her stomach to confirm that she was not hiding a baby under her shirt and then back to her face as he did a rather decent impression of a codfish.

"My err…huh?"

"You son" Ginny elaborated. "I thought I did everything right but when I came to Hogwarts I realised I was pregnant, and I thought through my options and carried your baby to term, we went into hiding at Easter and a week later James was born."

Harry stared at her with wide eyes. "James?" he said very quietly. Ginny nodded.

"James Sirius, after your Dad and Godfather. He's…oh Harry he's perfect he looks like you apart from the eyes"

"Let me guess" Harry said dryly his mouth quirking a little. "He has his mother's eyes?"

Ginny giggled.

"A baby…Ginny…I never meant for that to happen I mean…I have no regrets but I never wanted to leave you alone like that"

"I know that" Ginny said gently. "I know you would never…and I wanted to tell you, I mean when I found out that you were living at Bill's…but I knew you and I knew you would never rest till this was done and I was right. And now our baby has a future to live for free and clear of Voldemort"

Harry stared at her his eyes wide looking more like a seventeen year old than the man that had just saved the world from destruction.

"A baby" he said again. "I…I never even thought that I could…" and Ginny realised what he was saying and she felt her heart shatter for him and for love of him. Because here he was saying he had never imagined a future because he had never expected to have one. So much of his life had been wasted fighting against someone and something he had never understood, being a figurehead for something that was always bigger than him and now they had time.

"It's ok" she said gently. "We've got time"

"No we don't" Harry said grimly jumping to his feet. After a moment he held out his hand and Ginny took it. "I reckon we got fifteen minutes before they panic, that means we can go out through the gates and apparate to Muriel's house, she can send a Patronus to the school and I can meet my son? You up for it?"

Ginny grinned, the urge to meet James, to hold him again and to see him with his father was so strong she felt like she would start sobbing hysterically with the thought of it here and now.

She wanted that, she wanted that so badly she could almost taste it.

"Come on then"

And they left the grounds neither one of them commenting on what this meant for them as a couple. Ginny supposed it didn't matter. She had known all along.

* * *

Muriel had clearly not gone to sleep because as soon as Ginny had let herself into the house she had let out a shout of "Out of my house damned evil!" and had brandished her wand before she had realised it was Ginny.

"Gin—oh you" she said shortly seeing Harry. "I take it we've won then?"

"Yes he's gone" Ginny said shortly. "And the Lestranges, Snape, Avery, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, Dolohov…all his main line"

"Good" the woman said shortly. "Give me the casualties on our end?"

Appreciating in a way she never had before, her Great-Aunt's ability to beat around the bush Ginny continued finding in it somewhere for her to speak.

"Lupin, Tonks, kids…a…a lot of kids…about fifty over all and…and Fred" she said finally.

Muriel made a noise and then regained her control instantly. She swallowed and reached backwards collapsing into a chair. For the first time she looked as old as she claimed she was.

"May their souls now be at peace" she said quietly. She shot Ginny an appraisingly long look. "Did you tell them you were coming here?"

"No. Ron's back safe and sound so…and I think they know…"

"Either way I should send them a message and then…Andromeda Tonks as well…Merlin what that woman's been through this past year. Augusta Longbottom as well?"

"Oh she got one of the Lestrange brothers so she's with Neville"

"Good" the woman said nodding her approval. "About time those people got what was coming to them—his bitch?"

"Mum"

Auntie Muriel stared at her and then gave a great cackle. "Molly" she said fondly. "Well…I should go and get dressed. Your boy's upstairs…slept like a log woke up for a feeding and slept again. It gave me something to do…Lord knows I couldn't sleep last night anyway…I should…well…"

She moved towards the door and Ginny knew she wanted to hide her face but she seemed to summon something in her to glare at Harry who had been watching this exchange silently at the doorway.

"If there is any funny business in my house Potter, He-Who-Must-Not will be the least of your worries."

And with that she was off.

"Please" Harry said in an undertone. "I could barely stand right now never mind— "he caught Ginny's look, blushed and then looked away. Ginny bit her lip. "Give me a sec to settle him and I'll bring him down" she said softly. Harry nodded and then she was up the stairs almost two at a time.

Her room was the same as she had left it, rumpled sheets and all. James was awake and she could see him gurgling. Muriel must have taken him upstairs when the charms had been broken around her house by their arrival. He was awake and dressed in a little blue onesie that covered his toes and had white strips. He made a little noise when he saw her and Ginny took a second just to stare at him wiping her eyes again as the tears came.

"Hey my little man" she said picking him up and holding him so that he could spit up if he wanted on her shoulder. She could feel him closer this way and it was easier to rock him back and forth and smell his baby smell.

"So guess what? Mummy and Daddy won the war against the bad wizard. Though…though Uncle Fred had to go away…as well as a nice man who I really wanted you to meet…but Daddy survived, and he's here to meet you so—" she said pulling James forwards so that they were staring at each other—as much as James could stare he seemed more interested in her hair.

"So I need you to be on your best behaviour ok, so please give him a few minutes before you need your nappy changed and please don't cry, because he's here now and he's never gonna go away again"

James gurgled again. Ginny held him back in both arms so that he was looking up at her and then made it slowly down the stairs.

Harry was waiting there but his eyes were fixed on the baby she carried. He was staring at him with that hunger and desire and amazement that Ginny herself understood because she too would never get enough of James even if it was just to look at him. He had shed his jacket and she could tell that his clothes like hers had been cleaned the night before. Also she could see the weight that he had lost over the course of this year.

"Here you go" she said softly holding out James. Harry took him smoothly and Ginny positioned her son so that he was more comfortable praying James did not choose this moment to throw a tantrum.

Clearly however the Potter boys continually surprised her.

James stared up at his father his brown eyes lazily looking at him. He batted one small hand upwards and it wrapped around Harry's finger and Harry made a small noise that had Ginny looking away to get control over her emotions.

"Ginny" Harry said finally. He looked up and she knew the emotions that were on his face were reflected back in hers. "Oh Ginny he's…he's…"

"I know" she said finally wiping her eyes again. "I know he's perfect. Of course didn't feel like that when he was coming out of me but…and it wont feel like that at three, five and seven when he's screaming for a chance to use my breast as a chew toy. And trust me it wont feel like that when you see how much mess he creates. But then he does something, something even as small as raise his feet in the air and then you find you don't care and all the danger was worth it for this"

Harry cooed a little at James and Ginny doubted that he had heard anything she had said. She grinned feeling lighter than she had done in a whole year—three whole years to be exact. The last time she had felt this free of worry and pain and grief she had been thirteen and Cedric Diggory, Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour and Harry Potter had just entered the Triwizard Maze.

James let out a little cry. Harry shot Ginny a rather panicked look and Ginny smiled. "It's ok" she said reaching out so that she could lean her head against his shoulder and take one of James's fingers in his own.

"He has perfect little fingernails" Harry said finally. "I never thought of babies having little fingernails like this"

"You…I mean I did the right thing then? The name and all? I mean he's not registered or anything but it was always going to be Potter"

"You kidding? Name's perfect. Merlin Sirius would be hysterical. Probably be planning all the pranks that he would be teaching James."

Ginny smiled. "He'd be proud of you tonight" she said softly. "Both of them…all of them…"

"Remus made me godfather of his son" Harry said finally.

"And you responded by breaking into Gringotts on the back of a dragon. Teddy Lupin's got good people around him. He's got a grandmother that loves him and a godfather that will always be there for him."

Harry smiled. "Hey maybe we get a couple more and form our own Marauders"

"Like hell. Right now this one is enough to contend with. Besides if my mother gets wind of another grandchild she might combust. I don't want to even think about children until James is at Hogwarts"

"You say that now" Harry said beaming. James beamed back up at him.

"Actually" Ginny said something within her finally at peace. "I was thinking bed and then…when this one wakes us up we can take him to Hogwarts, Uncle Neville's been keeping him a secret since Christmas and Auntie Luna is gonna want to bless him with Rackspurts and he should meet Uncle Dean and Uncle Seamus and Uncle Ron, Uncle Percy and Aunt Hermione."

"He's gonna have a big family around him" Harry said softly still staring down at the baby. "I never had that. Not till I met Ron and then I met all of you. Ginny I—"

"I know" Ginny said because she did know the end of that sentence and she didn't need to hear it right now. "And I feel the same way, have done for years. And now we've got years to talk about it. But trust me Harry I might have only been a parent for a couple of weeks but I've learnt when you get the opportunity to sleep you sleep"

Harry laughed, James cooed again his eyelashes fluttering against his plump cheeks and then Harry was passing him back and heading upstairs Ginny following putting down James in his crib and tucking him in under his blanket. James would sleep and Ginny revelling in the fact that now she could use magic sent his Hogwarts houses mobile spinning around his crib so he could bat the animals before he tired himself out.

"Ginny…err…sleeping in jeans is uncomfortable…err…"

"Harry I have seen you naked, literally naked, take your damn pants of if you want to"

Harry shed himself of his jeans and slipped under the covers in his boxers and t-shirt. Ginny stripped too throwing her jeans and shirt to the corner of the room. There would be time later to clean up. She could feel Harry's eyes on her and she wondered if he could tell the difference, she was bleeding still and went into the bathroom to clean herself up and change her underwear reaching for the ratty old jumper she had been sleeping in. Her breasts were bigger, there was fat around her hips post baby and she was curvier than she had been when he had last seen her, stretch marks clear as day.

"Gin" Harry said from where he was watching her when she came out of the bathroom. "I can hear you thinking even without Occlumency…you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on"

"This better not be a come on for another baby" Ginny said grinning.

Harry laughed and Ginny smiled listening to it. It had been a long time even before they had been separated since she had heard Harry laugh like that. This was a new Harry Potter, a Harry Potter finally free of the darkness that had plagued him since the tender age of one and she finally got a chance to see it.

"Ginny" Harry said finally. "Can he sleep with us. I just…I want my family with me tonight" he shot her a pleading look and Ginny found she couldn't say no because there had been a time, many a time when she had wanted and craved and needed the same thing.

She lifted James up out of his crib (he gave a whimper of protest but was otherwise ok with it especially once the mobile came with them) and then gave him to Harry. She slipped beneath the covers as James rested on Harry's chest little body breathing up and down like a little weight. Ginny tapped him on his nose as his eyes fell shut again and his breathing evened out.

"I never thought I'd get this" Harry said as Ginny shifted so James was between the two of them and she could lean her head on his chest as well as his arm came around her.

"Always thought that I would be dead"

"And now you can have whatever you want" Ginny whispered as the exhaustion, the adrenaline and everything else between the last time that they had done since they had been like this together.

"Depends" Harry said finally.

"On what?"

"On whether or not I make it. Voldemort was one obstacle, facing your father and your brothers after I find out I knocked up their daughter/sister at sixteen is another thing entirely"

Ginny giggled but hushed herself before she woke James, Harry gave her a slow soft smile and then he kissed her. It was awkward due to the angle they were at but the kiss was soft and gentle and Ginny had no doubts that it would be the first of many.

"Besides" Harry said finally. "Everything I've ever wanted is right here"

Ginny smiled, James snuffed a little, and the newly formed young Potter family fell to much needed, much wanted, and blissfully peaceful sleep.

* * *

**And there it is, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I look forward to getting the final chapter too you in due course. **

**Next Chapter-The Final Chapter-As time moves on and September 1st moves closer, Harry and Ginny put the past behind them and move towards a peace filled future surrounded by family and friends. **


	27. James

**Hi everyone here is the FINAL CHAPTER of this story!**

**This story was a labour of love and would not have been completed without each and everyone of you who have read and reviewed, favourited and followed this story. You all made it a joy to write and update this story and i want to thank all of you. **

**For those interested after a short break planning this next story for this fandom i will be back. The fanfic is probably going to be a Bill/Fleur fanfic and will also involved a Weasley being born a bit earlier than cannon. If you are interested stay tuned as i intend to have the first chapter of this story up...you guessed it...sooner rather than later. **

**Disclaimer-Nothing in this chapter or indeed this story is mine with the exception of the little first year ducklings whose story i may come back to one day.**

**Everything in this chapter is AU based on the details fed by the nineteen years later epilogue. Some of the details are my own headcannons. The timing is off but I hope you like it either way. **

**Please let me know what you think. **

* * *

Beat Your Heart Out

Chapter 27-James

The Final Chapter of this story!-As time moves on and September 1st moves closer, Harry and Ginny put the past behind them and move towards a peace filled future surrounded by family and friends.

* * *

The first few months—actually looking back if she was being totally and completely honest with herself it was the first few years—were a total blur. There had been the slow process of not only rebuilding their lives but rebuilding the world.

That first month, Ginny, Harry and James had lived between the Burrow and Hogwarts. The house was too crowded and the school the same and yet they had nowhere else to go. Harry refused to live at Number 12 claiming that event though Sirius had moved on beyond the veil if he got wind that Harry was planning to live his life in the house that had been nothing but darkness for him, he'd find a way to come back and haunt the shit out of him. Ginny had laughed and laughed until her sides ached revelling in the fact that she could do that now.

The fact that Ginny Weasley had been pregnant with Harry Potter's baby and nobody had known about it had spread through the school like wildfire. It was both comforting and annoying, comforting because it was clear that despite the hole in the wall, the turrets falling down and the stench of burnt wood, the students of Hogwarts still gossiped with the all the finesse of a finely tuned high school. Annoying because she was once again the subject of attention and when she was staying at Hogwarts (a move she suspected because her mother did not want to see Fred's bedroom yet and George could not go home to the flat over the shop) with the baby James was the centre of attention too.

Some of it was good. Grace who was back for two weeks to get her stuff and too help clean the castle (McGonagall's punishment for any underage student who stayed behind accompanied alongside half an hour with the first years where Ginny imagined she gave them such a blasting that when they all came back to the Common Room ashen faced they were unable to speak for an hour) cooed over the baby like was her own and could easily relieve Ginny for two hours of precious sleep by entertaining James who it seemed did not discriminate when it came to hair colour and loved tugging on the blonde locks as well as the red ones of his mother. Parvati was delighted, Lavender still in the hospital wing recovering was thrilled for Ginny too and Parvati had took James to see Lavender with Ginny's approval and told Ginny afterwards Lavender had smiled for the first time since she had seen herself in the mirror.

Dean and Seamus were thrilled too. Seamus upon hearing the story had leapt onto the table shouting "I bloody knew it!". Dean, the unpleasantness of the last summer gone had hugged her and then Harry. McGonagall had told her that what she had done was incredibly reckless and that her office had always been open if Ginny had needed it and then had got a look in her eye when Ginny had said the baby was called James Sirius that made Ginny think she was battling tears.

But McGonagall was McGonagall and before Ginny could ask she had returned to her normal self and offered her a biscuit which Ginny had taken feeling rather stunned as she had always assumed that, _that _particular rumour had been myth.

Ron, Percy and Hermione had all been thrilled. Whenever James wasn't being passed around the woman of Hogwarts (apparently her son had a thing for charming all the girls Hufflepuffs, Gryffindor's and Ravenclaws alike) he was too be found on Hermione's lap who had (much to Ron's alarm, Harry's exasperation and Seamus, Dean and Neville's amusement) taken out her old battered copy of Hogwarts A History one night and had taken to reading it to James to get him to sleep. Ginny thought it hilarious that Hogwarts A History got her son to sleep within seconds and Harry said it was predication of the future which had set them all giggling. Ron had held James at a rather fussy moment had promptly shoved him back to Harry with an alarmed expression and had then muttered about best friends and sisters and betrayal for ten minutes until Hermione had kicked him. Percy who had gone back to work to rebuild a shattered government had told Ginny that James was a lovely baby and when Ginny had offered Percy a cuddle he had gone rather shy and had held James with the look of a man who had no idea what he was doing.

Astoria Greengrass had too taken a different approach to the news of Ginny's motherhood and her own impending one should they have lost the war. Harry had taken James to see Hagrid who had returned and delighted in the return of his favourite pupil and Ginny had gone to find Greengrass who lying on the grass staring upwards at the clear blue sky with a bottle of fire whisky next to her.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the thought Ginny" she said after she had inhaled half the booze and then laughed for ten minutes. "But I didn't exactly endear myself to the Death Eaters, plus it would have been a dead give away that the baby wasn't mine. Besides, I wouldn't have the first clue what to do with it"

"He"

"Yeah that…" she waved a hand. "It was nice of you to think of me thought" she said finally. "It's…well…I suppose that this makes us friends in a way doesn't it?"

"I suppose so"

Astoria smiled. "That's nice" she said finally.

They stayed sitting on the grass watching the wind blow ripples into the lake until Harry came to join them. He nodded at Astoria who smiled waved one ringed hand at James who became immediately fixated by her pearl ring and tried to touch it.

* * *

Time moved on however as it always did, it was not easy. They did go back to the Burrow eventually and it was not easy. There were tears from her mother, days where she couldn't get out of bed and a particularly nasty row where she had accused Fleur of taking Fred's place within the family, screamed at James calling him and his arrival into the world several harsh terms which seemed out of character for the doting grandmother she was. Harry had taken James and Teddy to the local muggle shop for some ice cream (being one he had fed them off spoons and got much appreciation from the boys and many coos from the girl behind the counter) while Bill had stormed from the house and Ginny had followed too angry to speak and too angry to forgive despite Harry pointing out that it was grief talking and that even the idea of losing James was so terrible it made his stomach cramp—never mind actually living it day by day.

Their father had coped with a strength that she would have never have thought possible. Throughout her childhood it had always been her mother who had been the one that seemed to pull together and get them through the dark days as a family. Now the roles seemed reversed and it was their father who had gotten their mother of the floor that day she had hit rock bottom. Whatever conversation had passed between the two of them Ginny didn't know about and it had taken a month on her part before she had been ready to accept her mother's heartfelt apology, cry with her and leave her in a much better form so she and Harry could finally get around to house hunting though that turned into a date in a pup and several kisses. Ginny had never been to a muggle pub before and had taken great delight in watching Harry use a muggle debit card which her father had gone into (much amusing and touching) transport of delight about when he had seen it go into the ATM machine and then back out again.

Bill on the other hand had taken longer to get his head around everything and it had only been with Fleur's insistence not to mention the arrival of Victoire Isabelle Weasley that had things had begun to mend. James only close to a year old had not responded well to Grandma's now divided attention though Teddy even at his young age had a nice way of turning his hair a light blue ('a compromise' Harry said grinning between his own favourite shade of turquoise and Victoire's own tuff of silvery blonde) and didn't seem to mind this new addition nor the addition another year later of Molly Lydia Weasley who had been born to Percy and a healer he had been seeing called Audrey who Ginny liked. She had long dark hair and skin the colour of coffee and was not afraid to speak her mind something that was invaluable at the Weasley dinner table. What had shocked them all was Percy's complete change of heart which was getting back to work only to get to be Kingsley's personal assistant with plans to pass the Wizarding Law Bar. Though her mother had grumbled about "three grandchildren and only one wedding" she was coming back into her own and she got her wish eventually when as James turned two Ron finally got down on one knee and asked Hermione to make him an honest man.

They had found an flat eventually too. Harry had talked constantly since he had been fourteen about being an Auror and he went when he was nineteen with Ron. He graduated with flying colours (who would turn him down after all) and then he went into a desk job while Ginny finished her education and then went into journalism. She had been recruited for several teams but somehow she didn't want to do that anymore.

She knew why, that baby she couldn't stand to be away from for even a year never mind more than that on the professional circuit. Her baby, baby James.

They had found a small flat the three of them in London. Harry made it no secret that he wanted a house but he didn't know where. He was loath to go back to Godric's Hollow and he didn't want to go to Number 12.

"What about a magical village only?" Ginny had said one night when they had been in bed together. They hadn't been physical until a year after James had been born and Ginny had been strangely shy. It was one thing for Harry to see her in an old jumper and tell her he didn't mind the stretch marks, the fact that she had gone up a two bra sizes a size in the jeans and two sizes top wise. But seeing it in the flesh so to speak was another thing.

But Harry had been gentle and loving and brilliant about it in every way. He had been gentle and he had been passionate and they had time to do things they had never thought they would get the chance to do in that little bedroom overlooking the Burrow's back garden. It had been perfect. Even the little things like James screaming the flat down and dinner being burnt and Harry introducing her to the muggle take out service where James would play with the Chinese boxes and Ginny would use a fork because she couldn't use chopsticks to save her life.

"No" Harry said finally. "I don't want that. A mixture perhaps but…everyone knows who were are in that world, at work, when James goes to school. Everyone. In the muggle world we are just two young people with a baby."

Ginny sighed, the world that Harry described was not one she was familiar with and she couldn't deny that she wanted a connection to the world that she had grown up in where neighbours took communal portkeys and the newspaper was delivered by owl and it was not uncommon to see spells flying out of windows when someone was having a row.

"What about somewhere were there's both?"

"You got a place?"

And that was how they ended up in a small corner of the Lakes where there was a community of wizards in the next town, muggles in another and Harry could take James out into the fields in a little raincoat and wellies and Ginny could watch as her son splashed about in the puddles, got covered in mud and lived a life full of peace.

She thought it perhaps a loving and long lasting tribute to Remus that they rented Number 12 to a werewolf pack at a knockdown price who had no issue telling Waldulfa Black to shut her face.

Actually as she told Harry the night he had given a man by the moniker Colt Rawlings the keys—she thought it was nothing short of pure genius.

* * *

When James was five they celebrated Christmas together and it was then after putting a rather hyper five year old to bed that Ginny opened her present from Harry on Christmas Eve and saw the ring in the little box. It was a gold band with a diamond the size of a square and two smaller diamonds on each side. Next to them were two smaller rubies next to them.

"I'd get on one knee" Harry said from where he was sat in front of the Christmas Tree next to her glass of fire whiskey in hand. "But I know you and I know that you'd probably hate it so I figured I'd ask right here, right now…Ginny, will you marry me?"

Ginny's response had been rather…_enthusiastic._

_Her mother had been thrilled. _

* * *

They got married on a clear December day when the snow had only just begun to stick to the ground. Ginny had work a dress of white with a boat neck collar and long sleeves that had flared into lace. Harry had worn dress robes of dark blue. Her father had walked her down the isle and before she had gone he had turned to her and said "I am proud" which was all Ginny needed to hear. She had seen Ron and Hermione married, George (off the booze, sober and with smiling again in a way she had never really believed that she would see again) his arm around Angelina and her hand resting on her stomach that Ginny knew from experience was carrying a baby three or four months old. Bill with Fleur her belly big again, Percy with Audrey, Andromeda chatting with Kingsley as Teddy and James, Victoire and Molly chased their way around the tent laughing madly. Hagrid sobbing into his hands, McGonagall her eyes rather wet, Charlie beaming with some man standing next to him, Luna embracing the idea of being an Aunt with a tall boy next to her with wide eyes and a gnome in his back pocket, Muriel snapping at everyone but winking at her when Ginny caught her eye. Dean and Seamus holding hands rings on their own fingers, Oliver and Katie, Lee and Alicia, Astoria Greengrass her own engagement ring winking on her finger looking resplendent in a green dress that made several people look sideways at her. Lavender her face scarred but still standing chatting with Terry Boot, Parvati chatting with Tommy's Dad who seemed to be blushing under the lights. Neville and Hannah holding hands under Augusta's watchful gaze, Susan her belly round with Ernie's child, Cho Chang and a man with her who looked somewhat amazed at what he was seeing, Slughorn with his flask, Flitwick and Sprout in the corner gossiping, even Trelawney…Ginny's first years, first years no longer but children turned to fifteen. Grace on Tommy's arm her blonde hair in a knot on her head and her pink dress shimmering, Alfie, John, the former with a girl that Ginny was introduced to as Sabrina Bryant a fourth year Slytherin and the later with a boy who was introduced as Justin Finch-Fletchly's younger brother Carter who he was holding hands with. Ginny hugged them all, smiled all day and thought only once of the dead who had given their lives both in the first war and in the second so that she could have this perfect day. Fred, Remus, Tonks, Mad-Eye, Colin, Emma, Sirius, Cedric, Lily, James…all of those men and woman who had given their lives so that a generation could live free.

And then at the back of the crowd a woman in a pink salmon dress who looked as if she did not know what she was doing here, her hair brown and mousy. Harry said something to her and then beckoned Ginny over. Ginny wrapped a hand around his waist and it was then that she was finally introduced to Petunia Dursley, Harry's Aunt, Lily's sister and a woman that looked both alone and deeply uncomfortable. There were several things that Ginny could have said to this woman but she was suddenly aware that she didn't want to. Petunia might have been a bitch, and a terrible Aunt but she had made the effort.

"Hello Mrs Dursley" she said in an effort to be polite. "My name is Ginny We—Potter" Harry beamed at her and Petunia Dursley watching her nephew seemed to flick her lips upwards in what could have been a smile though it was gone before Ginny had investigated it properly. There was a thud to her left and she knew who it was. She picked up James and hooked him onto her hip. They had dressed him in a pair of black pants and a white shirt though if he got to the chocolate cake (and Ginny liked to think of Teddy enough to know that boy had gotten his hands on the chocolate cupcakes with the dark chocolate frosting) it wouldn't stay white for long. James was a big boy now, a steady flesh and blood five year old something other than the baby that she had cooed over and gone to hell and back to keep safe.

"This is James" she said quietly. "Our son"

Petunia Dursley's eyes widened a fraction as she took in the resemblance between Harry and James and for a second Ginny thought she saw something in her eyes that could have been amusement but then the look was gone and she was fastening the clasp on her handbag and muttering about going. Harry offered to have someone take her home but the woman insisted she had taken the train and would carry on in similar fashion.

"I don't know why I invited her" Harry said finally watching her go. "I just…well…she is my mother's sister even if they couldn't stand each other at the end. And…and I think deep down she got what Voldemort was and what he was doing."

"It was nice" Ginny said finally. "And we can start the rest of our lives clean and clear now. No more grudges"

Harry nodded but his eyes stayed on the little gate Petunia Dursley had walked out of for a little while afterwards.

* * *

Eighteen months later Albus Severus was born. Ginny had no issue with Albus but the birth had been longer and more difficult than James and she was convinced she had agreed to her son's middle name only under the influence of heavy drugs.

Harry just grinned whenever she said that.

* * *

When Albus was two a third (and Ginny told Harry very sternly there would not be a forth) baby joined their midst. She was a little girl. While James and Albus had inherited their father's looks with Albus having Lily Potter's eyes this little girl was the carbon copy of Ginny.

"Lily" she said knowing that while Harry would not ask it was what he wanted and besides, throughout her whole pregnancy with James, Lily Potter had been the one woman she had wanted to speak too, she had found during those months that she understood the woman who had become a footnote in Wizarding history in a way that she would never have thought to had she not been pregnant.

"And for a middle name?" Harry asked as Lily's brown eyes flickered shut as if she was tired already. Ginny shrugged. In truth it was hard to tell at this point. Ginny had been the first girl in her family for generations and yet here the Weasley's were with more girls than they knew what to do with. After Victoire, Bill and Fleur had, had another girl by the name of Dominique Gabrielle and after Molly, Percy had had another girl by the name of Lucy Eleanor, George had a son and a baby girl by the name of Roxanne Amelia and even Ron and Hermione had Rose Elizabeth and another boy named Hugo named after Hermione's favourite author (Ron had nearly kneeled over she had said that his first name was Victor). As far as names were going a lot of the ones Ginny might have considered had been taken.

And then Harry spoke.

"Luna"

"Luna?"

"Yeah, she's your friend, besides she's loyal. She has a way of growing on you as well. Plus I know you want her to visit more often, and this might be the way to do it" He winked at her over Lily Luna's head and Ginny smiled. Luna had gone off exploring and met the grandson of Newt Scamander, Rolf, they had had a whirlwind romance and then she had gotten pregnant last year with twin boys Lorcan and Lysander that Ginny had yet to meet. Considering that this Luna, Ginny wondered weather or not her friend would ever settle down but Ginny wanted to see her again. Besides Harry was right, Luna deserved recognition by them for a long dedicated battle of service to Harry, to Dumbledore and to the cause that had took so much from her.

* * *

And that was how they got to here.

* * *

As September the 1st neared Ginny who had been working on her article over the latest World Cup news (apparently there had been rumours that France had bribed their way into holding the World Cup next year with a combination of torture, blackmail and threatening to curse people into hedgehogs). Personally a week of soaking up the sun in France would do Harry and her a world of good and besides how many sources could you trust really?

"Ginny…you told me to remind you that you had to leave at four for James and Teddy's leaving dinner and your mother has already flooed me three times today to tell me to remind you and also she is changing the menu to beef ribs rather than beef cheeks as she thinks her red wine jus is too rich for the kids"

Ginny looked up and grinned.

"Cheers Grace"

Grace Brady grinned back. Nearly eleven years on and Grace still had her blonde hair now down to her shoulders and she still had that look on her face that had taken her into battle against men and women three times her size never mind her magical ability. She had graduated from Hogwarts and had come to work for Ginny. The girl was a good writer and more to the point fluent in languages as well due to her father's job in the Department of Magical Co-Operation. She also had a wonderful sense of knowing when a source was talking complete and utter bullshit as well something she said came from living with four men. While she and Tommy were together, they had moved into a house in Manchester with Carter and John who were now engaged and Alfie who had a son with Sabrina the girl Ginny had known called Isaac. Unfortunately Sabrina had died of after a diagnosis of cancer when Isaac had been six months old. Despite the Wizarding World's advancement's the reality was in terms of cancer they were still side by side with the Muggle world and Ginny who had never stopped keeping in touch with her first year ducklings as they had called themselves had spent days with Alfie ensuring that he was taking care of himself and the baby who was adorable with a tuft of blonde hair and big blue eyes. She had felt a sense of trust when he had given his son to her so he could sleep. These kids had been her babies in a way as well. Because she had trained them and taught them and loved them and protected them. And Harry bless him understood that. Even if he was a little amused when the first time Tommy and he had met, Tommy had sunk into a half bow.

"How's Tommy?" Ginny asked pulling herself out of memory lane. Grace rolled her eyes.

"Moaning about the auror courses your husband has him on and yet loving every second of it."

Ginny laughed. Grace took in the look on her face and did not let her down with the information she so desperately wanted.

"Alfie's ok too, Isaac started wizarding nursey last week so of course he's a nervous wreak and John and Carter are still happy. Your friend Hannah got Alfie a job at the Leaky last month so he's happy and John's working at Gringotts though how he has the brain to do all those numbers I don't know. Either way, were good. Were happy. Were alive."

There was a pause as Ginny took that in and she grinned. Grace grinned back and then she was out of work and back to her mother's house where her husband and her children and leaving the other children she had trained and raised and loved to their own lives that they got to live free of fear.

Her mother was in fine form. Teddy and James more so. Harry grinning as he helped himself to Treacle Tart. And Ginny…Ginny just sat back and enjoyed the peace. It was a thing she had come to enjoy and yet never depend upon.

Merlin she hoped that would change.

Some day. One day. Any day.

* * *

September 1st dawned bright and early. James was up by five. Harry speaking from their house in the Lake District told him sternly to go back to bed at least until eight. Ginny sleepily cuddling close to him grinned and privately agreed.

At eight fifteen the Potters were ready, by ten they had met Teddy beaming his hair a pinkish colour with scars down his cheek. Andromeda clutching her handbag and a handkerchief in one hand. Ginny made a mental note to ask her to dinner as soon as she could. And together they went through the barrier of Platform 9 and ¾ to where the scarlet train awaited.

James dithered somewhat. Lily still young enough to be on her Dad's hip was watching with wide eyes. Albus clutching Ginny's hand was also watching, this vibrant world that was their world was still unknown to their children, Harry and Ginny having chosen privacy when it came to their children and their upbringing. James pushed his trolly with his trunk the brown owl that he had been given by them last night named Nero and Ginny suspected the Marauders Map somewhere in his back pocket. Harry needed the cloak for work but Ginny suspected that the map had been passed on to another generation who would use to it to cause headaches amongst the staff.

Teddy was already waiting for them his hair now scarlet to match the engine. Ginny suspected it would change colour many more times before the night was out before sticking to his usual bright turquoise. Ginny watched as Harry put the two trunks onto the train and then it was a last round of hugs and then Ginny's little boy was onto the train and the train was speeding away from them and her boy was gone off to school and the adventure that was awaiting him called life.

Harry's hand slid around her back pulling her close. Albus had apparently gotten board of seeing the train that had taken his brother away from him and now wanted ice cream. Soon enough Lily wanted it too. Harry asked Andromeda if she wanted to join them but the other woman fussed with the clasp of her handbag and muttered something about Kingsley coming to dinner that night and then disappeared before Ginny could so much as raise her eyebrows or tell Andromeda good for her. Instead she stared down the tracks at the train that had taken her son away from her towards the life she had wanted for him desperately.

So much had been given for this small moment, Fred, Lupin, Tonks, Colin, Mad-Eye, Sirius, James and Lily, Neville's mum and dad, her uncles, Cedric Diggory, members of the Order from both wars. All the pain and the loss. Ginny remembered when she had been pregnant and she had stared out the window at the grounds and wondered weather or not she could do this, have Harry's baby, have a baby during the war and raise it. Give it this.

She had never thought that it would come and now it had and she had done the one thing she had promised her baby when he had still been flat in her belly that night in Hogwarts. She had given him a future free of Voldemort.

Harry perhaps seemed to understand what she was thinking or perhaps he was thinking the same thing because his gaze when it flickered upon her was very warm and his eyes were very bright. Ginny smiled back and felt that same tell tale patter of desire she had felt since she was sixteen, perhaps even younger than that when all she had wanted was the green eyed boy to notice her.

Well…she had gotten that and more some.

She hugged Albus closer to her as Harry swung Lily onto his hip with wild theatrics that had her giggling.

"Come on" he said grinning at her. "Let's go and grab some ice cream before we head home"

Ginny nodding grinning as her two youngest children cheered.

Harry took her hand and she linked their fingers together as they walked back through the platform, away from her son off to enjoy his life free of fear and loss, towards the muggle world, their own house, and towards peace.

* * *

**And there you are. Let me know what you think please. I wish you all the health and happiness in the world and i hope to see you soon with one of the many stories i have planned for this incredible, precious fandom that has meant so much to me. **

**And again a massive thank you to all of you. To each and everyone of you who have helped me complete this story. I hope you enjoy this final chapter and i hope to see you soon x. **


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